"Hey, Munchkin, it seems like your doctor friend isn't too keen on your old men," Papa Conn said.
"Way to go for the jugular, Conn." Ilsa elbowed her husband in his side, while Leif, Sr. glared at him.
"Honey, are you all right? Do you want to leave? This just seems like a lot to have to deal with. We can take you home," Leif, Sr. said. He put his arm around her shoulders, hugging her close and helping to buffer against the rest of the people in the room. How did he know exactly what she needed?
"Your mom is right. I'm sorry I was an ass. It's just that you asked us to have an open mind, and I tried. But he didn't, so I'm done. He's an ass. So, let us take you home, Kara." Her papa stroked his fingers down her cheek.
"I'm not mad at you. You didn't hurt my feelings. You're right, he's an ass, but I'm still going to use him. I need a buffer," she said in a low voice.
"Oh, Kara, you're just going to make things worse if you play games," Ilsa warned.
"I don't think they can get much worse, at the moment."
"Look at it this way, kiddo. According to Trixie you've sold almost seventy percent of the show, you've got three men drooling over you, and a family falling all over itself trying to make sure you're happy. I'd say you're looking at it from the wrong perspective. Your glass is half-full." Kara leaned in even closer to Leif, Sr. He was right. She was totally blessed by her family, even her obnoxious brothers. But when it came to considering the three men in her life, not so much.
"Are you sure you don't want to come home with us? I think it's going to be busy at your house tonight, honey," Ilsa cautioned.
"Not if they know what's good for them, it won't be," Kara snarled. Then she made the mistake of looking over at the group of tall men standing a few yards away. Quinn was talking to Leif, but Ben was staring intently at her. She shifted the glass in her hand and realized it was empty. Where was that winking waiter when you needed him? God, Ben's gaze was compelling. It was obvious he had no intention of leaving without being heard.
Then Quinn must have felt something because he broke off mid-conversation with Leif and turned to look at her. Kara felt herself tremble. Quinn didn't just plan to be heard. Conquer. It was a hard word, with two harsh-sounding syllables and consonants that resounded in her head. There wasn't a doubt in her mind that she was reading him correctly. She had a primal urge to turn to her parents and have them take her to their house. She shoved that urge down and stared fiercely back at Quinn. He could plan to conquer, to win all he wanted, but he wouldn't. She knew something he didn't.
She'd been hurt too badly to ever let them in again. She just didn't have it in her to try again. It didn't matter how much they might want to try-hell, it wouldn't even matter if she wanted to try again-she just didn't have the wherewithal. She was empty inside. That's why she wanted to make a life with a man she didn't love, because she didn't have any romantic love to give. It had all been used up. She gave him an unguarded look, no anger, no subterfuge, just the emptiness. She watched as his gaze changed to shock. She shrugged her shoulders and turned to find the waiter and track down her date. It was time to go home.
Chapter 10
"Kara, you must be walking on cloud nine." Jim reached over and put his hand high on her leg and gave it a squeeze as he drove the two-lane highway heading into Fate Harbor.
"Yep, the show did really well. Trixie will have everything calculated tomorrow." Kara was too numb to care about his hand.
"I was surprised at how many of my friends showed up. Apparently, you're a big name in the Seattle art world. I didn't realize." Dumbass. They'd been dating five weeks and he hadn't done a simple internet search.
"Yes, I really like Bob and Susan. I've met them a few times. I've met the Ledsons before, as well." His hand was creeping higher and now it was becoming annoying. "It seemed like you had a good time with my brothers this afternoon."
"They're great guys. I didn't realize they were fire jumpers."
"I had mentioned that, Jim." She couldn't help sounding annoyed.
"Oh, well I forgot. Anyway, I really enjoyed getting to know them."
"What did you think about the rest of my family?" Kara asked. "Did you enjoy getting to know them, too? Or did you feel too uncomfortable around them?"
"Kara, what are you talking about?"
"My parents, Jim. I'm talking about my parents."
"They seemed nice."
"Jim, you couldn't get away from them fast enough. When we had to leave, you didn't even shake hands with them, you just waved from a distance. What was your deal?"
Jim took his hand off her thigh and put it back up onto the steering wheel. "You're right, I did feel a little uncomfortable," he paused. "But really, Kara, can you blame me?"
"Yes, I can. I told you about it ahead of time. I asked you if it was going to be an issue before I introduced you. You assured me it wasn't. You're a grown man, you should have known your own mind. I trusted you not to make my parents feel uncomfortable. So, yes, Jim, I do blame you."
"I didn't think it would bother me. But then I saw them together, and it became real for me. Your mom has two husbands." He said it like she didn't know it, like he was telling her something new.
"Jesus, Jim, I told you stories about my life growing up with two fathers. What the hell do you mean that it just became real for you?" Kara could hear herself getting louder, but she couldn't stop herself.
"I think we have something really special. I think we're headed toward something permanent. Haven't you been on that page, too?"
"Yes, Jim, I've been thinking we might be headed toward something permanent, too."
"If we got married, we would end up moving to the suburbs of Seattle. So, how often are we really going to see your parents, anyway? Do my feelings really have to make a difference? Can't we just avoid seeing them? Do we have to let this come between us?"
Kara laughed for the first time since she had seen the men from Sitka. "Are you kidding me? My God, Jim, you don't know me at all, do you? This is most definitely going to come between us. As a matter of fact, there is no us. As far as I'm concerned, you're a bigot. Actually, you're worse, because you don't even see it."
"Kara, they've got you so damned brainwashed, you don't even know what's right and wrong." Jim was using the patient voice a parent would use with a child.
"This is not a matter of right and wrong. This is a matter of love. They love each other. That's what matters."
"Kara, it isn't just morally wrong. It's repugnant."
Kara looked at the man seated beside her. When he looked over at her, she could see that he was trying to make her understand. His hands were gripped tightly on the steering wheel.
"Did you just say repugnant?" She could barely keep her voice from screeching.
"Repugnant, icky, whatever you want to call it. It's all the same. It's just all wrong, and I don't want us around it, and I certainly won't want our children around it. Clearly, you can understand that."
"Stop the car."
"What?"
"Stop the car."
"Kara, be reasonable."
"Stop the god damn car, right fucking now!" They were in the middle of Main Street. It was one in the morning, and it was deserted.
"I'm not going to leave my date in the middle of nowhere, in the middle of the night. It's just not done."
"Right fucking now, or I'll rip the steering wheel out of your hand!" she snarled. He pulled over to the side of the road, where she ripped off the seatbelt and got out of the car.
"You're acting unreasonable," he said out of the driver's-side window as she stormed around the front of the car toward the sidewalk.
"This is my town, where my family is accepted, where I'm accepted. I feel safer in the middle of this deserted street than I do in your car. Go back to Seattle, Jim." She went and sat on the bench in front of Hart's Diner and stared at him. He must have seen the conviction in her eye, because he rolled up his window, pulled a U-turn, and drove back the way he had come.
Kara sat there and enjoyed the silence. She hadn't been kidding. She felt safe as a baby in her mother's arms. This was her town. She'd grown up here. She was safe. She needed some time to think. She was a little worried about who might be waiting at her house. So, sitting here seemed peaceful. The one little worry was that this was a main thoroughfare to get to all the outlying areas, so anyone who left the opening later than she and Jim would soon be passing by and seeing her.
However, she preferred not to leave it up to fate. Too many things had been out of her control as is, so if she could control this, she would feel better. Normally, Eric or Dane would be her first call, but they were definitely on her shit list. She wasn't going to call Leif, because he was still trying to find Isabella. He had interrupted his investigation just to come to her opening, which she really appreciated. Her mom and dads were out, just because she was thirty-one and it seemed like too much of a pussy move.