“Gavin.” I waited until he glanced my way. “I want to.”
Relief broke across his expression, so strong that it surprised me. I hadn’t realized that he didn’t want to be alone any more than I did. I was glad he wanted me to be with him. I loved Krissy, and I knew at some point, I would want nothing more than to curl up with my friend and cry, but right now, I wanted something that would eradicate the memory of Howard’s hands on my body, and sex with Gavin would definitely do that.
Chapter 10
There is something to be said about the adrenalin rushing through your body when you think you are about to die or face a fate even worse. Surviving such an experience makes the endorphins go sky high. So, based on my previous experiences with Gavin, I had a pretty good idea of what to expect when we got back to his place. I doubted we’d even completely get undressed or make it to the bedroom. I had these images playing through my head of him picking me up as soon as we were inside his apartment, putting my back against the wall, unzipping his pants, and fucking me right there. Maybe we’d get to the couch, shedding clothes along the way, but it would be hard and fast, something almost frantic, fueled by our desire to forget about what had happened and almost happened today.
So, when he shut the door behind us and picked me up, I was prepared for whatever he was going to do. I was ready for anything. Anything except what actually happened next. Instead of tearing my shirt off and fucking me senseless, he kicked off his shoes, cradled me against his chest, and carried me into the bathroom, leaving the blanket on the floor, forgotten.
He walked right into his shower, both of us still fully dressed – or at least as dressed as we had been when we’d come in. Without letting me go, he turned on the water, giving it the minute it needed to warm before switching on the spray.
He looked down at me, droplets of water clinging to his eyelashes. He set me on my feet and gently touched my face. It wasn’t until he spoke that I realized the shower wasn’t the only reason his face was wet.
“Do you have any idea how terrified I was when I walked into that room and saw you there?” His thumb brushed my bottom lip. “It’s been a long time since I’ve been that scared.” His hand was trembling.
I took his hand and pressed my lips against his palm. “I need you to forgive me.” I hadn’t realized I was going to say the words until they came out. He might hate me when I was done, but I didn’t want to lie to him, not when he was being so open and honest with me.
“Forgive you for what?”
I looked up at him, feeling my own eyes burning with tears. “I thought you knew,” I said. “About the girls Howard was selling. I overheard him in his office at the mansion, telling Annie that you were supposed to be grooming me for him. I believed him. And then when you told him that you knew about what he’d done to Camille and that you had gotten close to him to find out the truth, I thought you’d just used me to get to him.”
“You thought all of this we have together had been a lie?” Gavin had gone very still.
“I didn’t know what to think,” I said. “Everything between us had happened so fast and you’d been so persistent. I’ve never had a man want me like that before, and it was easier for me to believe that it was an act than to think that it could possibly be true. That this intense connection could be real... for you. It was always real for me.”
I fell silent and waited for his response. My stomach was in knots. I’d thought the worst of him, believed lies and speculation. I wouldn’t blame him if he didn’t want to see me again.
“This,” he said as he cupped the side of my face. “This is the most real thing I’ve felt in ten years.” He lowered his head and gently kissed me. “None of it was fake, and I’m sorry I did anything that made it hard for you to believe me.”
He was apologizing to me? I shook my head. “It wasn’t your fault,” I protested. “It was all me.”
He put his finger on my lips. “How about this?” he suggested, “No more apologies. Forgiveness across the board, and we have a clean start.”
I smiled. “I like that.”
He returned the smile with that sweet one I loved so much. “Now, what do you say we get clean for our clean start?”
He looked down at me then, his eyes darkening at the sight of his shirt molded to my body. I couldn’t help but drop my gaze, wanting to see his body’s response. I wasn’t disappointed. The jeans were tight and wet, leaving little to the imagination. My stomach twisted in anticipation.