If he admitted that he had feelings for Elizabeth, what then? How did that fit into their current framework?
It didn’t. The whole point of purchasing Elizabeth was for the sole reason of being able to fuck her when he pleased.
He wanted to tie her up and slap her ass, watching as her flesh jiggled with each resounding hit, listen to her breathy cries as he pleasured her with dildos and vibrators while forcing her to watch as others fucked.
But something told him, she wouldn’t mind. She trusted him to be her protector in every situation, even if he put her in it. She’d gotten off on watching others and in turn, her excitement had fueled his. They’d been only with each other and yet…the sex had been electric.
So different from anything he’d ever experienced. Was this…love?
Was it possible? Did fate truly have that much of a screwed sense of humor?
He only had to ask his cousins for that answer.
I don’t want to love her!
But even as he fought against the idea quickly latching onto his consciousness with steel-tipped claws, he warmed to it as well.
He wanted every kind of sex with her — dirty, tender, fast, slow and everything in between — and what kind of man was he that he required such a vast palette of options to find pleasure?
Actually, since being with Elizabeth, he wasn’t driven to fuck anyone but her.
The embarrassing incident with Gemini had pretty much driven that realization home.
Ahh, fuck. Gemini.
The whore who’d meant nothing to him and yet his actions had hurt Elizabeth so deeply.
Apologize.
Bare your fucking soul.
He didn’t know where the voice in his head came from or why.
In fact, the advice went against everything he believed in and yet, he desperately wanted the courage to do exactly that.
Sutton pulled Elizabeth closer, realizing she was fast asleep. He sighed, partly with relief, partly with disappointment.
Maybe tomorrow would come with more clarity — because right now, he just felt out of his depth and drowning.
And that was fucking frightening as hell.
Bookmark: 20
-20-
Elizabeth persuaded Sutton to remain in Spain for one more day, which they spent shopping and eating to their hearts’ content.
By the time they returned to the states, she was exhausted to the bone and couldn’t wait to crawl into her own bed.
Er, well, her bed with Sutton, that is.
They ate a quick bite, showered, and after an even hastier wham-bam quickie (which was still pretty satisfying) they fell into bed and were asleep within minutes.
The following morning she was surprised to see Sutton still in bed with her.
She’d half expected him to be gone to work, not because he was a relentless workaholic, but because he wanted to avoid all the questions that’d popped up while in Spain.
But he further surprised her by sharing, “Rising Dawn needs you to sign final paperwork for the adjusted contract for your sister. You have an appointment at ten this morning.”
“Oh, okay,” she said, rubbing at her eyes as she became fully awake.
She cast a quick look at Sutton and decided to throw something out there, knowing full well he would probably bolt.
“Would you mind going with me?”
“Why?” He seemed startled by her request. “Are you sure?”
She nodded and drew a breath. “I’d like you and Gretchen to meet.”
Sutton seemed to understand the gravity of her request. She would never expose Gretchen to someone she didn’t trust.
Elizabeth was telling him without saying the words that she trusted him with the single most important person in her life.
Sutton shook his head, troubled. “That’s not a good idea. I think it’s best to keep lines drawn. Lately, things have been a little blurred and that’s just not good business.”
Elizabeth felt the rejection like a physical slap but she didn’t let on that he’d hurt her.
“Fine.”
She wrapped a robe around her and walked past him to the bathroom. She wasn’t going to reward him with sweetness when he’d just hit her in the face with a dead fish.
To his credit, he didn’t push the issue. For that she was grateful. She didn’t want him to see her tears.
***
Sutton was angry.
Not at Elizabeth — well, maybe a little bit at Elizabeth — but mostly at himself.
Why had she asked him to accompany her to Rising Dawn? What purpose would that serve? He had no interest in knowing her extended family.
The only reason he’d been able to persuade Elizabeth to take the deal was because of her love for her sister and the shame of it was beginning to weigh on his shoulders.
And it shouldn’t.
He had no reason to suffer an ounce of shame.
He was a businessman — he’d seen an opportunity and he’d capitalized on it.
End of story.
And yet, there was a growing part of him that hated how he’d coerced Elizabeth into his bed. He couldn’t help but think of how happy his cousins seemed with their women and a part of him wanted that, too, even if he couldn’t actually admit it out loud.
Why was he so broken inside that he couldn’t just accept that he wanted Elizabeth in a deeper way than a piece of paper could define?
Because women weren’t trustworthy. Women existed to break men.
Hadn’t his own mother abandoned her children for her own gain? Completely wrote off her three kids for the promise of something better? No matter how he’d cried? How he’d begged her to stay?
Fuck women.
The insidious voice slithered in his mind, planting little seeds of hateful bitterness and he realized he would never be free to find true happiness until he crushed that little voice under his booted heel.
Elizabeth was opening herself to him, in spite of everything he’d done to her.
How was it possible that he deserved such a good woman?
He’d done nothing but hurt her from day one.
One trip to Spain wasn’t going to make up for the deep cuts he’d inflicted out of shame and guilt.
And now she was asking for him to accompany her to Rising Dawn, to further dig the knife in until he was well and truly skewered.
A knife he would gladly take for her, he realized.
Fuck it all!
He was falling in love with the damn woman.
How’d that happen?
He’d been so careful, so precise in his methods.
It’d been about the sex. It’d all been so clear in his mind.
But he hadn’t accounted for the way Elizabeth would make him feel, the way her breathy moans electrified his soul in ways that he couldn’t even fathom were possible.
Ah, shit.
He wasn’t fit to lick her toes much less love her. Not after everything he’d done.
The fact was, he wasn’t a good match for Elizabeth and never would be. She deserved someone who could love her without reservation, without the baggage of a fucked up past.
Someone who didn’t fantasize about all the depraved things he wanted to do to her in the still of the night.
He closed his eyes, willing the pain of his decision to go away.
He wasn’t so cruel that he’d drag Elizabeth through this fucked up parody of a relationship any longer. Not now. He’d do the honorable thing and release her from the contract.
Sutton released the pent up breath locked in his chest as he suffered the debilitating pain of losing Elizabeth.
So this was what doing the right thing felt like?
Yeah, this fucking sucked.
At this point, being the good guy left much to be desired.
Bookmark: 21
-21-
Elizabeth walked into Rising Dawn and the intake coordinator, Nancy, greeted her with a customarily warm smile.
Nancy was one of the main reasons Elizabeth’s family had been comfortable with Rising Dawn.
“So happy to see you again, dear,” Nancy said, shaking Elizabeth’s hand. “We were overjoyed to hear that Gretchen will remain with us. Come into my office and we’ll discuss the new contract.”
Elizabeth followed Nancy into the nicely appointed office, which was purposefully decorated to put people at ease due to the circumstances that often led people into her office.
Nancy pulled a file and pushed it toward Elizabeth with an engaging smile. “I thought before we sign official documents — that’s always so dry — I would share some of the amazing art your sister has been creating.”
Surprised, Elizabeth opened the file and immediately smiled with instant tears as she thumbed through the drawings.
Gretchen was non-verbal but her art was incredibly expressive and it alternately filled Elizabeth with joy and broke her heart at the same time.
“They’re beautiful,” Elizabeth exclaimed softly, wiping at her eyes. “She’s amazing. How long has she been painting?”
“We recently brought on a new art instructor and Gretchen has really taken to her. I think it’s because she reminds her of you. In fact,” Nancy sorted through the pile to find one piece in particular “when I saw this one, I knew she was trying to communicate something important.”
Elizabeth stared at the painting, tears flowing freely. It was a painting of a woman, holding a sketchpad, looking out a window, her expression lost in the creations of her own mind.
Elizabeth looked to Nancy. “It’s me.”
Nancy nodded. “That’s what I thought, too. You may think that because she’s nonverbal that she doesn’t notice things but Gretchen is quite observant about the world around her. She just expresses things differently. Like her sister, she has gravitated toward art.”