“That was the last straw. It made me believe that whatever I do, just because of what I am, I’d only blight your lives, cause you even more untold damages. I had to keep you safe, from myself most of all. That was why I had to walk away.”
Another surge of dread smashed into her.
He believed his love, his very life, would be a source of threats to them? And that was why he’d still walk away?
His eyes were haunted, desperate, as they left hers, searched space aimlessly. “I thought my control and strength of will limitless. But it all crumbled in the face of my need for you. What can I do now when it’s beyond me to leave you?”
The heart that had been pulping itself against her ribs did a full somersault. She swore.
And she did what she’d told herself she couldn’t do again. She launched herself at him, over the tray, knocking everything over, tackling him down to the bed, bombarding him with kisses and raining now-ready tears all over him.
“You can do only one thing for the rest of our lives. You can love, love, love me, and Rico, as much as we love you.”
Richard, lying speechless beneath her unrestrained passion and relief, looked as if he was coming out of a fugue. “You love me?” If she’d told him she could stick to walls he wouldn’t have looked more stunned. “You love me? How? When I did everything to deserve your loathing?”
His guilt, his hatred of himself, his conviction he didn’t deserve her love felt so total, she knew he’d need a lengthy argument to persuade him otherwise. She wasn’t up to that now.
She wanted to get to the good part at once. At last.
So she asked one simple question. “Do you love us? Me?”
And if she had any doubt, what came into his eyes now put it all to rest forever. It was staggering, the purity and totality of emotions that deluged her.
“I far more than love you. You. I’ve always loved you...from the first moment I saw you. But I thought you never really wanted me, and that was why you didn’t come with me, never sought me again. I fought admitting my love for years, so I could move on. But I was done fighting weeks ago. I only want to worship you forever, and be the father Rico deserves, and never let you go.”
Crying out, she snatched a kiss from those lips that had been the cause for her every ecstasy and agony.
“You want to know how I could love you? That’s how. I loved you from the first moment, too. I must have felt your love, and it kept me bound to you, even through the misconceptions and estrangement.” She melted caresses over the planes of his rugged face, sizzling in delight at the open adoration in his eyes. “And if I loved the old you with all my heart, I adore the new you that Rico unearthed, the magnificent man and human being your terrible life had buried deep within you, with all my being.”
He shook his head adamantly. “Rico only melted what remained of my deep freeze, but the one who brought the whole iceberg crashing down into tiny fragments has always been you. The moment I saw you again, it was over for me.” He heaved up, had her beneath him in a blink. “I want you certain of one thing. I would have admitted it sooner rather than later that I wanted nothing but to be yours, to make it all up to you, even if we didn’t have Rico.” His face twisted. “But we do have him, and you saved him... You saved all of us.”
He buried his face in her bosom and she felt another thing she’d never thought possible. His tears.
Crying out, as if they burned her, she dragged his head up, her hands and lips trembling over his face, needing to wipe them and the pain behind them away.
No longer hiding anything from her, his emotional state or anything else inside him, he worshipped her in return. “This perfection makes me even more terrified. I don’t deserve a fraction of it. How could I possibly have all this?”
After another fervent kiss, she looked into his eyes, intoxicated with the freedom of showing him everything in her heart. “You better get used to it. You have all of me forever. And Rico. And you also have Rose and her family. And my family. And your best friend back. Not to mention that army of partners who drafted you into their brotherhood.”
His eyes turned into shimmering pools of silver. This time she knew it was with joy and gratitude.
His next words confirmed her suspicion. “It’s too much.”
Wrapping his massive frame in a fierce embrace, she pressed his head to her fluttering heart. “No, it isn’t. You see only the bad things you did, when you had overpowering reasons...or at least was under as powerful misconceptions. But you also did so many incredible things for so many people. You sacrificed yourself for your family, then for Rafael and Numair and their—your brotherhood, then you gave Rose a second chance and watched over her all her life.”