"There is a drastic difference that you haven't realized in the dynamics of our relationship this time, Kachawli," Ben drawled as he smoothed his hand up and down her arm. Quinn intently watched every move his brother made, reassured when Kara didn't seem to object to his touch. She still didn't seem to be responding the way she once did, which made him sad. So much of this whole situation made him sad, because he realized he was the one who had created the mess by not listening and understanding.
He'd called his mother last week and told her everything. Explaining how he had chosen not to burden Kara with the same kind of worries that she had gone through with Papa. His ears were still ringing from the high-decibel lecture he had received. The quote that resonated with him was that she would have "kicked Eddie's ass into next year, if he had made that kind of decision for me." After she calmed down, she admitted that he had looked at things from the eyes of a child, and she should have done a better job of explaining things to him.
Between Mama, Ben, and Kara, he realized that his protective streak, which he always thought was a good thing, might be something that was really a way to keep people at a distance. If he was busy protecting them, then he wasn't really allowing them to be true partners with him, and was that what he truly wanted in a lifetime commitment? He knew Ben was always going to be his brother, but if they married Kara, they were going to be more than brothers. They were going to be in a marriage together, they were going to be in a triad, and that meant they needed to be equals. And, like his mother, Ben was going to "kick his ass into next week" if he screwed up again. Quinn grinned as he found himself really begin to relax for the first time since his dad died. Having two strong people like Kara and Ben as partners would be wonderful.
He hadn't realized he'd been looking out over the water until he looked back at the chair and found Kara and Ben kissing.
* * * *
She felt different in his arms, and it wasn't just the new lush curves. Ben had loved her long, lithe body before, but the bounty of warm, opulent woman who filled his lap and pressed against his burgeoning erection aroused him even more. He'd make sure she ate at least two cinnamon rolls every day for life if her ass stayed this luscious.
Her lips even felt different, or maybe it was the emotion behind the kiss. Before she had been so open and welcoming, but now she was tentative and shy. He found himself having to slowly coax her and he found it extremely moving. He undid the loose knot he had earlier tied in her hair so that he could run his fingers through the cool silk. The texture of her hair was so different from his. Every part of her was soft and feminine and he reveled in it. He let his left hand continue to weave through the strands of white-gold, and brought his right hand to her face so that he could brush caresses against her cheek. Lightly, ever so lightly, he stroked the soft flesh, tempting her jaw to relax so that her mouth would open and let him in. He felt her sigh and part her lips, and as he brushed the tip of his tongue along the inside of her lower lip, her flavor exploded across his senses, setting every nerve on fire. At last, he had his Kara back.
Ben was careful. He knew that she was still wary. He couldn't blame her. He knew that out of the three of them, he was truly to blame, and it was up to him to rectify the situation. It was clear to him, after her admissions last night, that she was unable to sleep with anyone unless she felt a profound emotional commitment to them. She might have intended to be intimate with Jim, but Ben would have bet his last dollar that even if Jim hadn't fucked up, it wouldn't have happened.
With that in mind, he decided that instead of continuing the slow and painful process of trying to wheedle their way back into her good graces, he was going to start with a physical seduction to worm his way back into her heart. Kara wouldn't share intimacy with him and Quinn unless she was partway in love with them, and once they got her in their bed, Ben was positive that they could get her to fall back in love with them, all the way.
All of these thoughts washed away as Kara hesitantly pushed her tongue into his mouth. Nirvana. Ben's erection that had been pulsing since Kara had first settled her heart-shaped ass onto his lap was now being scraped to death by the zipper of his jeans. Kara must have felt it, because she wiggled and pressed even closer as her tongue thrust further into his mouth. He felt sweat beading on his forehead.
The chair was big. It allowed the fishermen to move around while they fought to reel in their larger catches. Ben leaned back, breaking the kiss.
"Straddle me, Kachawli," he breathed close to her lips, unwilling to part more than an inch from the heaven of her kiss. Kara looked at him, dazed and unmoving. He easily picked her up from his lap and positioned her so that her knees were on either side of his thighs and her denim-covered pussy was now flush against his denim-covered cock. It was torture. It was sublime. Her blue eyes looked at him, really looked at him.
"You want more than sex, don't you, Ben?" It was a trick question. He wasn't going to fall for it.
"I want you, Kara, any way I can have you. What way can I have you? Tell me?" Long moments passed, and he heard the lap of the water against the hull of the boat. She looked away from him, over at the water, at the horizon. He didn't know what she was staring at. Maybe she was seeing something that could only be seen by that artist's brain of hers. She turned back to him, and her eyes were so dilated they were almost black with want. Her fingers trembled as they reached out to touch his cheeks, tracing the grooves on each side of his mouth, grooves that only she and his mother had ever called dimples.
"I want you, too, Ben. But it's like it was at the very first, when I thought nothing more was ever going to come of it. I just don't think anything more is ever going to come of this, and I guess I do care too much about you not to be honest."
Ben reached up to stroke her cheek. He couldn't resist touching that soft, velvety-white skin. She smiled and leaned into his touch. "Thank you for caring enough to be honest." Thank you for caring. Ben knew not to press for anything more. If he made her think too much she'd back off.
Ben brought one of her hands to his lips and whispered a soft kiss into the palm. "Is this just about me, or is this about both of us?" He could feel his brother's laser focus on Kara's answer from here. Like Ben, he wasn't showing his need. Quinn was waiting for Kara's tentative steps toward him.
"I'm not scared of you anymore. I believe you didn't mean to hurt me. But I don't feel the same way I used to, and I don't want to lead you on."
"You're not. You're being honest, it's one of the things that I've always found so attractive about you." Ben pressed another kiss into her palm, a reward for her honesty.
"To tell you the real truth, after all those dates, I'm thinking that it's just not in the cards for me."
"What's not in the cards?" Ben cuddled her closer, feeling that they both needed the intimacy for this conversation.
"Having what my parents have, having a family."
Ben hated hearing the dejection in her voice. "Any man would be lucky to have you." He winced when she arched her eyebrow at him. "We told you, we always planned to make a life with you."
"Yeah, well, that's all water under the bridge. Right now, I just want to grab what I can. You're the only men that I've ever truly desired. I've so missed that closeness." With that, she laid her head on his chest and seemed to melt into his body. She was everything that was soft and good and yielding. He looked over at Quinn, who had a contented smile on his face. Ben completely understood. If the positions were reversed, he would be just as happy for his brother, realizing that they were making headway with their woman.
"Since you're being honest, we need to be honest, too. We got you drunk last night," Ben said quietly as he stroked his hand down her back, enjoying the feel of her silky hair beneath his touch.
"Well, duh. I have had a Colorado Bulldog before." She snickered softly into his chest. "You guys are easy. Do you not think I've gone out drinking with the girls? I can handle my liquor. I was just mildly buzzed. I ended up falling asleep because I hadn't slept for the three nights before coming to paint, because I was so stressed out."
Kara turned her head when Quinn laughed.
"I'm sorry seeing us was so stressful that you couldn't sleep." Ben continued to stroke her hair. He wasn't quite sure who was being soothed, him or Kara.
"I'm not sure stressful is the right word, maybe antsy. Look, you guys. Let me be clear, I'm sitting here, snuggled up on Ben's lap. I am so going to have sex with you, but that's all it's going to be. I'm not going to put my heart on the line with you again and risk having you trounce on it. I just can't do it."