“Layla, it’s really good sex with someone who is, for better or worse, a part of our circle. Trust me, I have zero room to judge anyone, but if something happens, something bad and this doesn’t work out, it could complicate an already weird situation.” Layla frowned, not certain what point Mollie was slowly meandering toward, but her best friend knew Layla better than anyone. She must have caught that confused expression and hurried to explain herself. “Quinn being here, messing up our little dynamic; Sayo struggling with her cousin’s illness and now this? Did you ever consider what Declan would do to Donovan if he finds out? I know you said you don’t love him, but you have to at least care about him a little if you’re sharing naked time with him. You really want Declan kicking his ass?”
“It’s not Deco’s business.”
“Yeah and when has that ever stopped him from bullying his way into everyone’s relationships? They’re best friends, honey and if Donovan so much as thinks about screwing you over, Declan will go at him. It won’t be pretty. More to the point, something that doesn’t make sense to me is that you have hated Donovan for so long. I mean, I know we picked on you two about all the ridiculous pranking but how do you go from hating him one minute, to sleeping with him the next?”
“It just sort of happened.”
“That’s the thing, honey. You are not a ‘just sort of happened’ kind of chick.” Mollie had kept her voice even, the shock and anger completely gone as she’d brushed Layla’s hair off her face. “You want the fairytale. You always have. Since you were fourteen, Layla, you talked about the ridiculous girly romancey type things. Will Donovan give that to you? Do you want him to?”
“No… I… I don’t think so.”
“Then why are you giving yourself to him when you know it doesn’t mean anything to him? And I know you, Layla. You’ve been my best friend since we were middle schoolers. This means something to you.” Mollie had stopped Layla’s protest with a quick wave of her hand. “Even if you don’t see it, this thing with Donovan, means something. You deserve the fairytale.”
She’d known Mollie was right. It was a fact in Layla’s daily life that Mollie had an annoying tendency to always be right. Layla thought she wanted the hearts and flowers and love and romance bullshit. She wanted someone to treasure her, to think she was precious. She wanted all those things still, but God help her, she didn’t know if she could walk away from Donovan. She didn’t think she had the strength to stop going to him.
But she knew she had to try. “It’s just sex,” she told herself, promising that this would be the very last time. She’d listen to Mollie, she really would, after tonight, after one last taste of his body and feel of his hands. It would be a parting, a goodbye and Layla had no intention this time of leaving without a good-bye kiss.
Donovan loved the way her hips curved into her waist and how easily his hand fit right in that spot. He liked her hair falling down between her shoulder blades and the subtle dip of her back, the muscles he had kissed over and over and how she responded to each touch. But tonight she sat too stiffly on his bed, body rigid, the tension of her day working into her shoulders.
“I should go,” she said, moving her neck to stretch the strain that had built up. “I don’t know why I bothered coming here.”
He heard the fight dying in her voice, those excuses she made to convince herself he wasn’t good enough for her. But she had come, like she had every night for weeks, and in the low whisper of her words and the weak grip Layla held on her denial that she liked Donovan, he heard the small request that he take away the things she didn’t want clouding her mind.
“You’re here because no one else is.” Donovan came behind her, took her hair between his fingers but did not pull it or use it to direct her movement. His fingers were gentle, slow and the closer his touch came to her shoulders, to lowering the zipper at her back of her shirt, that stiff bearing in her shoulders fell, loosening the tension from her muscles. “You’re here because in this room, it’s just the two of us, just our skin.” She didn’t fight him as he lowered her shirt, as her bra loosened hook by hook with a slow twist of Donovan’s fingers. “You’re here because this is where we hide from the fuckers who try to control us.” A kiss, a graze of his teeth against her shoulder and Layla leaned back, letting Donovan push her onto the mattress. “You’re here, Layla, because your body wants mine, because when I’m inside you, the world stops spinning.”