"Come on, Jonny, there has to be someone around who doesn't care that you're an ex-Cobra," Jame said.
"Perhaps you should lower your standards a bit," Pearce suggested. "Working as a laborer wouldn't hurt you any."
"Or maybe you could be a patroller," Gwen spoke up. "That would be neat."
Jonny shook his head. "I've tried being a laborer, remember? The men on the road crew were either afraid of me or thought I was trying to show them up."
"But once they got to know you, things would be different," Irena said.
"Or maybe if they had a better idea of what you'd done for the Dominion they'd respect you more," Peace added.
"No, Dader." Jonny had tried explaining to his father why he didn't want Cedar Lake to honor him publicly, and the elder Moreau had listened and said he understood. But Jonny doubted that he really did, and Pearce clearly hadn't given up trying to change his son's mind. "I probably would be a good patroller, Gwen," he added to his sister, "but I think it would remind me too much of some of the things I had to do in the Army."
"Well, then, maybe you should go back to school," Irena suggested.
"No!" Jonny snapped with a sudden flash of anger.
A stunned silence filled the room. Inhaling deeply, Jonny forced himself to calm down. "Look, I know you're all trying to be helpful, and I appreciate it. But I'm twenty-four years old now and capable of handling my own problems." Abruptly, he put down his fork and stood up. "I'm not hungry. I think I'll go out for a while."
Minutes later he was driving down the street, wondering what he should do. There was a brand-new pleasure center in town, he knew, but he wasn't in the mood for large groups of people. He mentally ran through a list of old friends, but that was just for practice; he knew where he really wanted to go. Jame had suggested he call Alyse Carne before dropping in on her, but Jonny was in a perverse mood. Turning at the next corner, he headed for Blakely Street.
Alyse seemed surprised when he announced himself over her apartment building's security intercom, but she was all smiles as she opened her door. "Jonny, it's good to see you," she said, holding out her hand.
"Hi, Alyse." He smiled back, taking her hand and stepping into her apartment, closing the door behind him. "I was afraid you'd forgotten about me while I was gone."
Her eyes glowed. "Not likely," she murmured . . . and suddenly she was in his arms.
After a long minute she gently pulled away. "Why don't we sit down?" she suggested. "We've got three years to catch up on."
"Anything wrong?" he asked her.
"No. Why?"
"You seem a little nervous. I thought you might have a date."
She flushed. "Not tonight. I guess you know I've been seeing Doane."
"Yes. How serious is it, Alyse? I deserve to know."
"I like him," she said, shrugging uncomfortably. "I suppose in a way I was trying to insulate myself from pain in case you . . . didn't come back."
Jonny nodded understanding. "I got a lot of that on Adirondack, too, mostly from whichever civilian family I was living with at the time."
Alyse seemed to wince a bit. "I'm . . . sorry. Anyway, it's grown more than I expected it to, and now that you're back . . ." Her voice trailed off.
"You don't have to make any decisions tonight," Jonny said after a moment. "Except whether or not you'll spend the evening with me."
Some of the tension left her face. "That one's easy. Have you eaten yet, or shall I just make us some cahve?"
They talked until nearly midnight, and when Jonny finally left he had recaptured the contentment he'd felt on first arriving at Cedar Lake. Doane Etherege would soon fade back into the woodwork, he was sure, and with Alyse and his family back in their old accustomed places he would finally have a universe he knew how to deal with. His mind was busy with plans for the future as he let himself into the Moreau house and tiptoed to his bedroom.
"Jonny?" a whisper came from across the room. "You okay?"
"Fine, Jame—just great," Jonny whispered back.
"How was Alyse?"
Jonny chuckled. "Go to sleep, Jame."
"That's nice. Good night, Jonny."
* * *
One by one, the great plans crumbled.
With agonizing regularity, employers kept turning Jonny down, and he was eventually forced into a succession of the level-nine and -ten manual jobs he had hoped so desperately to avoid. None of the jobs lasted very long; the resentment and fear of his fellow workers invariably generated an atmosphere of sullen animosity which Jonny found hard to take for more than a few days at a time.