"Look at me, Kara." She turned her head, but her hair hid her face. He pulled it back, using it to turn her face toward him. She knew her expression was one of desperate want.
"Don't make me wait any longer. I promise to relax. I promise you won't hurt me. It only hurts when you make me wait."
She smiled as he smoothed a condom on and started the slow slide into Kara's cunt. He felt better than she remembered. She clutched at him, sucking him ever deeper and drawing him to the back of her channel so that he bottomed out as she gave a moan of satisfaction.
"Again, Ben, do it again."
He pulled out and slowly did it again. This time it took her two breaths before she could cry out for him to do it again. This time he pulled her head backward. He almost released her hair when she said, "Pull my hair, that feels so good." Thankful when he pulled on her hair harder, she snapped her hips back against him.
"Harder, Ben, I need to know we're together. I need to know this is real," she sobbed.
He let go of the shaft of hair, tangled his fingers near her scalp, and pulled. "God, yes," she exclaimed. He fell over her back and used his other hand to clasp her breast, to bring her closer to his chest. They pushed and pulled against one another, fighting to take each other to the pinnacle of pleasure, but also to ensure that they were together. They struggled to ensure they were no longer separate.
"Kara, my life was so dark without you." Ben managed to gasp the words.
"You're half my heart." She shuddered, and he pulled her closer, gentling his hold.
"No, don't stop, I need to feel your desire. I need to feel you wanting me. I have to know that this time I belong to you." Ben must have understood, because he reared back, pulling her head back by her hair, and she howled in pleasure. He swelled inside of her, and she tightened around him, and as one their releases rocketed through their bodies, leaving them on the floor in a breathless heap.
Quickly Ben realized he was still on top of Kara, and he rolled to his side, cuddling her front to back.
"So much for being careful," Quinn stated dryly. Neither of them had the breath to laugh. Kara fell asleep in bed with the two men she loved and prayed that this time things would work, hoping that her tenacity and loyalty would pay off.
Chapter 9
Kara was disoriented as she woke up to a pounding in her head. It was like she had a hangover, the pounding was so loud. There were tears on her pillow. It probably was a depression hangover, she guessed. She had them every time she dreamed of her days in Sitka. She pulled herself out of bed and stretched until finally the pounding stopped.
"Kara, we saw your car. We know you're home." Fuck, it was her brothers. Kara grabbed the coveralls off the floor and climbed into them, then flung open her bedroom door.
"I told you not to use the key when I'm home," she yelled back. She strode into the living room, not happy to see them.
"We come bearing gifts." Eric held up a pink bakery box. It just turned her stomach.
"You picked those up off the floor, didn't you? Geez Kara, don't you do laundry?" Dane asked as he took in her bedraggled appearance.
"Jesus, Dane, what's it to you?" Kara flopped onto the couch and eyed the two men invading her sanctuary. "I told you to only use the key when it's an emergency."
"It is an emergency." Eric set the pink box on her lap, and she set it beside her. The brothers looked at one another. "They're cinnamon rolls," Eric prompted.
"I'm not hungry."
Eric sat down and put his arm around Kara. "Honey, let's talk about this." She shook off his arm and stood up.
"Damn it, Kara, would you go back into your room and put on some clean clothes?"
"Dane, if you're telling me I'm a slob, I'm going to kick your ass!" Kara couldn't even work up a good head of steam to give her brother the smack upside the head that he deserved. Still, she couldn't let him get away with any slob comments.
"No, you're not a slob exactly. But Kara, it just scares me when I see you not taking care of yourself. It reminds me of the time five years ago, okay?" Dane's voice was quiet.
"Look, guys, I'm fine. I've got a show coming up. I've got a man in my life. I'm socializing. Hell, I was just over at Josie's babysitting." She gave Dane a reassuring smile. "I wasn't expecting company, so the laundry isn't done, okay?"
"Okay, sis," Dane said with an obvious sigh of relief.
Eric pushed at the box. "Don't you want your cinnamon rolls?"
"Not really."
"See! You are depressed," Dane exclaimed in a worried tone.
"Jesus, would you just cut a girl some slack?"
"These days you always eat."
Kara jabbed a finger in Dane's chest. "First I'm a depressed slob, now I'm fat. Get the fuck out of my house."
"I'm worried about you. This new guy isn't right for you, you know you're still in love with Ben and Quinn, that's why you're a mess," Dane shouted back.
"They left me! Just like I want you two to leave me. Right now." Kara new she was barely keeping it together.
"You know they had their reasons, especially Quinn." Eric got up off the couch and got in front of her. He was speaking quietly, trying to persuade her. "Everything he had worked for went down the drain when that boat sank. You were there when it happened. Lenny should never have taken it out in those rough waters."
"You're right, I was there. I asked to stay. I wanted to stay. I begged to stay. Eric, they had just recovered from the last crisis with Tim. He'd gotten out of detention services. Levi was physically okay and was walking just fine. Everything was fine, and the boat sank. Guess what, everything's going to be fine again, and then they'll take me back. Then guess what, life will happen again, and something will go wrong, and they'll say poor Kara needs to be protected and sent away. Well, fuck them."
"Kara, they were doing what they thought was right-" Eric started.
"Eric, let me make this simple. You're my brother, I need you to take my side." She stopped speaking and waited. Eric opened his mouth twice more, each time thinking better of it and closing it.
"You're right. I'm on your side, always."
"But, Kara, you can at least admit you understand where they were coming from, right?" Kara looked over at Dane in astonishment. "They had your best interests at heart."
Kara knew she was going to start crying and wanted to do it in private, so she decided to finally answer Dane's other issue.
"Okay, brother, I'll go put on a bra now, since I'm offending your sensitive sensibilities." She stormed off to her bedroom, where she immediately burst into quiet tears.
"Kara, please come back out. I promise Dane won't talk about them again." It was Eric.
"I promise not to be upset, even if you haven't put on a bra. Please, don't cry anymore."
God, she loved them, even when they were the biggest pains in the ass.
"Can't you go away?" She knew her voice was desperate.
"We really can't." Eric was speaking for the both of them again.
She left the bedroom and was confronted by two large chests. "Can you please move so I can go to the bathroom?" They quickly parted and let her go down the hall. She put a cold compress on her face, and then returned to the living room to see what they had to say.
"Are you really planning on marrying this doofus?" Dane asked.
"You haven't met him." Kara was so tired. She just didn't have the energy to fight about this.
"Everybody knows. You're forcing yourself to date him." God, she hated small towns. She knew this hadn't come from her parents, or from Leif. It had to have come from one of the women to their men, and then to Eric and Dane. "Butch and Sundance don't even like him," Dane said in disgust. Yep, she absolutely hated small towns.
"Not your business."
"You're our business, Kara. We love you. We want you to be happy," Eric said in a soft voice. "We don't want you to make a mistake. I understand now why you're done with those that will not be named, but I don't want you to go into a loveless marriage. I know you want kids, but do you want to raise children to think that it's okay for their parents not to be in love?" Fuck, he had a point.
She raised her chin. "He'll be at the opening on Saturday. Would you please do me the courtesy of meeting him? He's a good man. I need you to see the man I know. He's a good and decent man, that I truly believe I can make a very happy life with. He's caring and loving. There might not be passion, but there's a strong mutual respect. I think in time, passion and love can come. Please keep an open mind."
"That's a load of crap."
Kara glared at Dane.
"I'll keep an open mind," Eric promised, "if you'll keep an open mind about what I've said." Eric then smiled and winked at her. "I would say we, but Dane hasn't offered anything constructive to the conversation."