“Next time I’ll send her your way,” he muttered. Except that brought an angry clench to his chest. He didn’t mind sharing during sex, because it got Hudson off. It got him off. But he didn’t like the idea of Hudson snuggling up in Rylan’s bed. In Rylan’s arms.
Why should it bother him, though? It wasn’t like he was looking to make her his wife. He’d already had one of those, and she was buried under six feet of dirt, along with everyone else he’d ever cared about.
“Nah, you won’t do that,” Rylan said with a chuckle.
It pissed him off how well his friend knew him. “Yeah, well, maybe I should.” He took a quick drag. “You deserve to be happy.” He exhaled in a rush. “She can make you happy.”
“Brother, that sounds great in theory, but we both know she’s not into me like that. Yeah, she’ll ride my cock until we’re both limp, but she doesn’t want to cuddle with me. She doesn’t want to be with me.” Rylan shrugged. “I’m cool with that, by the way. I’m not looking to settle down.”
Neither was Connor. He’d tried it once, and all he’d gotten in reward was death and bloodlust.
“Don’t be so quick to dismiss it,” Rylan said quietly. “I think you need a woman like that in your life.”
Discomfort twisted his gut. “A woman like what?”
“Who’s not scared to call you on your bullshit.”
An unwitting grin sprang up. “I have you for that.”
“It’s not the same, jackass. She challenges you.” Rylan crumpled his cigarette in the ashtray on the ledge. “And she still gets your dick hard even after, what, two weeks? That’s a record for you. You usually tire of them after a couple hours.”
Connor didn’t deny it, though it wasn’t that he tired of women so much as distanced himself from them. It was too easy to get attached in this world, and getting close weakened you. It left you exposed to heartache that he wasn’t willing to endure again. He didn’t want anyone relying on him. He didn’t want to be placed in an impossible situation again, where his choices impacted other people’s lives.
“I’m turning in,” he said abruptly. “Go wake up Xan if you need some more girl talk.”
“You’re a stubborn bastard sometimes – you know that?”
“Well aware of that. ’Night, brother.”
He went inside and shut the door, putting a much-needed physical barrier between him and Rylan. Him and Hudson.
Him and the whole fucking world.
13
Cleaning out the barn was tedious work, but Hudson enjoyed having a regular task to perform. She had no idea what the men would end up using the space for, though. It would serve as a great gathering place or meeting area, but Connor remained staunchly opposed to opening the camp to outsiders.
She was dusty and grimy as she trudged back to her cabin after spending the afternoon with Kade, carrying furniture from one end of the barn to the other. Kade had agreed they probably shouldn’t throw out anything they might be able to use later, so they’d dubbed one area of the barn the “storage corner” and proceeded to lug everything there.
She wanted to wash up and change before dinner, but once she got out of the shower, she decided to skip dinner altogether. It was Xander’s turn to cook, and her stomach churned just thinking about the cardboard-tasting meal he’d probably serve tonight. No, thank you. She could sneak into the kitchen later and raid the pantry.
Or maybe Connor would bring her some food when he showed up at her door tonight. Last she’d checked, he was in the lodge talking to Pike about the generator, but she knew he’d track her down sooner or later. He always did.
And now that she’d decided to accept their relationship for what it was – and what it wasn’t – she had no problem making her demands known to him. Though, really, there was only one demand: sex. Lots and lots of sweaty, dirty sex.
Luckily, he seemed more than happy to give it to her.
A knock sounded on her door, bringing a wry smile to her lips. Looked like Connor had decided to skip dinner too and go straight to dessert.
But it wasn’t Connor at the door. It was Rylan, and Hudson took one look at him and ushered him inside.
“What happened?” she demanded.
He gave her a sheepish grin. He was cradling his left arm, which sported a deep gash from his biceps to his elbow. The cut wasn’t gushing blood, but oozing it, and there were bits of dirt lodged in his flesh.
“I fell out of a tree.” He thrust out the first aid kit that was tucked under his other arm. “Can you patch me up?”