Why did everything have to be so complicated, that had been simple a couple of weeks ago. I bit my lip and tried not to let Eric see my eyes fill to the brim with tears again. I looked away and half-held my breath, willing the driver to speed up so I could jump out and get lost in the crowd of well-wishers.
Eric took my hand as we pulled up and placed a silver locket in my palm. “I wanted to wait until later, but now I have you to myself; I’ll give it to you here.”
He closed it around my neck, his eyes twinkling and he leaned in to kiss me. The car came to a stop and suddenly all of our friends and family surrounded the us and opened the door. I jumped out and got lost in the sea of people, pushing my way through them slowly and into the hotel where I could have a few minutes respite.
My dress suddenly seemed to be squeezing the life out of me and I knew I would have to go pose for pictures later, so I couldn’t just rip it off. I took a few deep breaths and looked around, trying to find an escape route, if even for a minute, but the place was full of people that wanted to congratulate me and tell me how wonderful the day was.
Eric suddenly appeared by my side and brought me out for pictures. I grabbed a glass of champagne first, emptying it in a few seconds and followed him out.
The next few hours passed by having the same conversations over and over - thank you for coming today, no I’m not pregnant, I don’t know when I will be. As I made my way around the room, Eric decided my strategy was a good one and threw back glass after glass of beer until he could hardly stand.
That was it for me, I’d had more than enough and I would have to find some means of escape, even for a short while. When everyone else was in the process of getting wasted, I saw my chance and slipped outside.
Our hotel was perched on the edge of some cliffs, with the sea crashing below, threatening to rise up high enough to soak me. There was a garden surrounded by hedges on three sides that looked out into the night. I crossed softly over the path, into the protection of its sculptured fortress, closing the gate behind me.
It was filled with flowers and marble cupids that seemed to taunt me when I walked past, questioning why I wasn’t enjoying myself. The sheer drop over the cliff was rounded off by a stone balcony covered in roses and I breathed in their scent deeply and listened to the waves crashing loudly below. The night seemed alive and full of possibilities, ones that weren’t back in the hotel.
The sea sprayed my skin and I shivered in the night air, pondering how I could avoid going back inside, when I heard the rusty squeak of the gate swing open. As dark as the night was, I couldn’t make out who was walking towards me until he stepped under the light of the moon.
“Daddy,” I sighed, still unsure of myself with him.
“Hello honey, I came to make sure you were OK, I saw you slip out.”
“Is Mom gone to bed?” I replied, shivering a little.
“Oh she’s somewhere, off getting drunk with the rest of your guests. Your husband being one of them,” he raised one eyebrow and gave me the look he had given when I was a kid and stolen a cookie from the jar.”
“I know, he’s not used to drinking, so he doesn’t know his limit.”
“And what about you?”
He moved closer, and I almost felt the heat from his body.
“Do you know yours?”
“What are you talking about? Perhaps you’ve had a little too much to drink too Daddy?”
He grabbed my waist and pulled me close to him, pressing his heat against me, his face only inches from mine.
“What are you doing here with him? He doesn’t know you like I do. The real you. I know who you are Amber and maybe you haven’t even realized it yourself, but it’s not this. This is not the life that’s meant for you. Perhaps you’ve been playing the good girl a little too long, that it’s stuck and you’ve come to think of it as who you are – but I know different”
“What do you know about me?” I replied angrily. Who was he to come in and ruin everything I had tried to start for myself - a home and a family.
“I know that you loved what happened between us. I know that you think about it – that you can’t stop thinking about it and I know you want it to happen again.”
He leaned in and kissed me deeply, searching for my soul in a way that Eric couldn’t access. My stepfather had all of me and he knew it. He turned me around and began ripping at the ribbon that tied me up. He unlaced the dress and dropped it to the ground, until I was standing in my white lace lingerie.
“You are so beautiful honey”