“You didn’t touch me last night.” I know I sound like an insecure schoolgirl, but I can’t help it. Lucas is a highly sexual man, and for him to forego a chance to fuck me…
“Of course I didn’t touch you,” he says through clenched teeth. “You’re still healing, and I— Fuck.” He twists as if to turn away again, but stops himself. Reaching over, he grips my arm. “Yulia… If I’d touched you, if I’d taken you again, I wouldn’t have been able to do this, do you understand?” His voice roughens. “I’d keep you with me like the selfish bastard I am, and you’d never get a chance to leave.”
All breath exits my lungs. “No, I don’t understand. If you still want me, then why are you doing this?”
“Because you don’t belong in this world… my world. They forced you into this life, made you into someone you never wanted to become. When I saw you lying there, hurt and bleeding—” He breaks off, then says raggedly, “You should’ve never been in that kind of danger, never met men like Kirill and Obenko…” He takes a deep breath. “Men like me.”
I stare at him, a strange ache unfurling deep inside my chest. “Lucas, you’re not—”
“Yes, I am.” His hard mouth twists. “Let’s not pretend. I’m like them—the men who hurt you and used you and manipulated you. You never had a choice about it all, and I didn’t give you one either. I took you for my own because I wanted you, and I kept you because I couldn’t picture a life without you. When you escaped, I would’ve torn the world apart looking for you, beautiful. I would’ve done anything to get you back.”
A tingle ripples down my spine. “So why are you letting me go?” I whisper, my heart beating erratically. Could it be? Is Lucas—
“Because I can’t bear to lose you,” he says harshly. “When I saw you lying there, covered in blood, I thought you were dead. I thought he’d killed you.” A visible shudder ripples over Lucas’s skin before he steps closer, his hands moving up to grip my shoulders. Leaning in, he says with barely controlled fury, “What the fuck were you thinking anyway, taunting the bastard like that? You should’ve stayed quiet, let me—”
“Let you get shot?” Everything inside me recoils at the mere notion. “I would never. He was after me, not you or Misha—”
“So you tried to sacrifice yourself for us, like you’ve been doing for your brother all along? Did you really think there was a chance in hell I’d let you do that?” His fingers dig into my shoulders, but before I can so much as wince, his grip eases and his harsh expression softens. “Yulia,” he whispers hoarsely, “don’t you know that I’d take a thousand bullets, die a hundred deaths before I let anything hurt you?”
My pulse lurches. “Lucas…”
“You’re my reason for existing now.” His eyes glitter fiercely. “You’re my everything. I want you in my bed, but I want you in my life even more. It’s been that way from the very beginning. Even when I hated you, I loved you. If you were gone—”
“You love me?” My lungs seize as I latch on to those words. I’d suspected, hoped—I even told myself I knew—but up until he said it, I hadn’t been certain. For Lucas to finally admit this…
“Of course I love you.” His hands move up to frame my face, his big palms warm on my skin. Gazing down on me, he says roughly, “I’ve loved you from the moment I saw Diego carry you off that plane, thin and dirty and so gorgeous it made my chest hurt. I told myself it was only lust, pretended I could fuck you out of my system, but I ended up falling for you even more, wanting you more each day. Your loyalty, your bravery, your warmth—it was everything I never knew I needed. Before you came into my life, I didn’t have anyone, didn’t care about anyone, and I was fine that way. But when I met you…” He inhales. “Fuck, it was like I saw the sun for the first time. You made my world so much brighter, so much fuller…”
My throat is so tight I can barely speak. “So then why—”
“Because you were made for love and family, for pretty things and soft words.” Pain laces his voice as he drops his hands. “You should’ve been adored by your parents and brother, worshipped by loving boyfriends and loyal friends, and instead—”
“And instead I fell for you.” Reaching for him, I grip his powerful hand. Tears blur my eyes as I stare up at my ruthless captor, the man who’s now my everything. “I fell in love with the man who saved me from Kirill and the Russian prison, who nursed me back to health and gave me my brother back. Lucas…” I curve my palm around his hard jaw. “You might be like them, but you’ve always given me more than you’ve taken. Always.”
He stares at me, and I see the growing frustration on his face. “Yulia…” His voice is low and lethal. “If you’re going to walk away, tell me now. I’m giving you this one chance, do you understand?”
“I do.” A smile trembles on my lips as I lower my hand. “I understand.”
His muscles coil, as though bracing for a blow. “And?”
“And I’m staying.”
For a second, Lucas is still, as if frozen in disbelief, and then he’s on me, his lips devouring me with a hunger that’s both violent and tender. His hands roam over my body, his touch rough yet restrained, cognizant of my healing injuries. We tumble backward on the bed, our mouths fused together and our hands ripping at each other’s clothes. Somewhere out there are nurses and doctors, my brother and his adoptive parents, the whole entire world, but here, in this private room, it’s just us and the heat burning brighter with each moment.
“I love you,” I gasp as Lucas thrusts into me, and he whispers the words back, his voice raspy and thick as he moves inside me, claiming me over and over again. We come together, our bodies shattering in perfect symphony, and as we lie tangled in the aftermath, Lucas holds my gaze. In his eyes are lust and possessiveness, hunger and need, and underneath it all, the warm tenderness of love.
In a few minutes, the nurses will come, and our little bubble will break. We’ll work on healing and moving on, on building our new life and settling into our new home. For now, however, we don’t need to worry about what the future holds.
What Lucas and I have together will never be pretty, but it’s perfect.
Our own version of perfect.
Bonus Epilogue: Nora & Julian
Approximately 3 Years Later
SPOILER ALERT: If you haven’t read the Twist Me trilogy, please stop and read that first (click HERE to get the book). What follows is for those of you who loved Nora & Julian’s story and asked for a glimpse of their future beyond the epilogue of Hold Me (Twist Me #3). Oh, and it gives a peek at Lucas & Yulia’s future too.
* * *
Julian
Nora’s scream echoes off the walls, the tormented sound flaying me open. I lean against the door frame, shaking from the effort it takes to remain still and not attack the white-coated buzzards hovering over my wife. My shirt is soaked with sweat, and my hands flex convulsively at my sides, the urge to protect Nora battling with the knowledge that I’d only get in the doctors’ way.
The baby is two weeks early, and I’ve never felt so fucking useless in my life.
“Do you want me to get you anything?” Lucas asks quietly, and I realize he came up from the hallway to stand next to me. “Water, coffee… a shot of vodka?” His expression is uncharacteristically sympathetic.
“I’m fine.” My voice is like a rasp of sandpaper over wood, and I clear my throat before continuing. “They said it’s not long now. That’s why they’ve tapered off the epidural.”
Lucas nods. “Right. I’ve been reading up on it.”
“Oh?” The bizarre statement—and momentary absence of screams from Nora—awakens a twinge of curiosity. “Are you and Yulia…?”
“No, not yet, but Yulia’s been talking about it ever since the wedding.” He exhales audibly. “I was thinking it wouldn’t be so bad, but now that I’ve seen this—”
“Julian!”
Nora’s agonized cry cuts off whatever he was going to say next, and I forget about everything, all but leaping across the room in response to her call.
“Mr. Esguerra, please, you have to step back—”
“She needs me,” I snarl at the doctor blocking my path. If he wasn’t the best obstetrician in the Swiss clinic, he’d already be dead. Shoving the idiot aside, I step forward to grip Nora’s trembling hand. Her palm is slippery with sweat, but her fingers curl around mine with startling strength, her knuckles turning white as her towering belly ripples with another contraction. Her small face is a twisted mask of pain, her eyes scrunched shut, and my chest heaves with helpless fury as another scream rips from her throat. I’d give anything to trade places with her, to take this pain from her, but I can’t, and the knowledge shreds me into pieces.