Shudder.
“Holly,” I said, “I’m not taking my underwear off. End of story.”
“Oh, yes, you damn well are,” she fired back. “End of story.”
I opened my mouth to volley back, but nothing came out. It was hard work making a logical argument against this kind of insanity.
“Lucy, you want to rub Adriana Vix’s perfect little face in her own pile of shit, you’ve got to have as many tricks in your bag as she does. Because I know her type and they play dirty. And they’re relentless little hoe-bags.”
Marching over towards me, she rammed her fists on her hips. “Trick number one: your hot little number,” she started, waving her hands down my dress. “Trick number two: you’re going to give Jude a pair of lidded bedroom eyes across the room any time he looks your way. Trick number three: you’ll be gracious and flattered when the droves of guys line up around you to drive him nuts,”—Holly must not have experienced Jude’s wrath if she thought any guy within the state would make a pass at me with Jude in the same room—”and trick number four”—she wagged her brows at me—”Adriana comes within an arm’s length of him, you nonchalantly slip those panties into his hand and walk away.”
For a crazy person, she made a lot of sense.
She waited while I worked all this out in my head. Finally, accepting she’d thought this out and any plan was better than no plan, I hitched my dress up and worked my panties down my legs. Thank the maker I’d selected a minuscule lacy pair that would drive Jude crazy.
Balling them up in my fist, I held it in front of her. “And where am I supposed to keep these while I’m waiting for the perfect time to slip them into his hand?”
She hadn’t thought out everything.
Rolling her eyes like I knew nothing, she fished them out of my hand and stuffed them between my cleavage.
“There,” she said, patting my boobs. “You’re good to go.”
“So glad you’re here, Holly,” I said, combing my fingers through my hair and trying the flip and tease thing she was such a fan of. “To make me paranoid I’m about to lose my boyfriend to the likes of Adriana Vix.”
“That’s not what I’m saying, Lucy Larson,” she said, looking offended. “I know how Jude feels about you. That kind of crazy love runs deep, babe. He’s not going anywhere.” Opening Jude’s door, she motioned me out. “It’s not him I’m worried about. It’s that Vix bitch. That breed of woman has made an art form out of manipulating men before they even know how their pants wound up around their ankles. They’re dangerous, so the sooner you show her she’s not getting her claws into your man’s back, the sooner she can move on to the next couple she wants to tear apart.”
I sucked in a breath. I was going to need it. “All right, let’s do this.”
“There’s the spirit,” she said, smacking my backside as I passed her. “Time to drive Jude mad.”
The music started pumping as we passed down the hall. Of course it was some bad brand of hip-hop that vibrated the floor boards.
“I know you’ve got a streak of diva in you, Lucy,” Holly said as we rounded the corner to the stairs. “But tonight, I need you to set that diva free. Let her be all she can be. Got it?”
“Got it,” I said, surveying the room that was already two times past max capacity and the football team wasn’t even here yet.
Winding our way through the flood of bodies, I saw that Holly’s impromptu makeover was effective. Every male within a few body radius turned to watch us as we slid by.
“Hey, asshole!” Holly hollered behind me. “Keep your hands to yourself unless you want me to chop them off while you sleep!”
The offender raised his hands and backed away.
So maybe she’d been a little too effective.
“This is good!” she shouted above the music, grabbing my arm and pulling me to a stop. “The first thing Jude will see is you when he comes through that door.”
“You really have thought this through,” I said, telling myself the guy beside me wasn’t purposefully brushing up against me.
“Location, location, location,” she quoted, smoothing my dress down before lifting my boobs higher.
The mouth of the guy behind Holly dropped.
“Stop,” I demanded, shooing her hands that were now molding my boobs into position.
“Fine,” she said, giving them one final pop. “Just remember. The diva to end all divas. And slip those panties into his hand the first time Vix tries something.”