“Don’t.”
“Don’t?”
“Don’t.” She put her hands on my arms to stop me from pacing. “Look, I really like her. I hope that it works out, but you’ve done everything you possibly can to show her how you feel. It’s time to step back and give her the space she needs to hopefully come to the right conclusion—that you’re the one. I could see in her eyes how much she still cares about you. She was crying, for Christ’s sake. The only thing holding her back is fear of getting hurt.”
“What if she lets fear win and ends up with dickwad?”
“Then, you have to move on.”
Could I move on? I couldn’t fathom wanting anyone in the same way or as badly ever again in my lifetime. But if she chose him, I knew I would have to get on with my life eventually, date other women and finally end my two year celibacy.
She opened a package of Tim Tams and poured two tall servings of milk. Since you can’t get that brand of cookies in America, Adele had a friend from Melbourne who shipped them to her in bulk.
I dunked one of the chocolate-covered wafers into my glass and took a bite as I spoke with my mouth full. “How the fuck am I gonna stay here wasting away in Hermosa Beach, knowing that I may never see her again if she decides to move away with him? He’s leaving in just a matter of days.”
Adele looked confused. “How fast could she possibly move to Boston? Wouldn’t she have to sell her house, get rid of all her shit?”
“She rents the house and mentioned that most of the furniture was there when she moved in. The biggest problem is going to be transporting our goat.”
“You realize you said our goat, right? As in your goat, too?”
“Fuck. I meant her goat.”
Adele smiled sympathetically. “No, you didn’t.”
“You’re right. I didn’t.”
Later that evening after Adele returned to Harry’s, anger started to override all other emotions. I sent a text to Aubrey.
Chance: The chase is over. I’m giving you the space you want. If you need me, you know where to find me.
She sent a simple response.
Aubrey: Thank you.
I was pretty damn proud of myself the first few days of that following week. I didn’t call or text Aubrey and kept occupied at home in Hermosa Beach, working on a new junk art project and taking care of some long neglected repairs around the house. Even though I was keeping busy, deep down, I was miserable.
It was hard not to contact her, but I’d been taking my sister’s advice, keeping my distance in the hopes that Aubrey would make the right decision on her own.
As the end of the week neared, I was starting to grow impatient. One night, while trying unsuccessfully to distract myself with an episode of Top Gear, I impulsively broke my vow and texted her.
Chance: You there?
Aubrey: I’m here.
Chance: Hi
Aubrey: Sorry I haven’t been in touch.
Chance: It’s fine. I’ve been intentionally staying away so you can sort your head out.
Aubrey: Are you back in Temecula?
Chance: No. There’s nothing for me there besides you, and I’m giving you space. My home is here. Although, now that you’ve been here, it doesn’t seem whole anymore without you.
Aubrey: I’m sorry that you regret taking me home.
Chance: The only thing I regret is not bursting through that shower door, Princess.
She didn’t immediately respond. A few minutes later, my phone vibrated.
Aubrey: Thank you for not doing that.
Chance: You would still be here if I had.
Aubrey: Is that right?
Chance: You might have trouble walking, but you’d still be here.
Aubrey: I see.
She never texted back, so I typed again.
Chance: Are you okay?
Aubrey: Yes. I can’t text much more. I promise to call you this weekend.
Chance: Is he there with you?
Aubrey: Yes
Jealousy hit me like a ton of bricks. There was that voice again that sounded awfully like Mum. “Get off your hiney and get your woman!” Suddenly, it just clicked. What was keeping me here? Pride? Fuck pride. She was all that mattered. Getting her back was more important.
I was not okay. This was not okay. I knew in my heart that she loved me. I could see it in her eyes. She was just scared of getting hurt again. Sitting back like this was only giving him the upper hand. If I was going to let her go, it sure as hell wasn’t going to be without a fight. I needed to be near her.
Change of plans.
Grabbing my keys, I got into my truck and hit the highway toward Temecula. The road was barren, so I was going about eighty-five miles per hour.
The plan was to spend the night at the motel and be ready bright and early for whatever the day held. I wasn’t sure what tomorrow would bring. I just knew that I was going to be there with her till the end, regardless of how it turned out.