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Clang(33)

By:E. Davies


"Drop it there. I'll pick it up later."

Jerry sneered, and there was that ugly mask he'd worn that day while  kicking the gay out of Chase. Chase sneered right back in recognition.

Jerry's hand crumpled around the page, crushing it into a tight ball in  his hand. He didn't look away for a second, letting Chase know that this  was punishment. As always, Luke was his trump card  –  the ace he had up  his sleeve to make Chase come crawling back.

This time, Chase wasn't rooted to the spot. In fact, he wanted to come  around the counter and punch him. How dare he destroy his little  brother's letter after trying to claim that he cared about him? It was  fucking transparent now.

"It makes me sick that you keep trying to use Luke and Buddy to  manipulate me," Chase snapped. He lowered his voice to make sure Jerry  had to strain to hear him. "I love him a lot, and I hope things go well  for him, if that's even possible. And I'll try to help him out of there,  too, when he's eighteen and I can talk to him again."

"You think we're just going to let you go, son?"

"I'm not your son," Chase spat out. "And yeah, you will leave me alone. I  work with a lot of needles, and at home, I've got more medieval sharp  things around."

"What?"

Chase's hands shook, but he pulled himself away from the counter as if  to step around it. "I'll defend myself this time, however I have to."  Chase smiled bitterly and jutted his chin out. He knew what would fuck  with Jerry's head. "Do not think that I came to bring peace on the  earth; I did not come to bring peace, but a sword."

For the first time in his memory, Jerry looked unnerved enough to take a  step back. Just one, but it was enough to bolster Chase's confidence.  His hands still shook, but his heart burned.

"How dare you?" Jerry whispered.

Do not fear those who kill the body but are unable to kill the soul; but  rather fear him who is able to destroy both soul and body in hell.  Another quote from that same chapter filled Chase's mind. A Biblical  verse was the last thing he'd expected to give him a sense of utter  calm, but Chase wasn't questioning it.

The fear quelled away to nothing, that left space for a shudder of rage  to course through Chase. He wasn't frozen now; he was white-hot in  anger. He was the metal freshly drawn from Jackson's forge.

"You're going to hell," Jerry breathed out, his voice a taunt and a threat, not a warning.

Rather than dread and anguish, Chase just felt bitter satisfaction.  "Good. All the best people will be there, and hopefully you won't be.  Or, if God is good, you will be. I can't wait to see you there."

Jerry's eyes narrowed in that hideous anger. Chase stood tall as he  walked out from around the counter, his fists near his sides. "Get out.  Don't ever, ever approach or communicate or talk to me again. The same  goes for my parents so long as they blindly swallow what they're told.  Tell Luke and Buddy I love them, if you have any shred of conscience  left. And get... the fuck... out of Fredericton."

Jerry hauled back and Chase tensed. Rather than a fist, a wad of paper  –   Luke's letter  –  hit Chase's chest and bounced to the ground. Chase  stood firm and didn't flinch.         

     



 

He could never remember Jerry being the first to back down. Ever. And  the way Jerry watched him... He saw him as a man now, not a kid in need  of taming.

"You uttered a threat. I'll call the cops on you."

"Fine," Chase told him. "But not the ones here, because you're on your  way out of town, right?" he taunted. "I don't care if you get the whole  Ontario RCMP out looking for me, 'cause I'm not going back there for  love nor money. I don't have anything there for me."

"Your family--"

"I don't have one," Chase told him, his voice harsher. Jerry recoiled again, and Chase jutted his chin out. "Now leave."

There were a few long seconds of silence. Jerry stepped back and gripped  the door handle. "You can't take this back. Even if you repent, you  will never be welcome on the MacLeod doorstep again, Charles."

"Good," Chase told him, and he meant it. He might be shaking, his  stomach might be sick from anxiety, but he was free. "Because I'm not a  MacLeod, or a Charles, anymore. And I'm a better man for it, and a  thousand times happier. I'm not there yet, but I'm getting better."

And it was true. Chase's chest swelled with pride in himself, for the  first time he could remember. He was getting better. He was slowly  working on it. And even drunk as a skunk, high off the music, fucking  strangers in their backseats, he'd been far happier than he ever had  been back there.

"Goodbye." Jerry's voice was empty as he turned his back and yanked open the shop door.

Chase kept his fists ready, just in case this was a feint, but there was  a finality to Jerry's voice. There was a complete shutdown in emotion  and recognition that he'd never heard before. It was like Jerry was  talking to a stranger, not his own nephew. "Goodbye."

Jerry strode down the street without a backwards glance.

For a long minute, Chase just stood there, his chest rising and falling rapidly.

All it had taken, all this time, was to threaten his uncle with a sword?  Finally, he started to laugh at that bizarre fact  –  at how over-the-top  it was, how fucking weird his life was. He sank into a waiting area  chair, still laughing so hard he doubled over on his knees, tears  stinging his eyes.

A sword. A fuckin' sword. He'd threatened to fuckin' stab his uncle with  a medieval weapon he'd promised Jackson not to use! One he didn't even  own yet  –  that wasn't even forged yet! And tattoo machine needles!

The hysterical laughter he couldn't stop was the kind came with utter,  absolute closure, with emotion he hardly knew how to process. He latched  onto the weirdest thing he could think of  –  that goddamn sword  –  and  laughed until he cried.

It took Chase a few minutes before he could breathe again, still doubled over on his knees.

"He who has lost his life for my sake will find it." He licked his lips  as he straightened up, then tried to dismiss the verses from his head.

Finally, his eyes were drawn to the wad of paper on the floor. He forced  himself to get up and scoop up the paper, then walked over to the  counter to smooth it out.

It wasn't a letter at all, but a crayon drawing, slightly better than  stick figures but not advanced yet. One man had too-long arms and legs  and colorful scrawls across them. The other figure next to him was  shorter and had curly black hair  –  just like Luke always drew himself.  They both smiled.

Chase's eyes were drawn to the background, and their family church  standing in the background. The cross on the roof overshadowed the rest  of the drawing.

"Oh, Luke," he murmured, rubbing a thumb along the lines. "Church isn't  the only road to salvation." His brother was young; he had years to  learn that. Chase prayed he'd be able to find some way to help him along  in the next eight years, before he was free from their family.

Chase bit his lip hard and folded the page, tucking it into his pocket.  He could see customers approaching from across the street, and he had to  be normal. Somewhat normal, at least. At least he wasn't distraught  like he'd once thought he would be in this moment.

He was just... empty.

If this was a victory, why did it feel so much like losing?



By the time the customers were gone, Chase's heart rate had steadied and  he felt almost dizzy. The stress of the last few days was gone. Instead  of relief, it left him feeling anxious. It was like he needed something  to worry about instead.

He pulled out his phone to send Jackson a text.

Jerry came in & I talked to him. He should leave me alone now.

Jackson's response came before he could even put his phone away.

I'll pick you up after work. 5?

Chase smiled to himself. Jackson was worried for his safety, but he  didn't have to be. Chase had this weird feeling that... that was it.  Jerry had never sounded that final.         

     



 

Yep 5. OK.

He went to tuck his phone away again and his finger brushed a sharp  corner in his pocket. When he pulled out the business card, his eyebrows  raised.

He needed to do laundry. But more than that, this must have been the  pair of jeans he was wearing the day Alex had come in to confess what  he'd done.

And suddenly, Chase had an idea what he could do for him.

Alex picked up right away. "Hello?"

"This is Chase. About that favor..."

Alex rustled in the background and then paid attention. "Yes?"

"My uncle, Jerry MacLeod, came to find me. Make sure he's left town for good, and that nobody else is coming."

"Okay, I can do that." Alex was already typing in the background. "Er, Chase?"

"Yeah?"

"Thank you for letting me help out. I... This is the least I can do."