Clean Sweep(42)

No, the bullet hit dead center. I braced myself.

"I have a cousin whose stepbrother married a woman from Earth. He says --"

"My lord, it's not appropriate for you to discuss your cousin's stepbrother's wife."

Arland's eyes widened. "You're right," he said, his voice full of astonishment. "Personal honor. Very important." He swung to the window. "It's so nice out there. You have a lovely planet. And you, Dina, are also lovely. Did I mention that?"

"You did," Sean said.

"My man." Arland stepped over and punched Sean in the arm. "That was some wonderful stuff. We should drink more of it. I've got to get out of here."

"No, you don't," I said. "My lord, you need to lie down."

Arland opened the back door and walked out. I ran to the door. He stopped in the middle of the grassy stretch of lawn and yanked off his T-shirt, presenting us with a view of a muscular back.

"So coffee gets him drunk," Sean said.

"Vampires have a very sensitive metabolism," Caldenia said.

"He just drank an equivalent of an entire bottle of whiskey," I told him.

Arland's jeans followed his T-shirt. He wasn't wearing anything under them.

"Oo," Caldenia said. "What is the saying? Full moon!"

I dragged my hand over my face. Arland tossed the jeans in the air and sprinted through the orchard.

"I've never understood why some guys strip when drunk." Sean grinned.

"It's not funny. I've got a naked drunk vampire running around in my orchard."

Arland zigzagged back and forth among the trees.

Sean pressed his lips together, his expression strained.

"It's not funny!"

Sean leaned against the door and laughed.

"It's your fault. You gave him coffee. Go get him before he leaves the property and Marais grabs him," I growled.

"Yes, ma'am. I'm on it."

He sprinted into the sunshine and made a beeline for Arland.

"I'm so glad you decided to throw the rulebook out the window," Caldenia said. "Living here is getting more exciting by the minute."





Chapter Eleven


"Naked?" Arland raised the wet kitchen towel off his face long enough to give Sean a mortified glance.

"Don't sweat it," Sean said. "Could've happened to anyone."

His tone sounded casual, but Sean was watching Arland the way one would watch a slithering snake: calm, but ready to stomp on it if it chose to move his way.

Arland groaned and put the towel back on his face. Somehow Sean had managed to talk him down and get him back into the kitchen and into his clothes, and moments later the caffeine withdrawal hit with a vengeance. Now the vampire sat in the kitchen, his back against the wall, an ice-cold towel on his face. Tylenol and Ibuprofen were out of the question. I had no idea how vampire metabolism would react to it, and his personal med unit was busy keeping his uncle alive.

A vampire had once described a caffeine headache as the worst pain she had endured, even counting childbirth. So far Arland was doing his best to be heroically stoic about it.

The coffee maker finished purring. I took the cup, added a teaspoon of sugar, crouched by Arland, and lifted the corner of the towel. He looked at me. "What is this?"

"Peppermint tea. It will help with the headache. No side effects, I promise."

He took the cup from my hands. "Thank you. While I was... drunk, did I happen to mention my cousin?"

"Several times," Sean said.

Arland groaned. "My apologies."

"It's not a big deal," I told him.

"Did I say anything else?"

"What, about a blood debt, killing the dahaka, and how your House honor was involved?" Sean asked. "Nope, didn't mention it."

Arland dragged his hand across his face.

"You don't have to be an ass about it," I said.

Sean shrugged. "How am I an ass? I live here. This is my neighborhood. I'm protecting it and I'm protecting you." His voice slid into a calm, methodical tone. "Let's review: first, this guy's uncle shows up, threatens you, ignores your warning, goes out to hunt dahaka, gets his people killed, and nearly dies. I rescue him, you keep him alive, and then Prince Rapunzel appears in a flash of red lightning, forces you to protect him, putting you and the entire neighborhood at risk, and explains nothing."

Those were the facts, yes.

Sean kept going. "The dahaka is here because of the vampires. They're obviously trying to capture it or kill it, and so far they've screwed this up royally in every way possible. The least your guest can do is to explain why. For all we know, the vampires could've triggered this entire situation. Maybe they bombed the dahaka's planet into the Stone Age or killed his sensei or whatever, and now he's looking for justified revenge while you're wiping sweat off Arland's brow and fetching him tea."