"She was my bridesmaid."
"You... were my best friend. I considered you a sister."
She played with the seam of her napkin. "I guess I got what I deserved, huh?"
"I don't wish that on anyone, but I hope that now you can see why the path to forgiveness has been so hard for me."
"I know, and I'm sorry. I want to try and fix this," she waved her hands around, pointing first at me and then herself, "... and try to explain that this isn't my sole purpose of seeing you. Until, we... until last night."
I scoffed. I didn't mean to, it just slipped out. "What do you have to explain, Rebekah? I saw you and him, and I know how sex works. You spread your legs and his cock goes in."
"You don't need to be so crass, Britta."
"Let's not pretend to be holier-than-thou. I don't need an explanation, and I shouldn't have to give you one based on what Roman did to you at your wedding."
Her mouth dropped opened in shock. "What?"
Shit.
She'd just caught Roman and the redhead, but that doesn't mean she knew about the barrel shed rendezvous.
Crap on a biscuit.
"He told you to ask me so I can only assume he knows I saw them." I sat back in the chair and exhaled. "I went looking for the toilet while everyone was dancing, and the line-up was twenty deep in the house, so the waitress told me about the barrel shed. As soon as I started walking down one of the aisles, I heard people going at it. When I got closer, I saw the redhead bent over one of the wine barrels and Roman behind her, fucking."
Tears slipped down Rebekah's cheeks, and I felt an ounce of guilt like I was the one who had deceived her.
"That asshole," she finally mouthed after a long silence. "He couldn't even be faithful on our wedding night?"
Again, I didn't know what to say. I was the wrong person to be consoling with.
"So," she started, suddenly perking up. It was such a transformation, and I was caught off guard. "How are you and Hawk?"
I looked at her in confusion. "What... that's it? You've got nothing else to say about Roman?"
"I've got plenty to say about him, but I organized this dinner to spend with you and repairing what was broken. I want to know more about you and Hawk."
She looked to me hopeful, like someone who'd deliver a love story so grand and so perfect, it would help her forget the mess of her own marriage.
"He's great. You know my family loves him." It was easy to talk about because it wasn't a lie.
"Have you organized any of the wedding so far?"
Ahh... this was when the lying really started.
"Um... bits and pieces, nothing set in stone just yet."
"That's so great." She smiled warmly, and I felt it was genuine. "I'm so happy for you."
"Thank you."
We sat in silence for a while, both pretending to be interested in our food.
It was Rebekah who spoke first. "It didn't just happen, you know?" I hazarded a guess that she was referring to her and Roman. "It wasn't meant to happen. I didn't want to love someone you did."
"I'm having a tough time believing that, Rebekah."
"You were always at work, and when you were home you went to bed early. Every time I came to visit, or we were out, you just left me with him, and then one night we just really hit it off. Perhaps we had too much to drink, I don't remember, but there was a definite spark there between us. And as time went on, that spark ignited into a flame."
"Sounds poetic," I said, failing to hide my sarcasm.
"Don't be like that," she said as if reprimanding a child.
"So, let me get this straight... because I worked too much, that gave you permission to fuck my fiancé at the time?"
Rebekah shook her head in denial. "I didn't plan it, Britta. We didn't plan to fall in love, it just... happened."
"I can't help who you fall in love with, Rebekah, but don't point the finger claiming it was because of me you two fell into each other's arms. That's not fair to me... I was the one who was hurt by your actions."
"I'm sorry, that's not how I wanted to say it. I guess it was just a tricky situation."
"I guess so," I agreed, my nails digging into the wooden armrest.
"So..." I said, wanting to change the direction of the conversation, "... what are you going to do about your new predicament?"
Rebekah swallowed hard, tears brimming her eyes. "I guess, I'll have the marriage annulled." She shook her head in frustration. "I'm such an idiot. I was a fool to think he'd changed. They never do. Even when he promised me the world, I should have laughed in his face."
"Sounds like Roman." I curled some more pasta around my fork. Now that we got the blame game out of the way, my appetite had returned. Rebekah, however, had pushed her plate of salad to the side.
"I want to try to rebuild what I've broken. That is, if you'll let me?"
"It will be a work in progress, that's all I can offer right now."
Rebekah seemed pleased with my response. She probably half expected me to have tipped my wine over her head by now, so by those standards, this was going well. "I can handle that," she agreed with a smile. "God..." She laughed. "I can't believe you and Hawk are an item."
Should I tell her it was fake, just because I didn't want to attend their wedding as a loner?
Nope.
"Yeah..." I half laughed. "It's always the things you least expect."
"I think it was expected," Rebekah smiled, bringing some life back to her eyes. "He always looked at you with such affection. Then as you got older that affection turned into something... a little naughty."
I looked at her in skeptical amusement. "Something naughty?"
"You know what I mean. He looks at you like he wants to eat you. You were always so nervous around him growing up that you didn't notice. But we all did."
Could she be right?
Was that why my brothers had always been so anti?
I looked at Rebekah who was smiling while telling her stories. It made me miss what we had. The gossiping. The sharing of secrets.
The waitress walked past, and she ordered us both a mojito. Our favorite.
"You know," she started, finally getting rid of her napkin. "I miss you, and I miss your family."
I nodded in understanding because she had been really close to everyone. And they loved her back. She was an added sister to my brothers, and my parents loved her like she was their daughter. That was why it wasn't just me who was so torn up when she and Roman hooked up.
My phone started to ring in my handbag, and I was kind of glad it did. I didn't want to become emotional with Rebekah. It was too early in our reconciliation for that to happen.
"Excuse me," I said while pressing accept.
"Hi Slate, what's-"
"Guess what?" he yelled down the line, causing me to flinch.
"What's happened?"
"A date is what's happening."
"Ahh... I didn't-"
"Too late, no if's or but's. It's tomorrow night. Shave your legs and wear something pretty."
"Jesus, Slate, can you not-"
"I have the perfect man for you. And hell, I'll even pay for the date. Be at Dominguez at six-thirty. He'll be wearing a blue-collared shirt and gray jacket. He's seen a photo of you and knows exactly what you look like. Don't be late."
And just like that, the call ended.
Fuck.
Rebekah was sitting across from me, frowning at my frazzled face, and I could only hope and pray she didn't hear any of that.
Double fuck.
How exactly was I meant to explain this to Hawk?
I thought for a moment before chiding myself. Who was I kidding? Hawk and I were just friends with benefits. I didn't owe him an explanation. I was sure he'd have an extra side of action somewhere down the line. Or the nights when I stayed at home.
The thought was enough to kill any good mood I had. I didn't want it that way. But that was Hawk, and he liked to be the boss, and right now I was enjoying the ride too much to put my foot down.
"That sounded like an interesting conversation," Rebekah probed.
I waved a hand dismissively as our mojitos were placed on the table.
I might need a few of these.
It was just Slate, carrying on the way Slate does. For the next hour, we chatted about life and holidays. It wasn't anything too deep. It was only our early stage of reconnecting.
But by the time it came to leave, and we said our amicable farewells, we agreed to meet up again in the near future.
With one problem out of the way, I now had another. And that came in the form of a dreaded blind date.
TUESDAY SPED ITS WAY through before I could get a good grasp on it. I'd only seen Hawk once today, and even then, it was only for a fleeting moment. He was barking orders into his phone yelling stuff about "what an absurd idea" something was, and he "wouldn't even consider it." I'd stopped to listen in, his back to me while he continued ranting. Whoever was on the other end sure was a sucker for punishment. When his voice went low and even, my heart began to pound. That was when Hawk was at his most serious.
"If you continue to probe into affairs that aren't yours, you can consider all business agreements null and void. Remember, I don't need you. You need me."
I'd heard Hawk talking business before, but this terrified me. It was a side of him I rarely saw because, like most things, he had business under control.