Chasing Forever(Chasing Series #4)(30)

"Sorry, I had to put something on."

"It's perfectly fine. You were … " he paused, "naked."

Well, there went my composure, I thought starkly.

Purposely making him comfortable, I didn't comment on it. "What brings you to Kent?" Did he have business around here?

"You weren't able to attend your graduation." He strolled forward, an arm's reach from me, handing me a square, velvet crème box. "This was my present for you." His eyes caressed my face as I took the present into my hand. "I've had it in the car all this time, and after the lunch meeting I had, it spontaneously occurred to me that I could very well drop it off … "   





 

I nodded, disconcertedly staring back at him. "Thank you, but you shouldn't have."

He shrugged before his face contorted. "It's nothing really. After how despicable I was to you that night-"

"Don't." I didn't want to recall the events of those two nights. "Let's not talk about any of that."

His eyes pleaded. "Wouldn't it be better if we-"

"No," I interjected before shakily whispering, "Let's not."

His eyes wanted to probe further, but I was grateful he didn't pursue the subject further.

"All right," he murmured. "When do you plan to come back? I can come pick you up any time you like. In fact, if you can come along with me today … " He was babbling as I stared at him like he had lost his mind.

"I'm fine, Toby. Truly."

"You look it … " He suddenly looked intense. Appreciative. "You look more than fine. You've never looked so beautiful in my eyes."

I had to look away, hurt by his words. "Thank you for the gift, but you must leave." At once.

In a flash, I felt him come to me, cupping my cheek before pressing his lips on the side of my head. "I've missed you so much … " he gutted out. "Come back to me."

Why did he have to come and thrash whatever fortress I had built around myself? I was in a moment of confusion once more, not sure how to respond to him.

"Toby … "

"I promise you, I won't be horrid. I won't hurt you anymore. This time, you'll come first before anyone else. It'll be different this time."

God, I was tempted, but I had so much doubt …

"Demand anything, and I'll give it you. Anything at all, just as long as you become mine again."

In a heartbeat, I would go wherever he asked of me, but I needed him to tell me the words. The ones I had desperately needed to hear from him that night-that he still loved me-but he never had uttered.

"Lucy … " he drawled with his hot breath brushing across my ear, on my neck. "I want you." His lips stroked the tip of my ear, sending delicious waves of shivers, waking the hidden hunger that he alone could command. His thumb easily slid inside the V of my robe, brushing, teasing a nipple, while he softly spoke into my ear. "I can't stop thinking about you. I ache every day not having you in my arms."

My treacherous body weakened at his expertise. "It's not …  g-d," I stuttered before moaning out loud when he pinched my nipple, circling it with the pad of his thumb then tugging it enough to evoke pain and pleasure. With the use of his other hand, I felt him unknot the robe, letting it fall to the floor.

"I'm desperate for you," he kept on whispering into my sensitive ear while my body was distracted. One hand on my breast and the other, skirting below, heading straight to my core. "I reach out for you at night …  I need you." His thigh parted my weakened legs, growling in my ear when his middle finger found my slit, which was throbbing with an overabundance of slick wetness.

"Hell-" he grunted out, as he fumbled with his pants. He lifted my leg to hook around his hip before pressing the tip of his cock against the opening of my slit. He then cupped my face with both hands, making me look into his eyes. He stared straight into my heart before his hips started to move, thrusting softly through my folds. "Tell me you don't want this."

I started to pant, drowsy from the exquisite feel of his shaft, rubbing and grinding on my clit. His cock was hard, thick, as it teased my opening, gliding across it like a rhythmic teasing for something even more blissful.

A soft sob escaped from my lips as our gazes interlocked.

"It aches to be inside you, Luce." He wanted me, and yet, he was demanding more than my body.

He drove me wild, wanton with need, and I completely unfolded, begging, "Fuck me. Please?"

"Promise to be with me?" He waited for me to answer, eyes demanding while I was delirious for him.

"I'm frightened."

Hurt spread across his face, but it only drove him more to pursue me. "I won't hurt you, I promise." He took my hand and planted a kiss inside my palm before placing it against the beat of his heart. "I'm yours, Lucy."

This should be enough. Maybe it was. Maybe this was the closest thing I would come to what I used to have with him. And it should suffice. "I'll be yours for as long as you're mine."

I didn't know what the future held for us. There were still a lot of questions that riddled my mind, however there was one thing I did know, and that was my love for him. The once simple, uncomplicated love had evolved into something more, much more compared to a year ago. Six months ago. Last week. Yesterday. It kept on growing abundantly. And I would continue loving him, knowing that I would always pine for him, his heart, to love me the way I loved him.   





 

I had accepted that.

That's why God invented dreams, so I could have him whenever I closed my eyes.





Chapter 27

Lucy



Being back with him in London was the best I could hope for. The first night, we barely had the chance to talk much since we both ended up indulging our carnal appetites. The second day was the same, and I was relieved that he opened a little about Amelia and the baby. He rehashed that last night with her and told me about their conversations. He even went on to say that he was hopeful after the ultrasound appointment. He told me a ton-and yet only brushing on the subjects that mattered most to me. But I didn't want to push it since we barely just restarted again. Besides, I didn't want to lay everything out there when I wasn't fully sure where I stood with him. True he admitted that he wanted me to be happy. Said that he couldn't get enough of me, missed me tremendously-yet none of them indicated any words of love … from a man deeply in love. They were words from a man who had a satisfying sex life … words from a lover. But still, I was optimistic, knowing that this was a great start for us.

We had been happy for three days straight until he brought up a subject he kept pressing on me.

"Why won't you move in with me? This house has four bedrooms. If you truly despise sharing a room with me, then you're more than welcome to have one of the three. You can do whatever you like-redecorate this entire place and make it into your own-I don't care. I just have to sleep right next to you. Is that so much to ask?"

If I gave up my place, I would have no place to hide. No place to call my own. If the time came that he and I would part again, I wouldn't have anywhere to go other than my parents' house.

"I'll move some of my things if that makes you happy, but I don't think I can sell the flat, Toby."

"Why not? You can use that money for something else-invest it in a business. You don't need to two homes. You can have this one with me."

Why couldn't he just drop it?

"That place is my home," I emphasized. "Besides, I might need it for later use."

"I see." He studied me a moment, pensive. When he did speak, I was caught off guard. "Okay. I won't bring it up anymore. It's about making you happy, isn't it? Then I won't push the subject any longer."

I supposed this was part of his change? I liked that. "Thank you."

He nodded, barely meeting me in the eye. "I'm going to make something for dinner. Anything you fancy in particular?"

"No, not really."

He stepped closer before leaving a kiss on my forehead. "Okay, I'll think of something."

There was sadness in his eyes that wasn't there before we started discussing about my flat. Despite that, I knew if I let things go his way, I wouldn't have any power over this relationship. And for sanity's sake, I needed some control.

It had only been three days and I already saw the major changes in him. He was almost like the old Toby-almost. I still remembered the horrible side of him. It was awful, but I'd been waiting for it to resurface.

Thirty minutes later, I went downstairs to join him in the kitchen. "Do you need help?"

"I've got it under control. Why don't you take care of the wine?" he suggested with a strange look about him.

Taking the glasses out before choosing a red, I directed him a glance. "Chad called. He's arriving this weekend and wants us all to be there at Blake's house. Luke and the baby will be there, too."

"Okay."

I carefully placed the wine on the table, pausing. "You sure that'll be okay?" I was afraid that it would be too much for him. After he'd lost his child, I wasn't sure how he felt about children as a whole.

He directed me an odd look. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"If you say so," I murmured, pouring the contents in my glass before taking a quick sip of the crimson liquid.