His leg ached, his chest filled with something … like hot fire. He wanted nothing more than to get up out of this chair and go with them. All of them. One day. If only to keep them safe.
The band drowned out the sound of the little girl babbling. They played one of Quinn's songs this time. Quinn's hands moved over the strings as if he were a man possessed, so much so that he forgot to sing when the time came. He ran his hand down the neck of the guitar, almost as if he were angry. He stopped playing. The band behind him slowed down, the sound diminishing even if the tune didn't. Quinn bowed his head, his eyes closed. "I grew up here. I went to school here. My mother and my father lived and died here. This is my town. You're my people. But … I don't belong here. I thought I didn't belong here. I thought it for so many years. Even when I was a kid running around this town like I owned it. I never felt connected. I never felt like I was a part of this … community. I forgot what it was like to have family and people who loved me. I did so many terrible things trying to escape … I never could escape. Not really. I'm small-town. I'm country. I'm just some kid who left and came back … changed. I changed. But really, I never did. I'm exactly the same as I was when I was sixteen and dreaming of a life that I thought I could never have. I wanted fame. I wanted to sing. I wanted rock and roll and everything that came with it."
The music played on, the drummer looked to the bass player with a shrug. Quinn grabbed the microphone with one hand and raised his head. He gazed out over the crowd towards them, the people in the tent, toward Nathan.
"I nearly lost everything. So many times. I forgot what was important. I forgot that I had people who loved me. I forgot that it's the people who stay behind and wait for you … I keep leaving and they keep waiting."
He waved his hand behind him and the music stopped almost as stridently as when he'd screeched his hand down the neck of his guitar.
"I'm retiring."
Nathan stood up. Emma in his arms.
"I've been thinking about it. It's time. This tour will be my last. I want to be a father. I want to be … a husband. I want to be with my family. I want to be what they need me to be. Home. I want to be home."
Quinn didn't wait for the band, he started a song, a song about standing on the outside always looking in. A song about being left out in the cold.
"I'm ready to come in from the cold. If you'll let me. Just let me in … from the cold."
Drew's heart broke for the man asking his lover to take him back.
And Drew knew in that instant that he would forever be the one standing outside the fire they made together.