“I’m dying,” I say, figuring that should about sum it up. A few seconds later, the same nurse and doctor from earlier reappear.
“What’s hurting on you, honey?” the doctor asks.
“Everything. Everywhere.”
“Your stomach?”
“Yes!” I yell in frustration. “My fucking hair hurts. And my throat is so dry…”
“We’ll get you some ice chips for now.”
“Can I get my button back?” As I say it, I feel the nurse slide it into my hand.
“It fell off the bed. Can we get your name, miss? A next of kin to call?”
“Carmical,” I breathe, feeling my body as it starts to numb from the morphine. “Luke Carmical. Hattiesburg…” Then I’m gone again.
My throat feels like I’ve swallowed barbed wire, as movement wakes me. I’m being rolled down a hall—fluorescent white lights passing above me just like in the movies. I lick my dried lips, but it does no good. My tongue is like sandpaper.
“Where are you taking me?” I whisper. When I don’t get an answer, I lift my hand and my nurse’s face appears.
“Hello, sunshine!” She’s way too freaking happy. “We’re taking you down for another catscan.”
“Water.”
She nods. “I promise the moment we’re finished, I’ll get you some water.” Her face flushes and her voice drops. “You have some good-lookin’ company waiting for you.” No doubt she’s talking about Luke. I can tell by the faraway look in her eyes that she’s fell victim to his charm.
I’m not in any pain, so I know I’m pumped full of drugs, but I guess my body has slept long enough. I’m awake for the entire catscan. When it’s finished, I’m wheeled back to my room. I was hoping we’d pass by the waiting area and I could see Luke.
Liar…
Truth is, a part of me hopes he’s here too. Only so I can tell him to his face that I hate him. But that’s a lie too. I don’t hate him. I love him too much. Who gives a shit if he don’t love me? I’d give up my morphine pump just to feel him hold me one more time. And that’s saying something. This morphine is the shit.
I watch the nurse shuffle around the room, wrinkling my nose when she empties the blood bag. Blood bag? “Is that?”
“Yes, you have a catheter.”
“Why is it—”
“It’s common with your injuries.”
“But isn’t that really ba—”
“I assure you, it’s fine.”
“Can I finish a fuckin’ sentence?” I snap, then squeeze my eyes shut. “I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be.” She beams at me. “I think what you need is to see your brother.”
“And some water,” I add, tempted to get up and get it myself if she doesn’t deliver in the next three seconds.
“Already got it, honey.” She adjusts my bed so I’m sitting up. I feel pressure in my lower abdomen, but still no pain. Handing me the cup, she pats my hand. “Is your brother—”
“Married?” I ask, cutting her off and giving her a dose of her own medicine. “Yes. He is.”
She rolls her eyes. “I’ll send him in.” I nearly smile at the regret in her voice.
When Luke strides through the door a few minutes later, my eyes well with tears at the sight of him. He’s definitely giving the nurses the full LLC show—wearing leather and looking as devilishly, dangerously sexy as ever. In their eyes anyway. My tastes are… bigger.
“Hey, babe,” he smirks, brushing my hair off my forehead and leaning to kiss me there. “How ya feelin’?”
“Good. Better now.” He swipes a tear with his thumb.
“Good. That’s real good, babe.”
“I totaled out Cook’s truck,” I admit, although I’m pretty sure he knows that by now.
“I’ll take care of it.”
I shake my head. “It’s not your place.”
“Yeah…it is.”
I don’t argue, my mind is too busy trying to talk myself out of my next question. I give in though, unable to wait any longer. “Have you talked to him?” I ask, noticing the flash of sadness in his clear, blue eyes.
“Of course.”
“How is he?”
The corner of his mouth tips. “Worried about you.”
“I’m worried about him,” I admit, figuring after our last conversation, he feels partially responsible for this.
“He’s good, babe. You focus on getting you better.” He gives me a wink, catching another stray tear. “He’ll come, you know. All you have to do is tell me he can, and he’ll be here.”
“The Bryce I know wouldn’t ask.”
He laughs at that. “You’re right. And he may or may not be waiting in the lobby, surrounded by Slidell’s finest boys in blue. He doesn’t take well to being told no.”
“They wouldn’t let him in?” I ask, knowing if my body wasn’t numb, I’d feel heat pooling in my belly at the knowledge that he’s here.
“Only me. Said you told them I was your next of kin.”
“I did say that.”
“I’m glad.” Pain registers on his face. “You scared me, Delilah.”
“I didn’t mean—”
“You’re very precious to me, and the last twenty-four hours have been hell. Please don’t ever put me through that again.”
I nod. “I won’t. I promise.” He smiles then, reaching down to place a lingering kiss in my hair. “Luke?”
“Yeah?”
“Will you get him for me?”
He smirks, tipping his chin toward the door. “He’s already here.”
CHAPTER 29
How I hadn’t felt his presence, I’ll never know. Or maybe I did, and it was him that warmed my heart, and not Luke’s words. His stance is relaxed, his hands hanging loosely at his sides as his green eyes take me in—absorbing me completely. He doesn’t look sad or pained, only thoughtful. I’m aware that we’re alone only when I hear the click of the door when Luke closes it behind him.
“Hello, Love,” he says. The sound carries across the room—blanketing me.
“Hello, yourself.”
He smiles then, grabbing a chair as he comes to sit next to my bed. He takes my hand in his—careful to not pull any of the tubes hanging out of me. Dipping his head, he plants a sweet, lingering kiss on the back of my hand.
“I don’t know what to say here, Bryce.”
He lifts his eyes to me, shaking his head. “You don’t have to say anything.” He kisses my hand again before cradling it between both of his. “It’s time I did some talking.”
The sincerity in his voice makes my mouth even drier, and I lift the small Styrofoam cup to my lips before taking a generous pull. Best damn hospital water ever.
“That college roommate I told you about? She wasn’t just my roommate… she was my fiancé.” I still at his admission. “I loved her.” Hurt registers in his green eyes and I feel it in my heart. “She was a pain addict. I tried to help her, but she was too far gone…damaged beyond repair. I thought my love would be enough, but it wasn’t.”
His eyes center on me. I can see the wound is no longer fresh, but still affects him. “She took her own life the day after I proposed. She left me a note, apologizing to me and telling me I was the only real thing she’d ever had. That she would never be enough and I deserved so much more.”
As I listen, I realize all of a sudden why Bryce knew so much about my affliction, my need for pain, and it makes me admire and love him all the more. So much that my heart hurts more than any other part of my banged-up body.
“For years I lived with the guilt. I thought maybe if I hadn’t met her, or if she hadn’t loved me then she’d still be here.” He pauses a moment, and I squeeze his hand. In turn, he kisses my fingers again. Then takes a deep, staggering breath.
“The club helped. I found peace in it. Then I met you.” He smiles then—a genuine smile that replaces the sadness in his eyes with happiness. “I didn’t want to fall for you…damn, I didn’t. But I couldn’t help it. At first I felt like maybe if I helped you through this, then somehow it would give meaning to her death.”
He shakes his head, some memory resurfacing in his mind and softening his face. “But you captivated me, Delilah. She became nothing more than a distant memory…” He drops his eyes. “When you told me you loved me, it brought it all back…the pain…the guilt…it was worse than I remembered.”
He clears his throat—fighting against his emotions. When he meets my gaze again, I’m a blubbering mess and he’s completely in control. “I was wrong to walk out on you, Love. I let the best thing in my life suffer because of my own tainted soul. And I should’ve told you that night how I really felt.”
His hand comes to cradle my face, his thumb brushing across my cheek and smearing the heavy flow of my tears. “I do love you, Delilah.” My heart flips at the words. “I’ve loved you since the first time you gave me your trust. You make everything right. And there is nothing better in this world than you.”