“How was Jude?” she asked, picking up on my stalling tactics.
“He was…” I sighed, replaying the weekend. A lot of highs and lows. “He was Jude,” I settled on.
“Roller coaster Jude,” Indie said, making a mm-mm-mmm sound with her mouth. “Now, honey, that’s one ride I’d never want to get off.”
“I know,” I said, starting to feel dizzy from the spinning. “I don’t want to either.”
“Then what’s the problem?”
“The problem is the roller coaster,” I said. “We’re either on top of the world or knocking on hell’s door. There’s no in between. No breathing room. Just constant up and down at one hundred miles per hour.”
It always felt good talking with India about my concerns with Jude’s and my relationship. She never judged, just gave solid advice.
“I know, Lucy,” she said, shifting in her seat, “but your man’s a passionate person. Just like you are. If the two of you are together, you’ve got to accept the roller coaster as a way of life. You wouldn’t want him to change who he is any more than he’d want you to change. The drastic ups and downs will be what spending your life with Jude will be like. That’s a fact. You just have to ask yourself if it’s worth it. Is what the two of you have together worth the sacrifice?” Her eyes narrowed on me, driving the message home.
I knew she was right, and I knew it was worth it, but I was human and couldn’t help but want the unattainable. “I just wish I could trade in the roller coaster for a carousel. Able to anticipate what was around every corner, making the journey with less dramatic ups and downs.”
“I get that,” India said, nodding her head, “but that’s not the hand you were dealt, baby. Jude was the hand you were dealt, and that man is no carousel, Lucy. That man is the super-duper-looper, Six Flags, knee-trembling roller coaster extraordinaire.” She sucked in a breath, out of it after that deposition.
“I know,” I admitted, already feeling better.
Jude was a roller coaster—I was a roller coaster. Together we created that super-duper-looper thing. It was scary, standing on the ground and looking up at it, but if that’s the ride I had to take to be with Jude, I’d be first in line.
“Hey, thank your stars your man ain’t no kiddie bumper cars,” India added, taking another puff before blowing out a smoke ring. “I dated a man once who was like that. The man who is solely responsible for why I don’t date any more. He even made love like the damn kiddie cars. Bump. Sputter, sputter,” India sat up, jolting back and forth. “Bump. Sputter, sputter.” I started laughing, watching her acting out the scene. “Bump. Sputter, sputter. Bump. Fizzle.” Curling her nose, she groaned, collapsing back into the chair.
Our laughter blended down the hall with Mr. Marley.
“Great practice today Lucy,” Thomas said, coming up behind me as I walked out of the auditorium doors.
“Well, it helps my partner is one hell of a dancer,” I said, nudging him as I wrapped my scarf around my neck.
It was the Wednesday before Thanksgiving and the New York weather was already bringing it on. What had possessed a girl who believed sun was essential to life to go to school in a place where the winters ran frigid and long?
My pointes bounced against my body as I walked, reminding me why.
“Yeah, so, your boyfriend,” Thomas started, looking uneasy just speaking about Jude, “does he know we’re partners for the winter recital?”
Poor Thomas. He was a dancer, not a fighter. I would be scared out of my tights too if I was supposed to be lifting by the crotch the girlfriend of a boy who packed a mean punch.
“Not yet,” I said, throwing my cap on too. I would be living in a state of hat hair from now until May.
Thomas cleared his throat, fidgeting with the strap of his backpack. “Are you planning on telling him?”
“Of course,” I said, turning towards my dorm. I still had to finish one more assignment before the end of the day and the sooner I tucked myself into bed, the sooner Jude would be here in the morning to spend four whole days together. India was flying back home to her parents’ place outside of Miami, so we’d have the whole room to ourselves.
I wasn’t planning on leaving it once. That’s what delivery was for.
“When?”
I shrugged. I hadn’t really given it much thought. “This weekend, I guess.”
“Okay,” Thomas said. “I just want to be prepared. It’s probably for the best he knows sooner rather than later. Will make the shock a little less… extreme.”