Walking up to her, I take in the view. “We get a lot of water here.”
“How long has this property belonged to your club?”
“Way back. And during the days of slavery, the owner worked with the old Underground Railroad.” Off Luna’s curious look, I explain, “They smuggled slaves to the North for their freedom.”
“Wow,” she breathes. “Brave!”
“A lot of people died.”
“I’m sure.”
I can’t believe I have to say goodbye to her in the morning. I’m still deep down hoping she changes her mind.
“I’ve got something to show you.”
Luna looks at me from the corners of her beautiful eyes. “What?”
I just smile and start walking. The sound of her boots in the grass follows soon after. I told Scratch to leave the garage unlocked.
Upon sight of all the Harleys lined up with style, Luna sharply breathes in.
“Amazing, right?” I tap my baby as I pass her for the Triumph.
Luna follows me and slows down to take in the white and black classic. “Wow,” she whispers, running her fingers over the smooth seat.
“It’s yours.”
Her hand freezes. “What?” She looks at me with a look I don’t understand.
At least, not yet.
“Jett, I said I can’t stay…”
“How are you going to leave? On foot?”
Fuck, it hurt to say that. Inhaling I stare back at her as she tries to understand what I’m tellin’ her.
“You’re giving me this not as a bribe but as a gift?”
Oh fuckin’ hell.
That’s what that look was.
Pissed off, I growl, “I don’t need to bribe women, Sunshine. You got that?” Turning on my heels I head out.
“Jett!” she shouts at my back.
Throwing my hand in the air I flip her off.
“JETT!” She runs up and grabs my arm. “Stop! STOP IT!”
Tugging her off me I jab my finger in the air. “You don’t want to be with me? I get it. You don’t have to treat me like fuckin’ dogshit. Jesus, woman! I’m a pretty smart motherfucker. I got the message. Did I fuckin’ touch you last night? NO. I STAYED IN MY ROOM. I invite you into my home, give you one of the coolest rides on the road so you don’t have to hitch, and what do you do? You stab me in my heart one last time. I’m done. I’m fuckin’ done. Why don’t you leave now!”
Her deep brown beauties fill up and she covers her mouth with her hands.
I feel eyes on us and cut a glance upstairs to find the women watchin’ us from the window.
“THIS AIN’T A FUCKIN’ SHOW!”
The curtains fly shut.
Digging into my jeans for the keys, I throw them to Luna. “It runs well. New tires. Scratch has O.C.D. when it comes to bikes. Gassed up and everything.”
“Jett, I…” She shakes her head and runs her hands through her hair, rubbing the shaved part a little longer like she’s remembering what I’ve done.
I wish I’d never met her.
“Bye Sunshine. Take care.”
I’m standing at one of the front windows, bracing myself with my hand on the windowpane as I stare out through the gauze. I don’t want to chance her catchin’ me watchin’ like this.
It’s some time before I see her. While I wait I picture her unloading her things from Tonk’s bike and transferring them to the Triumph. Was she cryin’ when she did it?
There’s the sound of that sweet engine.
Any second and she’ll be drivin’ off.
Fuck. This. Shit.
There she is.
I didn’t tell her she could take my extra helmet, but there she goes riding off with it, her hair braided like she learned to do before we hit San Antonio. The knots were somethin’ else, even though she said she didn’t care.
The bike suits her size. None of us guys would have wanted it. Scratch earned my respect with this move.
Again.
I guess I owe him.
Heavy boots walk up behind me and I glance over as Honey Badger hits my back, trying to lend me comfort. “Sorry, man.”
“Scratch…” I choke, unable to finish my sentence.
Honey says, “He told me what he did,” his voice low and somber.
We watch the taillight disappear into the fog.
The lump in my throat grows edges.
I just shake my head real slow like.
“Fuuuuhhhhck this.”
Luna
I am a shell of myself.
Lost.
No.
Worse.
I have nowhere to go.
The wind on my face was nothing like how I felt when he was by my side.
I am empty.
Numb.
Scared.
Is this what I have to look forward to?
A life where I hurt myself because of my past?
Do I deserve love?
I don’t know.
Those women at the Cipher’s home base were foreign to me. They were so confident in their men. Talking about private things.