I don't know Harper’s address, but I do know she's living in the Idaho State Forest. I was there when I was younger. My uncle, who has long since passed, had an old place up there and we'd go there when we were kids. My dad would fish and we kids would roam the property. Life was sure different before everyone got wrapped up in Luke's cult.
There’s only one small street at the base of the mountain, so far as Google Maps is concerned. I drive there and find a motel for the night. It isn't nice, but I've certainly seen worse.
I wouldn't say I sleep soundly, in fact, nightmares—like not knowing what has happened to Cherish—mess with my mind. When the sun rises, I'm relieved. I can't bear another night without answers.
The only diner in town is open and a woman named Rosie serves me coffee and scrambled eggs.
"And where are you traveling from?" she asks, hands on her hips as if it's her business to know every person's business who walks in here.
Figuring she may actually be the first step in finding my sister, I tell her the truth. "I'm looking for a woman named Harper, she's my sister."
Rosie about near drops her coffee pot. "You're James?"
Shocked that she knows who I am, I ask the obvious question. "Where is she?"
She sits down in the booth, opposite me. "She's not far. Up the mountain, less than a half-hour away."
"Can I get directions?" I wipe my mouth, already standing from the booth.
——
Twenty minutes later I'm pulling up to a gorgeous cabin. I whistle low, amazed at this custom home.
Before the shitty car is in park, Harper’s already running toward me with arms wide open.
"James," she says, her eyes filled with tears, she wraps me in a huge bear hug and doesn't let go. "You're so big. So tall. And you have a beard. You're all grown up!"
The thing is, Harper and I are just a few years apart, but the older we got, the farther apart we grew. Her warm embrace is more than I expected, but it isn't until she is hugging me that I realize how hard it’s been to not have anyone in my corner this past year. Jonah and I were lone rangers, doing the best we could to scrape by, and I never had time to dwell on the past—I only imagined my future with Cherish.
When she pulls back we take a good look at one another. She’s all grown up. She's a twenty-six-year-old wife and mother. Behind her, on the porch, are her all-boy triplets and two daughters . They’re watching us intently, and then the boys start asking who I am, and what I'm here for.
"This is your Uncle James," Harper says. "My brother."
"You have a bro-bro?" a little guy asks.
I smile, kneeling before him. "Yeah, I'm your mama's little brother."
"Why have we never met you?" another boy asks.
At this, I look up at Harper who’s wiping her eyes. "Because, Cedar, sometimes life makes it hard to see the people you love."
"Did you miss him?" he asks his mama.
"Very much."
At this, her little ones beam. "Party?" the little girl asks. "Tea party, mama!?"
Harper laughs, picking up the little girl. "No tea party now. Later. Let mama have a cup of coffee with her brother first, okay?"
They listen, running into the house, and Harper and I follow behind them.
"Your home is beautiful," I tell her, noticing the custom woodwork, the fine banister, and built-in bookcases, the fireplace is massive, covered in river rock and is a focal point for the room.
The other place your eyes can't help but land on is the wall of family photos. There are dozens of frames: the kids sitting under a Christmas tree, fishing with their dad, photos of Harper and Jaxon on a TV set––the logo for a reality show behind them, and what looks like a big vacation with friends at a lake. Looking at them, I feel pride in my sister, for carving herself such a beautiful and rich life.
That is what I want with Cherish.
That is what I'm determined to find.
Harper calls to me from the kitchen, but before I turn to answer, my eyes land on another photograph of a family that isn't my sisters. The man's arms are covered in tattoos, and he’s holding newborn twins. Next to him are three more children, stair-stepped in age, looking about 3, 2, and 1. And with them is a woman I know. Well.
"Is that Honor?" I ask, choking on my words. Honor. As in Luke's Honor. As in, what the actual hell.
Then Cedar is back, standing beside me. "Yeah, that's Auntie Honor. And that's Uncle Hawk. You're my uncle, too. You should be best friends."
I walk into the kitchen with wide eyes. "Auntie Honor?" I shake my head, pulling up on a stool at the island. "What is going on here? Have you been to the compound? Where are mom and dad? The rest of our siblings?"