Christmas Wishes and Mistletoe Kisses(113)

“Thank you,” he said, and he kissed her softly.

“You’re welcome. You’ve made your ‘Dreams’,” she said, pointing to the song. “Now you just have to follow them.”

“I’ve been thinking a lot about it lately. It seems ridiculous until I’m with you and then, for some reason, it all seems like it could work.”

“I know the feeling,” she said with a tiny laugh. “Let’s start small, shall we? Baby steps. Play for your family.”

She took his hand and they walked down to the ballroom. This was a big step for him. With his music, he was showing his emotional side, the soft underbelly of that hard businessman, and he’d probably never shown that to his family before.

Nick walked in and sat down at the piano. His family joined Abbey around it, Susan clapping in excitement. He opened the book and set it on the stand. She could see the nervousness in his fingers. It was very slight, but she knew him well enough to know it was there.

“This is…” he looked up at his family, his eyes moving from one to another as he hesitated. And then, as if he’d made a decision, he said. “This is an original piece I wrote. It’s a lullaby.”

Abbey looked around at the faces of his family. Susan and Robin were perfectly still, their eyes on his fingers, eagerly awaiting this mysterious song that they’d known existed but had never heard.

He began to play, those familiar notes swirling their way up into the air, and, this time, Abbey didn’t think about Max. She thought about what it was like to hold a brand new infant child, to feel the softness of its skin against her, the pink of its lips, the curl of its fingers around hers, the way it would look nestled in little Max’s lap, and suddenly, the absence of those experiences nearly overwhelmed her. Each note brought her to the reality that her dreams of a big family, years of bedtime stories, a loving husband who helped her tuck her children in at night—it was still a dream. A tear rolled down her cheek and she wiped it away quickly, but as soon as she did, that glorious music hit her again and again, its sound so soothing and yet heart-wrenching that she could hardly breathe. She looked up to see if anyone had noticed, and to her surprise, Susan and Robin were both crying too. Even James’s and Carl’s eyes were glassy.

Nick had been looking at the music the entire time, and when he finished, he looked up. Susan had her hand on her chest, her eyes full of tears. “Nicholas,” she said, her voice breaking, “you have been holding on to this amazing talent and no one has been allowed to enjoy it. I am in awe of your ability, and as your mother, I am filled with pride. This is one of the best pieces I’ve heard. It moved me to tears—it moved us all to tears. Why aren’t you doing something with it?”

Abbey protectively sat down next to him. She, too, wanted him to pursue something with his music, but this alone was a big step for him.

“I just get busy,” he said.

“Doing what? Aaron’s damn business? That company took him away from his family far too many times. I put up with it because I knew he loved it and it made him happy, but I resented those nights when you asked for him and he wasn’t there. Do you really love what you do, son? Do you love it as much as your father did?”

Nick sat up, and Abbey could see the defensiveness in his demeanor. “I love it for my father,” he said, his voice controlled and even, as it had been on previous occasions when his emotions were challenged. “Because he isn’t here to love it anymore. And no one seems to get that except for me.”

Susan’s shoulders dropped in compassion for her son. “I loved your father,” she said, smiling at Carl to acknowledge him. “I didn’t like how much he worked, but I’d promised to be with him until death do us part, and I honored that promise. You have always been the most like your father, but you are very different as well. He didn’t have the kind of passion you have for things. He had drive, yes, but not passion. When I see you work all the time on that company, I don’t see your passion, and it bothered me so much that I moved away so that I didn’t have to watch it. Because I know how stubborn you are and how I wouldn’t be able to change your mind. That company won’t love you in return. It won’t give you the time that you’ve given to it. Look at your father. He’ll never get that time back.”

“He left it to me,” he said quietly, still refusing to expose any emotion he had on the topic.

“Do you know why, Nicholas?” Susan asked, her eyes pleading for his consideration.

He looked directly at her, waiting.