“She’s not stayin,’ Scratch. Just helpin’ me with Tonk’s ride.”
Scratch is quiet for a second and I hear Led Zeppelin playing in the background, really far away. But I’d know that awesome shit anywhere. “How you feel about that, Jett?”
“I’m a man. I don’t feel.”
He chuckles. “Right. What was I thinkin’?”
Grabbing my toothbrush, sounds of her moaning in the shower haunt my eardrums so I make quick strides to get the hell out of here. “I tried to talk her into stayin.’ No go.”
After more of just the distant record playing, finally Scratch somberly confesses, “I had a woman say no once.”
“Did she change her mind?” I’m not sure if he’s talking about Mona, his current wife.
“Nah, she stuck to it. I’ll never forget her. Laura. Fuck, what a broad she was. Beautiful little tornedo from hell but I sure did love her.”
We hang up with me feelin’ shittier. Walking into dusk I find Luna already at the bikes, ready to go.
“I heard you on the phone.”
I tense like a rattlesnake in danger. “What’d you hear?”
“Nothing,” she quickly says. “Just heard your voice. Muffled. Why? You have something to hide?”
Shit motherfucker sonofabitch. She has to go and test me. I have to be honest with her. The one thing this woman needs more than anything is for me to be trustworthy.
Which is a bitch and a half.
We all tell white lies.
“Nothin’ to hide, Sunshine. I told Scratch what I already told you – that I wanted you to stay. Not fun walking through the rejection all over again.”
Firing up out of nowhere, Luna’s dark eyes flash. “I’m not rejecting you! I just can’t give you what you want!”
“Oh really – we’re gonna do this now? Fine. Let’s fuckin’ go. You could try, Sunshine,” I growl, leaning into her face.
She rises up on her toes to meet my anger with equality. “I’ve given you a lot already! I’m here aren’t I?”
“Shit, well, don’t do me any favors, babe.” I turn and toss my shit in the saddlebags.
She rounds my bike so we’re face to face over the back of it. “I didn’t ask you to sit by me in the hospital.”
Laughing under my breath, I shake my head. “No, you didn’t. You couldn’t really do that…since YOU WERE IN A COMA!”
“My point exactly! I didn’t have the time you had to get all worked up with feelings!” Her lips go tight and I swear I’ve never punched a woman but in this split second I have to remind myself of that.
“Sunshine!” I jab my index finger at her. “You’re fuckin’ lyin’ to yourself if you think you don’t care about me. I see it. Hide it all you want, but I see things you don’t even know you’re feelin.’ This fight you’re pickin’ with me right now is just because we’re gonna say goodbye in less than twenty-four hours and this makes you feel better about that. This way you’ll be able to call me an asshole and pretend you’re NOT fallin’ in love with me. Well, I hate to break the fuckin’ news, but YOU ARE.”
Her eyes are wide. She’s speechless. Good. I can’t take this bullshit where someone is that out of touch with themselves. I know she’s feral. I know her family sucked worse than most. Who she spent her years with after she left that whorehouse, probably wasn’t any kind of stable environment. The bullshit gypsy prediction about her ovaries is sign enough.
“You know how to ride?” I growl, handing her the keys.
“No,” she admits through gritted teeth.
“Fuck,” I mutter, glaring at her. “You lied. Great.”
“I told you I’m not a good woman,” she spits at me.
“BAD WOMEN DON’T BUY A VAN FULL OF FUCKIN’ COMFORTERS!”
Luna’s lips part as her eyes go soft.
Do I have to remind her that she doesn’t suck?
I guess so.
“You know what else bad women don’t do, Sunshine?” I lean over my bike and hold her resistant gaze. “They don’t inspire the admiration of the Carmen’s of the world. You see how that girl looks at you? If you were a fuckin’ cunt to her on that train, she wouldn’t be like that. I’m guessing you treated her like a little sister and took her in here.” I punch my chest. “And bad women don’t make men like me want to be by their side for FUCKIN’ EVER.” I walk around the bike, grab her by her shoulders so that she’s on her tiptoes. In a lower voice I inform her without even taking a breath, “You come from a fucked-up family. I get it. I do. You think you’re evil because that man was your dad, but your mom got tricked. And she was good. Her blood pumps through your veins, Luna! My mother told me to hold out for a different kind of woman. And by different, she didn’t mean an asshole. She meant one who makes me happy. And I wouldn’t think that was you if I had any belief – any at all – that you were a piece of shit.” I set her down and lift her chin, looking down into her wounded eyes. “The only one who thinks you’re a piece of shit here, is you.”