Child of God(13)

you ain't never married. It is a grief and a heartache and they ain't no reward in it at all. You just raise enemies in ye own house to grow up and cuss ye. Ballard turned his backside to the stove. Well, he said. I never could see it. That's where you're smart, said the dump keeper. Ballard agreed mutely, shaking his head. I heard you got burned out over at your place, the dump keeper said. Plumb to the ground, said Ballard. You never seen such a fire. What caused it? I don't know. It started in the attic. I believe it must of been sparks from the chimney. Was you asleep? Yeah. I just did get out of there. What did Waldrop say? I don't know. I ain't seen him. I ain't lookin for him. Be proud you wasn't like old man Parton up here got burned down in his bed that time. Ballard turned around and warmed his hands at the stove. Did they ever find any of him? he said. WHEN HE GOT TO THE HEAD OF the hollow he rested, watching behind him the while. The tracks he followed had water standing in them and they went up the mountain but they did not come back down. He lost them later and found some different ones and he spent the afternoon in the woods stalking about like any hunter but when he returned to the cave just short of nightfall with his feet numb in the leaky shoes he had not found any of the whiskey and he had not seen Kirby. He ran into Greer the next morning. It had begun to rain, a small cold winter rain that Ballard cursed. He lowered his head and tucked the rifle under his arm and stepped to one side to pass but the other would not have it so. Howdy, he said. Howdy, said Ballard. You're Ballard ain't ye? Ballard did not raise his head. He was watching the man's shoes there in the wet leaves of the overgrown logging road. He said: No, I ain't him, and went on. LORD THEY CAUGHT' ME, LESTER, said Kirby. Caught ye? I'm on three year probation. Ballard stared around the little room with its linoleum floor and cheap furniture. Well kiss my ass, he said. Ain't it a bitch? I never thought about them bein niggers. Niggers? They sent niggers. That's who I sold to. Sold to em three times. One of em set right there in that chair and drunk a pint. Drunk it and got up and walked out and got in the car. I don't see how he done it. He might of drove for all I know. They caught everbody. Got old lady Bright up in Cocke County even and she's been sellin whiskey non stop since fore I was born. Ballard leaned and spat into a can sitting in the floor. Well fuck it, he said. I sure would of never thought about them sendin niggers, said Kirby. BALLARD STOOD AT THE door. There was no car in the driveway. A pale yellow trapezoid of light lay in the mud beneath the window. Within, the idiot child crawled in

the floor and the girl was curled on the sofa reading a magazine. He raised his hand and tapped. When the door opened he was standing there already wearing his sickish smile, his lips dry and tight over his teeth. Hidy, he said. He ain't here, said the girl. She stood hip loose in the doorframe and regarded him with frank indifference. What time you expect him? I don't know. He's took Mama to church. They won't be back fore ten thirty or eleven. Well, said Ballard. She said nothing. Turned off cool, ain't it? It is standin here with the door open. Well ain't you goin to ast me in for a minute. She thought about it before she swung the door back. You could see it in her eyes. But she let him in, more's the fool. He entered shuffling, beating his hands together. How's that big boy? he said. He's crazy as ever, she said, headed for the sofa and her magazine. Ballard squatted before the stained and drooling cretin and tousled its near bald head. Why that boy's got good sense, he said. Ain't ye? Shoot, said the girl. Ballard eyed her. She was wearing pink slacks of cheap cotton and she sat in the sofa with her legs crossed under her and a pillow in her lap. He rose and went to the stove and stood with his back to it. The stove was enclosed waist high in a chicken wire fence. The posts were toe nailed to the floor and the fencing was nailed down as well. I bet he could push this over if he wanted to, said Ballard. I'd smack the fire out of him too, said the girl. Ballard was watching her. He narrowed his eyes cunningly and smiled. He's yourn, ain't he? he said. The girl's face snapped up. You're crazy as shit, she said. Ballard leered. Steam sifted up from his dark trouser legs. You cain't fool me, he said. You're a liar, the girl said. You wisht I was. You better hush. Ballard turned to warm his front side. A car passed in the road. They both craned their necks to follow the lights along. She turned back and saw him and made a chicken necked grimace to mock him. The child in the floor sat drooling nor had it moved. Wouldn't be that old crazy Thomas boy, would it? said Ballard. The girl glared at him. Her face was flushed and her eyes red. You ain't slipped off in the bushes with that old crazy thing have ye? You better shut your mouth, Lester Ballard. I'll tell Daddy on you. I'll tell Daddy on you, whined Ballard. You just wait and see if I don't. Shoot, said Ballard. I was just teasin ye. Why don't you go on. I guess you too young to know when a man's teasin ye. You ain't even a man. You're just a crazy thing. I might be more than you think, said Ballard. How come you wear them britches? What's it to you? Ballard's mouth was dry. You cain't see nothin, he said.