She got him situated on the couch, found the scotch he liked, poured a healthy glass for him, and brought it back. When she got back, he was sitting with his forearms resting on his knees, his head hanging between them.
"Here, Quinn, drink this." She tried to hand him the drink. He looked at her and then the glass.
"No. No alcohol, no drugs. Just you." Then he put his head back down. Kara set down the glass before she dropped it. Never had she seen such a look of desolation on Quinn's face.
"Quinn, you're scaring me. You have to tell me. Please, it's not Ben, is it?"
Quinn jerked his head up and grabbed both of her hands. "I'm an ass. I'm sorry, Kara. Ben is fine. I'm so sorry, baby." Quinn pulled her into his arms, and she melted. She had been more scared than she had admitted to herself.
"Tell me, Quinn. What's going on?"
"Please, let me hold you for a little longer. It hurts so damn bad, and this makes it better." What could Kara possibly say to that? She just held this strong man more tightly. She racked her brain. Ben had been up in Sitka for three days. Quinn was captaining the boat, doing charters here in Fate Harbor. Could something have happened to their mom? But why was Quinn here, and not on a plane to Sitka? Kara couldn't stop her mind from racing.
"Baby, whatever you need." Quinn gripped her tighter. Then she felt a huge shudder go through his body, and it made her want to just hold him forever. He burrowed his face into the crook of her neck, and she could feel the deep breaths he was taking, as if he found her smell soothing in some sense. She didn't say anything, just let him hold her, and she ever so gently started to sway as she stroked gently down his back. She finally felt him begin to calm, his breathing evening out.
"Can you tell me?" she whispered into the shell of his ear. He pulled back. His face was ravaged by tears.
"Tim tried to commit suicide last night. He's in a coma. The doctors don't think he'll live." Quinn's voice broke, and they both reached for each other at the same moment. He dropped his head onto her breast, and she wrapped him into her warm embrace, offering succor. "God, Kara, I've got to go up there and be strong for everyone, and I just can't do it." His voice was muffled but she heard him and her heart ached for him.
"How can I be the strong one? How can I possibly offer advice and comfort, when I failed Tim, when I destroyed what we had, when I hurt the woman I loved? Name one thing I've done right? How can I possibly help my family, when I've done nothing right?" She heard his voice break on those last words. All she could do was hold him. She'd never wanted him to hurt this badly, but she'd always known that trying to hold up the entire world had to be crushing him.
"I'm here, Quinn. I'm here, baby. What can I do?" She continued to run her fingers through his crisp hair and stroke down his back, worried about the amount of heat he was putting off.
"I don't know, Kara. I don't even know why I came here. It just hurt so much, and I just knew that if I came here, I'd feel better." Kara's heart went out to him. In all the time she'd known him, he'd never reached out to someone else for comfort. He was the one who provided it. He didn't even realize that was what he was doing. Kara felt her heart blossom like the bud of a rose seeing sun for the first time. He needed her. He was reaching out to her.
"Have you arranged for a flight up to Sitka?" she asked quietly.
"Ben's going to arrange it. Before he does, I want to ask you if you will come with me. Please, Kara."
She tightened her hold on him. "Of course, I'll come with you." She kissed the top of his head.
"The first flight out is tomorrow morning."
"You're going to stay here tonight." Kara stroked her hands down his arms and pulled out of his hold. She kissed his temple, then his cheek, until she was looking deeply into his eyes. "Baby, let me give Ben a call, and tell him to arrange for both of us to fly up, okay?" She hated seeing such a dazed look on his face, but she needed to make the call. She leaned him against the sofa and got her cell phone. Ben picked up on the first ring.
"Kara, is Quinn with you?" Ben sounded stressed and frantic.
"Yeah, he's here at my house."
"Thank God."
"Why don't you let me book the flights, Ben?"
"That'd be great." Kara could hear the relief in his voice. "Are you coming?"
"Definitely. How's Timothy doing?"
"They say if he makes it through the night, he'll have a better shot." She heard his voice break.
"Oh, Ben, I'm so sorry. I'll be there as fast as I can."
"Just take care of Quinn, will you? I'm okay, I have the rest of my family with me, but Quinn's alone. I know he's taking this hard, like it's his fault. He wasn't listening to me, Kara. Please, try to tell him that Tim's girlfriend broke up with him. That's why he did this. The drug counselor said that he's more susceptible to depression than most people. Between that and the breakup it put Tim over the edge. This had nothing to do with Quinn. Please, try to make him understand."
"I'll try, Ben," Kara promised. "Please, hug your mother for me, and tell her we'll be there soon. I love you, Ben."
"I love you, too, Kara. Thank you for coming. Thank you for taking care of Quinn."
"I love him, too."
"I know you do," Ben whispered. "Look, somebody will be there to pick you up. I've got to go."
"I understand, love." Kara couldn't stop the tears. It seemed like this family kept taking hits, and it just wasn't fair. She looked over at the couch, and Quinn was where she had left him, leaning back with his eyes closed. She went over to her laptop and arranged for the tickets. She took her cell phone and went to her bedroom to call Eric. She told him the situation and asked him to take care of Butch and Sundance.
"Jesus, Kara, they can't seem to catch a break."
"I know," she said tiredly.
"You know his inclination is going to be to push you away. He's going to want to take care of everything himself. He can't help it, it's the older brother protective gene. I've got it, too."
"I think he's getting over it. He came here when he found out."
"That's huge!"
"Yeah."
"When are you leaving?"
"Our flight's at seven tomorrow morning."
"Do you need a ride?"
"No, I'm taking the Bronco. Quinn's not up for extra company right now."
"Understood. We've got Butch and Sundance covered. Is there anything else you need?"
"I'll call if I think of anything. Quinn might need some things done with the boats."
"Not a problem. I'm sure Mr. Burke will help out."
"Thanks, Eric. Can you tell Mom and the dads?"
"You got it. You take care. I love you."
"Back at you." Kara hung up and turned off her phone, then went out to the living room. Quinn opened his eyes and looked at her. She walked over to him and held out her hand. He just stared at it.
"Come with me, baby. Let's get you into bed."
"I can't sleep, Kara."
"I just want to hold you, okay?"
"If I lose Tim, this is going to kill me, and I just think I'm going to be too much of a burden." He took her hand and got off the couch. She led him down the hall to her bedroom. As soon as they stepped over the threshold, she turned to him, wrapping her arms around his neck. He gripped her tightly in return. She didn't know how long they stood that way, but finally, he pulled back.
"If this were one of my brothers, would you want to be here for me? Would you think I'm weak because I would need to lean on you?" Kara asked in a gentle voice.
"I always want to be the one you can come to," Quinn said as he rested his forehead against hers. Kara stroked her hand against his cheek.
"That's how I feel. That's what I want. That's what I've always wanted in our relationship. I've wanted us to be there for one another. It doesn't make either one of us weak. It makes us both stronger because we're holding each other up. Ben told me that you've been relying on him. I just wanted to know that you would come to me, as well." Kara's voice broke. She just hated that it was yet another tragedy for this family that was getting them finally where they needed to be.
"We're leaving on the first plane tomorrow morning. I promise we'll get there in time. You know Tim will find a way to pull through. As upset as he is, he'll remember deep down that he can't hurt his family this way. He'll remember and he'll fight. I talked to Ben. You know why Tim did this, don't you, baby?" Kara looked at Quinn and saw his confused expression. She could see that Ben's earlier words hadn't gotten through. "Tim's girlfriend just broke up with him. He just couldn't handle it. But he has his family. We're going to get there in time," she promised, praying that she was right.