Coach Love(58)
“Is Dominic gay?”
Something resembling fear flickered across Kieran’s face.
“Why do you need to know?”
She took a breath.
“Kent’s...he’s...I don’t....”
Kieran grabbed her arms, digging his fingers into her flesh. “You’re getting married in four days. Get a grip on yourself. We’re done. I don’t know what Dominic has to do with any of this but I’m guessing I don’t want to know.”
“But he...he’s....” The words would not form themselves. She couldn’t say it, as if admitting it to anyone, even one of her oldest and best friends would be admitting a failure on her part. “Never mind.” She moved past him. “You’re right. I’m sorry. I was just shocked to see you, you know.” The awkward unanswered question stayed that way.
“Gettin’ naked for cash?” His infectious grin caught her off guard. “A one-time deal, I promise you that.” He dragged his fingers through his hair. “Now I have to go do my real job.” He jerked his thumb to the door. “Bouncer, ID checker, whatever.”
“I heard you have an interview at the high school.” She brushed the tears off her cheeks and attempted to calm her breathing.
“How did you hear that?”
“Hope Kerrigan told me. She’s out there tonight.”
“The principal?” His voice broke, his face flushed red in a way so familiar to her it made her chest ache. “Here?”
“She seemed impressed. I think you only helped your cause.”
“Yeah, well, it’s a coaching job and only part-time. I get to keep my glamorous night job.”
She smiled and patted his arm. He tugged her close again, so she let him hold her, pressing her ear to his chest, listening to his heartbeat for a few more minutes.
“I’m sorry,” she said.
“Me, too.” He kissed her hair. “What’s wrong?”
“Kent is...he has a....”
“Is he cheating on you? Tell me now so I can go beat some sense into him.”
“No. I mean, not anymore.” She kept her voice calm but her thoughts sloshed around inside her exhausted brain. Those tattoos—the one of the devil under his shoulder—how could that be anyone else?
“I can’t do this,” he ground out, his face a mask of frustration.
“I’m not making you do anything.”
“You know what I mean.”
“I’ll see you at the wedding.” She brushed past him. “Sorry to make such a scene on your big night.”
She opened the door, hoping he would stop her. He didn’t. So she pushed through the throng of half-naked strippers out to the bar, waiting until she made it out the door to grab her phone to call a cab.
But when she stomped out, she spotted Kent slouched beside his car. He straightened when the light cast from the obnoxious neon sign illuminated her. Pondering him and all her options at that split second, she had no words.
“Helen called me,” he said. She took in the broad expanse of his shoulders in the slightly rumpled polo shirt, his jaw rough with stubble. “You all right?”
She nodded but kept her distance.
“So, let’s talk.”
“All right. Tell me what’s going on with you and...him.”
He took a deep breath then leveled his deep-blue gaze at her. “I loved him. But I...I choose you, not him.”
“But you, I mean we, um, we you know, hooked up and you guys were together still. I saw the messages. I know you were—” she inhaled. “With him a few weeks ago, in Atlanta.” She struggled not to scream and run inside. “I’m not your responsibility. You don’t have to take care of me or build me a house or keep me home, barefoot, pregnant, and tearing my hair out because I’m not working. You shouldn’t, not if I’m not the person you really love.”
He flinched and took a step away from her. Her pulse raced but she had to say this, all of it, before it poisoned her and as a result, their nascent marriage.
“I think you still love your old boyfriend,” he said with a flat voice, shocking her. “But you keep pretending with me, like you think I’m doing with you.” He gripped her arms. “But I choose you. I love you, goddamn it. I choose us, our life, our family. You…you should work. We’ll live in Lucasville or wherever you want.” She sensed herself collapsing in the face of his abject agony, acknowledging her own distress about her feelings for him, versus her feelings for Kieran. She bit her lip and he kept talking. “I need this. I need you. Please...please don’t leave me.” He kissed her then, in that way he had that had seduced her the first day they met. Melting into him, she let relief roll through her, but knowing the moment as a stopgap. They were damaged goods, both of them.