“Would you like a head start?” Nick said, and Abbey almost fell backward with excitement. There was absolutely no reason in the world for Nick to race her son, but he was doing it!
“Give me just to that Christmas tree.”
“Okay. Where do you want to begin the race?”
“Right here.”
Nick followed Max to the starting point and lined up next to him. While his curiosity was still evident, the uncertainty that she’d seen on Nick’s face was easing slightly.
“On your mark,” Max said, his eyes darting over to Nick. “Get set. Go!”
Nick let Max have the head start until he got to the Christmas tree. It was clear that Nick, who could easily beat the thin, tiny legs of her son, was running slower to allow Max to win. Max yelled to slide, and they both hit the brakes, sliding side-by-side until Nick slowed himself down, allowing Max to reach the stairway at the other side of the room.
“I won!” Max said, giggling. “Wasn’t that so fun, Nick?”
Nick was smiling, the edges of his mouth turned down in that way of his. A chuckle escaped his chest. “Yes. That was fun, Max. Thank you for teaching me. Now I’ll be able to do it any time I want.”
“Yes!” Max said. “You could do it on the way to bed every night! I would. Where is your bedroom? Is it upstairs?”
“Max,” Abbey said quickly, realizing that Nick hadn’t ever shown her his bedroom. Max didn’t need to keep Nick from work any longer, nor did he need a tour of Nick’s private bedroom. “Let Nick get back to work. I’m sure he’s busy.” She turned to Nick. “Thank you for taking time to play with Max. I’ll make sure to keep him with me from now on.”
“It’s fine.” He smiled, but there were thoughts behind his eyes that she couldn’t read. “And you’re right. I really do have to get back to work.”
“Max,” Abbey said. “Let’s go upstairs and finish decorating.” She felt his head again. “You feel much better. Perhaps I can take you to Nana’s.”
“It’s fine if he stays here,” Nick said.
“Can I watch you do your work?” Max asked, and Abbey put her hand on his shoulder to try to stop his forward behavior. “It’s more fun than watching Mama decorate.” He made a face and Nick chuckled again.
She didn’t want to put Nick in a situation where he was babysitting. He needed a decorator, not a single mom with nowhere to leave her kid. “Come with me,” she said, putting her hand on his back in an attempt to lead him toward the stairway.
Max seemed to interpret his mother’s tone because he complied without any further discussion. But, as they started up the steps, he called back down to the entryway, “Bye, Nick!” Nick turned and waved, but his face was serious as he watched little Max heading up the stairs.
“Can I come again tomorrow?” Max asked.
“I think you’re well enough to go back to school,” Abbey said, with a little laugh.
“Aw. But I like talking to Nick.”
“What do you like about it?”
“He looks like the daddies that come to my school sometimes. They eat lunch with the kids in my class at the special parent table. It always looks like they have lots of fun over there. I liked talking to Nick like they talk to their daddies,” he said as he smiled up at his mother.
She smiled back at him, but inside, Abbey felt very, very empty. She felt responsible for making the choices she had, but at the same time, she knew that if she hadn’t made those choices, she wouldn’t have Max in her life, so she didn’t really know how to feel. It wasn’t guilt as much as it was a longing for things to be different. As he grew up, who would answer his questions in a way that only men can answer? Who would show him that men can read bedtime stories and cook dinner? With Gramps’s illness, he wouldn’t be able to do those things for Max like he had for her. All Max had was his mother, and she was doing the best she could, but she wanted more for him.
“I’m glad you had fun with Nick,” she said as they got to the top of the stairs.
Abbey looked at her watch. She had just enough time to get the bedroom with the picture in order to show Nick tomorrow. She hoped it would be a wonderful surprise. She whispered what she’d planned to Max as they made their way toward the room. In his excitement, Max ran ahead and opened the wrong door. It was the fourth door, the one Nick had said didn’t need any decorating. Max swung the door open, peered inside and then stepped back into the hallway. “This isn’t the room,” he said, but Abbey had stopped cold.