“I dare many things, my lady wife. But I’m not in the habit of pressing myself on women who don’t want me. It won’t happen again.” He turned away, and walked to the door where he hesitated and turned once more to her. “Until you instigate it yourself, that is.”
“Then it will never happen,” she spat out.
The door slammed shut on her. And she was glad that he was no longer there to witness the vivid colour that had spread over her cheeks, the shaking hand that she pressed against her hot lips, and the panting breath that refused to subside.
She staggered back into a chair and put her head in her hands. What was happening to her? In one afternoon, she’d had that which she valued most—her home—taken from her, and that which she feared the most—the passionate nature she’d inherited from her mother, revealed to her. It couldn’t be. It mustn’t be. She refused to succumb to such a passion. It had been her mother’s undoing. It would not be hers.
CHAPTER THREE
Rowena scowled as she looked around the hall from her position at the raised table, and skewered another piece of meat from her trencher.
She’d been over and over her predicament in her mind, trying to find a way to rid herself of this man, to reclaim her lands and herself. But there was none. Sir Saher not only inherited her father’s estate legally, but he also held it in fact. His men were fighters, hers were farmers and there was no-one willing to gainsay either the Earl of Norfolk or the King, no-one to defend her lands or herself. Her father’s “friends” hadn’t answered her urgent request for help, no doubt preferring to have Saher as their protector rather than a weak woman.
She was no match for him. She could leave. But where would she go, on her own, without money? She would have nothing. To one of the suitors she’d rejected in the past? Even if she could get one of the few who remained unmarried to marry her, and persuade them to fight for what was rightfully hers, she’d be no better off than she was now.
She refreshed her goblet and sat back in the chair with a sigh. She could go and join Melisende and her aunt, the Abbess, at Blakesmere Priory. It wasn’t a life she wanted for herself but she’d go if she had to, and take her money with her. Her aunt and sister were the only people she could trust with her money. It would be safe there.
Rowena glanced at Saher who was questioning her steward on the estate’s accounts. She hoped her steward had done as she’d instructed and hidden well the money which was hers—and would stay hers—alone. She had to bite her lip to stop herself from interrupting. It would only make it appear she had something to hide, which she had. Silver—which she was due to collect from the Flemish merchant, with whom her father had secret business, on the morrow. Some called such business smuggling, but in these times of heavy taxes, her father had called it prudent. It would be enough to buy her a future with the Priory should she ever need it. She just needed Saher gone so she could collect the casks of coin from the merchant and deliver them safely to the Priory. But how to rid herself of this unwanted husband who’d made himself so at ease in her own castle?
Saher turned and dipped his head to her ear, so he could be heard over the raucous laughter and noise in the Hall. “You are looking thoughtful, my lady. Considering what names to call our children?”
She wanted to ignore him but he was too provoking. “’Tis blasphemous, sir, to suggest I could bear a child without having done the necessary deed to produce it. You liken me to a lady to whom no mortal could aspire.”
His laugh was loud and filled the Great Hall. “Least of all you. The Blessed Virgin would be the last person I would liken you to.”
She looked around quickly. “Hush, ’tis rowdy talk.”
He leaned forward. “And you don’t like rowdy talk?”
“’Tis not appropriate only days after my father’s burial.”
He placed his goblet thoughtfully onto the table. “Ah yes, your father. His sudden passing must have been a shock to you.”
Rowena glanced at his face but found him to be serious and turned away sharply, narrowing her eyes as if she was looking for someone, trying to cover the swell of mixed emotions his words evoked.
She cleared her throat. “Indeed. I had imagined he would live a long life. But ’twas not to be.”
She felt his eyes suddenly upon her and wondered for a moment if he could detect the pain that gave a slight tremor to her words. But he couldn’t have done, for he looked away just as quickly.
“You were his great companion, I understand.”
She hesitated before she spoke, as her mind turned back to her beloved father. “Yes, we enjoyed each other’s company. I gave him due respect and love and he gave me free rein around the estate and castle.” She bit her lip as she felt the pain in her heart that her father’s passing had left. She cleared her throat and blinked. “The fire is exceptionally smoky tonight.” She signalled to an attendant to add more wood. Although it was summer, the nights were chill and the Hall was large.