"Sounds like Little Miss really wants to be fed, so I've got to go. If I don't see you sooner for a cinnamon roll fix, I'll see you on Wednesday. I really appreciate the babysitting services, Kara, thanks a lot!" Josie said before she hung up.
"No worries, thank you for the ‘baby fix'!" Kara said before she hit the "end" button.
Chapter 6
"Kara, can you stir the gravy, honey?" Kara stopped shredding the lettuce and went over to the stove so she could stir the contents of the saucepan like her mother asked. Cooking wasn't her forte, but she loved being in the kitchen with her mom, helping out. They were down to placing the last items for the meal on the table, and everything was almost complete. But Kara always liked to stay the last few moments in the kitchen, to wrest as much quality time with her mom as possible before the mayhem ensued around the table. It was probably just a survival instinct since they were outnumbered by five other men in the family.
"Okay, the gravy's started to bubble, Mom. Now, what should I do?"
"Conn!" her mom called for one of her dads. A man the spitting image of Eric ambled through the swinging kitchen door and immediately deduced the dilemma, picking up the heavy saucepan.
"Where's the gravy boat?" he asked as Ilsa Johansen pulled it out of one of the cupboards. He poured the gravy into the container, then placed the pan back onto the stove. "Looks great, ladies," he said as he kissed each one on their cheeks. Both women gave the man a big hug. "Should I gather everyone?" he asked.
"Ten more minutes," Ilsa said.
"Gotcha, beautiful." He winked as he left the kitchen.
"Okay, honey, now it's just the salad, so we can have a glass of wine, and then have supper. I've missed you!" Her mother smiled at her. Kara looked at the woman who had raised her and realized that she had missed her, as well.
"I'm sorry, Mom. I have no idea why I haven't been over more often." Kara shook her head in surprise.
"I do," her mother stated firmly. "If you think about it, you would know why, too." She started chopping up the bell peppers and radishes that were going into the salad while Kara continued to shred the different lettuce and spinach leaves. Finally, she looked sideways at her mom.
"Seriously, I don't get it. Why do you think I haven't been over here?"
"It's been hurting you to see me with your dads, because it's what you had your heart set on with the Shotbrook brothers." And just like that, Kara had to work damn hard to fight back a sob. But there was no way to stop the flood of tears from falling. Her mom was there, just like she had always been, her rock, holding her. She thought she heard the sound of the swinging door, but nobody came in so she must have imagined it. She was safe in her mother's arms.
After five minutes, she was feeling a little better, at least well enough to grab a dishcloth out of the drawer to run cold water over it and put it on her face. Thank God she didn't normally wear make-up, otherwise everyone would know she'd been in here crying, and she just couldn't handle any awkward questions. Finally, she looked at her mom.
"So, how did you know?"
"You've become a serial dater. It's been entertaining, but it's so not you. In the beginning, you came over with such funny stories, but then you came over less and less, and you got sadder and sadder. Your fathers finally figured it out. First they noticed that you weren't as affectionate toward them during the past few months. They thought they'd done something to hurt your feelings. Let's face it, you were always the apple of both your dads' eyes, so for you not to hug them and talk to them is a big deal. One Sunday dinner, Dane brought up how Ben and Quinn were doing with their fishing enterprise, and Conn said you looked gutshot, and that's when he put it together. It wasn't so much you were having trouble with them as your dads, but for the first time you were seeing them as brothers in a ménage relationship like you wanted to have with Ben and Quinn Shotbrook."
"I'm so sorry, Mom. I didn't even realize I had done that. Oh my God, I have to go and apologize," Kara said, aghast.
"No, you don't. They're your dads. They love you and understand. The three of us are worried about you. Can I ask you a question?"
"Sure, anything." Kara couldn't believe she had been behaving so badly. God, what else could she possibly fuck up?
"Why haven't you just gone up to Sitka and told them what you want and need? Why have you been just sitting around waiting the last two years for them to pull their heads out of their asses?" Ilsa Johansen asked with a bite. It was clear that she was less than pleased that the two men had not been treating her daughter as well as she thought they should. Kara knew that her mom had to be really stressing as her tears turned into sobs, but she just couldn't help it. "Oh, Mom, I did. I did it eighteen months ago," Kara gasped out between sobs. Ilsa held her daughter tightly. When the swinging door opened again and Ilsa saw the heads of her two husbands peer in, she again shook her head, and they backed out. She continued holding her daughter.
"Tell me what happened, Kara," Ilsa coaxed.
"They're so stupid."
"Well, that's perfectly clear," her mother said crisply. "But when did you go? I don't remember you making a trip to Alaska."
"I told you all I was going to teach a glass blowing class in New Mexico. I didn't want anyone to know in case it didn't go well. I guess I must have known they'd blow me off again." Kara's voice continued to tremble, and her mother just held her closer.
"Tell me what happened, baby," her mother urged.
"They were so happy to see me. I thought they were going to ask me to stay, Mom. I really did. I planned it for the end of long-lining season so they'd have time for me." Kara tried to stop the tears, but the memories, both good and bad, struck like lightning from a clear blue sky. "It started out so perfect, you know? They had been trying to build the business so they could hand it over to their younger brothers. They wanted to make sure that it could support their families and cover the schooling costs for Sully and Timothy." Ilsa nodded encouragingly. She knew the story well, Ben and Quinn were the oldest of a large family. Their father had died when they were young, so they had taken over the family fishing boats up in Sitka, Alaska.
"Anyway, what they really wanted to do was come down to Seattle. They had it all planned, they told me. They had found a charter business that wanted to sell, and they were going to buy it. They were going to move here to be with me, and we were going to start a family … " Kara couldn't continue.
"Finish it, baby," Ilsa demanded.
"One of their boats sank." Kara sobbed. "Nobody died," she rushed to assure her mother. "The Coast Guard does a great job. But this was the second time they had to put our life together on hold."
"I don't understand. Why didn't you just stay up there with them?" Ilsa asked.
"Because they know how dangerous fishing is. Their dad died while fishing. Every season close to a hundred fishermen die each year in Alaska, and Quinn didn't want to put me through that. He refused to let me stay." Kara finally had her emotions under control, remembering her anger at the men she loved for making that decision on her behalf.
"Let me guess. They used their money for the charter business to buy another boat up in Sitka?"
"You got it in one, Mom," Kara said, dry eyed. "So, I came back home and told you all that my glass-blowing class had been a success. That's when I decided it was time to start dating men who would want to make a life with me now."
"Honey, Ben and Quinn want to make a life with you," Ilsa insisted.
"Their brothers are big boys. They wanted Ben and Quinn to go to Seattle. Randy, the next oldest, said that they could make it all right with just the one boat, that he and Kyle could get a loan for a second one and be fine. But Ben and Quinn wouldn't listen, especially Quinn, because Randy has a wife and children. They needed income for their Mom and the other boys' college, and there were still Timothy's legal bills. Mom, I really believe that deep down they must not want me, because they always find some excuse to let me go or send me away. If they really loved me, they would do anything to keep me. I've been throwing myself at them for five years. Well, I finally learned my lesson." Kara's voice was calm.
Ilsa looked at her daughter and thought through what she said. She couldn't really argue with Kara's logic. "Okay, honey. I understand, I won't bring them up again, all right?"
"Thanks, Mom." Kara hugged her mother. "And I'll talk to the dads after dinner and apologize. I didn't realize what I was doing."