Chasing Forever(Chasing Series #4)(27)

He gave me a sharp look, raising his cocky brow. "You're offering your body to temporarily ease my pain?"

He would never, would he? The old Toby was all heart. I had to call his bluff. "If that's what it takes, then yes."

"Even if I fuck just for my own pleasure?"

Selfish, but I nodded anyway. "Yes."

He gauged me again, as if I had already deceived him once. "Remind me again why you're freely offering your body now when it was just mere weeks ago that you couldn't wait to get rid of me in Rome? Do you know how it felt having you that night, feeling as if we were back to the way we once were and then waking up alone in your bed?"

This man was on a roll. I had to gather my thoughts and ignore my wanton body. "I had to think-away from you. It was too complicated … "

"Maybe if you'd tried a little harder, it wouldn't be as such."

I flinched. He was making me an emotional punching bag, and I was letting it happen. The countless wrongs I had caused him made me glaze over the words that came out of his mouth. Underneath all the hateful words lay the man I loved. I would endure the wrath of his tongue if it would make him feel a little less angry. I would do it all for him.

Calling his bluff, I led the way.

Taking my pants down, I stepped out of them, only wearing my thong and my loosened top. I was about to take off the rest of my clothing when his words halted me once more.   





 

"You like to strip for the guys now? That's something new." There was laughter in his voice, as if he was making fun at my expense.

The blows kept on coming. How far would he go to hurt me? I wondered before he answered it for me.

"What new tricks did you learn from your other lovers, huh? What does that boyfriend of yours like to do to you?" He was almost sneering, as if disgusted at me.

Keep calm, I urged myself. "I'm not seeing him anymore."

He snorted before he stalked behind me, his lips brushing my ear. "How beautiful you look whilst lying, Lucy."

I was in blissful Heaven. In Hell. In pure ecstasy. In the depths of the scorching inferno. A twilight zone of his own making.

"Aren't you going to finishing stripping for me, my dear Lucy?" His brow rose, mocking me.

Slowly, I stripped. All the while he watched me with brooding fascination. When my body was fully exposed, I directed him a serious look. "Where do you want me?"

"Come here, but come to me slowly," he commanded. "Then you may undress me."

I did as he asked, approaching with trepidation as my body hummed with anticipation. When I reached him and started to unbuckle his pants, he made a sharp intake of breath. Carefully, I peeled them away from each leg, leaving him with his boxer briefs on. My gaze caught how hard and erect he was, furthering the fire that was building up inside. Eye to eye, I reached for the ends of his shirt, taking it off his body before dropping it on the floor.

Slipping against his body with my nipples brushing against his chest, I slowly took care of his boxers. I then decided to stay on my knees before looking up to him, telling him with my eyes what I wanted to do next.

Heavy lidded with desire, his throat bobbed as he watched me, anticipating.

I had never done this before. When I wanted to try giving him a blowjob, he would always tell me that I didn't need to please him that way. He kept telling me that my body was enough for him. So this was unknown territory, yet I had never been this confident with something so intimidating.

Gripping the base of his cock, I used my free hand to stroke him slowly. His low, grumbling sounds made me heady as I parted my lips, concentrating on the head of his dick. Gradually opening my mouth to accommodate his size, I started bobbing my head, taking as much as I could, sucking him with everything I had.

When I looked up, I saw him heaving in short breaths "My imagination wouldn't compare when I thought of you milking my cock. God, you look bloody fantastic," he groaned before I felt his hand grip the back of my head, thrusting his cock further in, stroking it a few times before sliding me from it.

"What are you doing?" I rushed out the question when he suddenly picked me up and carried me to the couch. He flipped me on my knees before parting my bottom. I yelped at the harsh way he entered me while he growled my name with deep satisfaction.

He felt perfectly divine as I held onto the couch, him pounding and fucking me like he meant it.

He thought he was taking me for his own satisfaction, but little did he know that I was with him all the way; loving every stroke, the hard pounding thrusts, and the roughness of it all. I treasured every second of it.

Passing out, mind and body fully satiated, beyond elated, I recalled falling into a deep coma with the feel of his chest under my head, listening to his heart steadfastly beat against my ear, satisfied that I somehow had broken a layer of his barrier. It was going to be tough to go through them all, however that didn't deter me.

One thing I had realized in Madrid after seeing him with the baby-I was done pretending that my world didn't exist for him. If his parents had a problem with that then I would endure whatever they have for me. I had done nothing, not a bloody damn thing-but loved their son to the fullest. I would not cower any longer.

My naivety caused one back luck to the next. I was ready to lay it all out there, to fight and save the man I loved from his own destruction, consequences be damned. And he will have doubts, I was sure of it. But I'm prepared to prove him that I could still be worthy of his love.

His touch and his beautiful tortured soul gutted whatever pride I had left. Making me realize that I had never wanted to be apart from him again. I would stay by his side, for as long as my sanity allowed it.





Chapter 24

Lucy



Last night, I remembered half waking up to him taking me a few more times. He had meant what he'd said when he had told me that he was going to take me for his own pleasure.

Physically, I had no complaints. I loved the fiery, passionate way he handled my body, as if it was his pleasure instrument, dedicated to the way he'd envisioned.   





 

What irked me the most was the lack of emotional connection with him. I felt just how he'd said it, that he was fucking me to ease his pain. Apart from the fact that I loved taking and dulling his pain away, even for a short while, I yearned for his kiss. I craved that touch-the kind where it could be harsh and rough, soft and sweet, yet you knew it was done with love. There was nothing of that sort last night.

Even at this moment, when my naked body was pressed against his own, even with his half-mast dick pressed against the crevice of my thighs, he kept his hands to himself. He couldn't be any clearer than that.

In Rome, he had been all over me. After we'd had sex for the third time, he wouldn't let me out of his arms, even if we had both been drenched with sweat and other bodily fluids. He had been un-detachable.

Swallowing the painful rejection and pain, I gradually slid off the sofa, getting up to fetch my clothes on the floor when the sheets shuffled.

"Leaving me already?" he grumbled.

I contained a sigh, masking my hurt with a smile before I faced him. "I need to be somewhere tonight. It's about a quarter past five in the afternoon, and I need to get ready. I'll come straight to you afterwards." Hoping to reassure him, I had failed.

"Don't bother coming back. I don't need you."

The sudden shift of his mood from appearing sleepy to awake and brooding in a manner of seconds made me feel helpless.

"Get some rest. I'll see you tonight," I retorted, ignoring his spiteful words as I slowly opened the door, leaving.

"I don't want you," I heard him say on my way out, thrashing his words at me, aiming where it hurt most. Tears threatened to well in my eyes, but I kept blinking them back. Crying wouldn't solve anything.

Someday, he'd to come back to me, I kept on believing. I had to keep faith. I had to remain strong for the both of us.



I didn't necessarily have to go out, but after the toxic mouth treatment from Toby, I had decided that I needed a change of scene. By doing so, his words wouldn't affect me as much. It would make me endure his sharp tongue and snide remarks much better.

It was Anne's celebration dinner amongst friends and family. She was Troy's sister and I had RSVP'd a month before, confirming the invitation. She and I had become quite friendly when she would come out with us from time to time, partying and dancing. Besides, she was amazing, and I wanted to witness happiness around me, believing that happily-ever-after did happen to those who waited. To those who were patient.

Therefore, I celebrated with Troy, chatting and enjoying everyone's conversations, sipping on wine and dining, half thinking about the passing time.

When it was time to leave their party, it wasn't until half past midnight when I arrived at Toby's place. I wasn't sure how he would react to me this time since I had told him that I would be coming back. Then again, he had said that he didn't want me back. Here was hoping my luck would be much better tonight.

I had barely shut the door while I slid the key into my small, clutch purse and was about to stride towards the hall when I was greeted by his presence, staring broodingly at me.

Clearing my throat, I forced myself to speak. "Hello," I squeaked. "I'm back."

His eyes scathingly went over my body, roaming with disapproval. "You went out looking like that? Since when did you start dressing like a whore?" Sneering his words, he was ruthless and unkind. "Who did you dress for? Troy? I bet he was there, wasn't he?"