Christmas with Her Ex(39)

He touched her shoulder, she stopped, and they were there already. More reasons to go to his cabin. He unlocked his cabin and gestured for her to enter.

‘Madam?’ He looked so tall as he smiled down at her. So big and achingly familiar, and she could almost taste the impending loss, because they would be a world away from each other very shortly. But that was her life and she loved her life.

She looked up into his face as she passed under his arm and she remembered the last time they had been alone. Felt the twist in her belly and the warmth in her skin as she brushed against him. ‘Come into my parlour, said the spider to the fly.’

He shook his head. ‘To my mind it’s more of a black-widow thing.’

With her being the black widow? Not very complimentary!

He must have seen he’d offended her. Good. ‘Let’s just say I’m pretty sure you can protect yourself if you want to.’

Ah. But right at this moment did she want to? Kelsie hoped those thoughts didn’t show in her face as she looked around the spacious suite. Two large seats facing each other with a table between them. Twice the size of her cabin and at least that much more expensive. She’d never really thought about the financial disparity between them but that reared its head now as another reason a relationship wouldn’t work.

‘So is this all yours?’

‘It connects through that door to my grandmother’s suite, which is the same.’

‘Nice.’

He crossed to the tiny refrigerator she’d missed in the corner. ‘Would you like a cold drink?’

‘Juice. Thanks.’ Something to do with her hands was always good.

He sat down when they both had drinks. Opposite each other, the air heavy with unspoken thoughts, both with small smiles on their faces as they compared the stilted awkwardness to how they had been just a few hours ago.

Connor started. ‘I hope I didn’t upset you this morning when I left without saying goodbye—’

Did he expect her to say yes? She interrupted. ‘I admit I thought it was a little unusual but I’m not needy.’

Much. She so did not want to be needy. ‘So what did you want to talk about?’ She paused, thought and then said it out loud. ‘Contraception, perhaps?’ She wouldn’t put it past him and would not get her hopes up it could be something a little more flattering.

‘Did you get the package I left?’

Surprise. Surprise. ‘Hmm.’ Bite your tongue, Kelsie! Say nothing.

He leaned forward. ‘So you’ve taken them.’

‘No,’ she said coolly, and stood up. She didn’t want to do this. She wanted out. Now! ‘It makes me angry you’re so obsessed with something that isn’t your business. I didn’t need them because I’m already covered. It’s what grown women do.’

He stood too. ‘Wait.’ Touched her arm, carefully, as if afraid she’d brush him off, his eyes perplexed. ‘Why didn’t you say so?’

She shrugged. ‘Offended mostly. I thought you were very speedy at declaring the risk of not being protected because you were so sure I wasn’t.’

Like she was still a silly little girl. Not a mature, professional woman. If she didn’t get out of here soon she was going to cry and she did not want to do that! She’d spent the last fifteen years growing up. Growing a tough outer layer. Fighting to be the independent woman she’d thrown away the young Connor to become.

‘Okay.’ So perhaps it had been a bad choice to leave her like that. ‘I’m sorry. But there was other stuff going on.’ Connor wanted to pull his hair out. At least she’d finally explained how she felt. Half the time he had no idea what she was thinking and it wasn’t surprising he’d managed to upset her.

He thought of telling her about the phone call but knew he’d been glad of the excuse. So that was a cop-out. ‘Though, to be fair to me, contraception or lack of it is my business. I don’t know if you see me as a one-night stand or an old boyfriend but either way the honourable thing to do is ensure you don’t become pregnant when I’m the one who’s been irresponsible.’

‘You’ve still got control issues.’

He stilled. Stared at her thoughtfully. ‘No. You think I have but I don’t. I have care issues. I’m beginning to think you’re the one with the control problem.’

‘That’s not true. You’re just sexist.’ And she spun on her heel and walked out.

Connor looked at the empty doorway. ‘Sexist?’ He repeated it. ‘Me? Sexist?’ He adored women. He was a reproductive specialist, for pity’s sake, and he respected and admired women immensely.