Christmas at the Castello(14)

"The only thing we've proved is what doesn't work. How good we are at running away from our problems instead of facing them."

Her eyes widened. "Yes," he said harshly, "I'm including myself in  that. I know I wasn't perfect, either. We have fundamentally different  views on how we want to live our lives, Diana, but somehow we are going  to have to reconcile those views for the sake of this baby. To give him  or her a chance to grow up with the solid foundation of a cohesive  family unit."

"What if I want to be happy?" she blurted out. "You don't want to marry  anyone else right now, but what if you do someday? What if I want to?  Shouldn't I have that choice?"

His eyes darkened into that midnight shade of blue she knew signaled  imminent danger. "You don't want to marry someone else, Di, because if  you did, you would have filed for divorce months ago. You wouldn't have  waited a year to do it, until you were about to step on a plane and fly  off to another continent so the coward in you wouldn't have to face your  unresolved feelings for me until the papers were signed and we were  beyond the point of no return."

"I don't have unresolved feelings for you."

His mouth twisted in a derisive curl. "That night on my terrace was  strictly you getting yourself off, was it? The questions you asked about  my other women, the way you tried to take me apart? That was all  because you are so over me. I can see it now."

An all-over body flush suffused her. "That was closure for me, Coburn."         

     



 

"Yeah, you looked like you had it when you left." He studied her with  that analytical intensity that seemed to reach right inside her.  "There's this thing that happens when I touch you. A need inside of you  to connect that makes you slip out of that shell of yours and try to  crawl inside of me. I can feel it when you do it. I felt it that night  we were together, Diana. It's still there."

The husky play of his words singed her skin. If she'd tried to  verbalize how being with Coburn made her feel, she couldn't have done it  better. Except he didn't want her anymore-he wanted his child.

"I think you flatter yourself," she denied. "Are you sure that isn't  your own emotion talking? Because there was a hell of a lot of anger in  you that night, Coburn."

"There still is." He surprised her by admitting it. "But we're talking  about you and your refusal to acknowledge your emotions. You ran away  because I was forcing you to address a part of yourself that terrifies  you. You were afraid I would break down those walls and leave you  wide-open for scrutiny."

"That's ridiculous," she scoffed, pulling against his hold. "Let me go."

"Not until you admit it."

"Admit what?"

"You still have feelings for me we can build on."

"I don't." She lifted her chin. "But even if I did, why would I tell you, a man who professes to feel nothing for me?"

A guarded expression passed over his face. "I believe if we put the  past behind us, we can find something in what we had. Maybe it won't be  love, but it can be enough."

A sharp pain went through her at his blunt admission. "You honestly think that's enough to raise a child together?"

"I know it is. It's more than the political arrangement my parents had.  They didn't even sleep together. There was no affection."

And there it was, three years into their relationship, finally a clue  into what made her husband tick. She yanked on her arms again, still  manacled by his hands. "Let me go."

He let go of one of her arms but only to move his palm to her back, her  other wrist still held firmly in his grip. His gaze latched on to hers.  "Kiss me right now without emotion, and I will call the pilot to fly us  out of here before the day is done."

She recognized it for the ploy it was. "I'm not playing that game, Coburn."

"It isn't a game. If you can prove to me there is no connection left between us to build on, I give you my word we will leave."

She stared at him. At the matter-of-fact expression on his face. Surely  she could do that. Surely after what he'd done to her that night at his  apartment, she could kiss him without emotion. All she needed to do was  channel the intense hatred she felt for him in that moment and she'd be  out of here, free, because she knew if she stayed the consequences  would be worse.

Her gaze met his. "Let me go."

He uncurled his fingers from around her wrist but kept his palm to her  back. His earthy, spicy scent from his morning run filled her head,  reminding her of far too many hot, sweaty encounters with the man who  held her. She took it as a warning, channeling a Zen place she didn't  even remotely feel as she curved her fingers into his powerful biceps  for balance.

She stood on her toes, pressed her lips to his firm, beautiful mouth in  a light pressure that was in no way threatening, then pulled back.

"There."

Amusement glittered in his eyes. "Try a real kiss, Diana."

She swallowed the urge to claw his eyes out instead. He was such a  bastard. He wouldn't kiss her that night in his bed, but now she was  supposed to kiss him without emotion?

She took a deep breath and focused on the sensuous curve of his mouth  that had always fascinated her. A man with a mouth made for kissing had  been her initial impression of him, and it hadn't steered her wrong.  Coburn loved to kiss. He used to make out with her for the better part  of an evening when they'd worked together on the sofa, before finally  carrying her to bed. That was why when he'd refused to kiss her that  night, it had felt like a total and complete rejection of everything she  was...         

     



 

Blanking her mind to the low, tight pain that tugged at her insides,  she caught his lower lip between her teeth and tugged. It might have  been a bit more punishment than pleasure, but he played along, opening  up for her. She slid her mouth against his, this time in a caress meant  to stimulate. His hand pressed firmer against her back as he gathered  her into him, returning the kiss with a steady pressure that signaled  his complete acquiescence. She stiffened at the contact, because wasn't  she supposed to be the one in control here? But then again a kiss  involved two people, so she had to be okay with that.

Except then the weight of his solid, thickly muscled thigh moved  between hers, the power of his corded muscles far too stimulating...

A few more seconds, she told herself, not about to be the one to cut  this off so he could accuse her of reneging on their deal. She cupped  his jaw in her fingers and dragged her mouth across the sexy contours of  his, taking back control of the kiss. He felt like heaven, that was the  problem. The soft, seductive, expert caress he gave back was one only  Coburn knew how to give, as if he had all the time in the world to  seduce her. It was everything she'd wanted when he'd taken her that  night in his apartment, every bit of reassurance she'd craved that he  was as much under her spell as she was under his.

It shattered her. Sucked her into a maelstrom of emotion she didn't  want to feel-memories of how very good they had been together when it  had just been them worshipping how they made each other feel. How  nothing could touch her when she was in Coburn's arms because he was a  part of her.

His palm at her back urged her closer into the V of his hard thighs.  Deeper and harder the kiss went. When he urged her lips apart with the  pressure of his and his tongue sought hers, she moved toward him,  sliding her tongue along his in an unhurried, erotic movement she knew  he liked. A shudder went through his big body. "That's it, baby," he  murmured. "More."

A shiver rocked through her. The way she could make him feel made her  feel a little too invincible. Soothed the raw edges he'd left the night  he'd set out to prove he didn't care. Because it made him a liar as much  as her.

She fitted her hips to his and rocked against his blatant arousal. The  feel of him rubbing against her through the thin barrier of her silk  robe sent a bolt of electricity to her toes. The taste of him, that  essence that was distinctly Coburn, captivated her, enticed her on, his  low growl into her mouth as he palmed her buttocks and held her still  pulling a whimper from her throat.

The sound brought her crashing back to reality. She tore her mouth from his and flattened a palm against his chest. "No."

He let her go. As if he'd made his point. Her gaze landed on his  lust-infused blue one. On the rise and fall of his chest as he struggled  to get his reactions under control. She bit back the confusion raging  through her, threatening to bubble out of her, but it was too late. The  satisfaction glittering in his eyes told her he already knew.

"You see," he rasped, wiping the back of his hand across his mouth,  "that is what I am talking about. When you crawl inside of me and it's  so real it's like you are inside of me, Diana. Tell me you will share  that with someone else... Tell me you think it can get better."