“How long have you two being seeing each other?”
“Jason, have you spoken to Addison this morning to break the news?”
“How do you think Jaxon is gonna react to finding out you cheated on his mom?”
I almost punched someone after that last question. Fortunately, security was able to hustle us into the waiting SUV before I could react.
“Relax, Jason,” Sara said, patting my knee. “We’re gonna fix this.”
Once again, I tried calling Addison. Once again, it went to voicemail. So I tried texting. No response. This went on every ten minutes until we got settled on the plane and the flight attendant made me put my phone away. That’s when the fidgeting began.
A couple of hours into the flight, Sara had finally had enough.
“Jason,” she said sleepily without opening her eyes or moving the rest of her body. “You have to stop shaking your knee. I swear you are making the entire plane move.”
“Sorry,” I muttered and squirmed in my seat. Looked at my watch. Ran my hands over my head. Shook my knee.
“Ok,” Sara said abruptly, sitting up and putting her chair in the upright position. “You’re making me crazy.”
“I’m sorry. I just . . . can’t this plane go any faster? I’m going crazy here.”
“I can tell. And that makes me nervous, Jason.”
“How come? You have nothing to be nervous about.”
“I’m nervous about this relationship. Not that we won’t be able to sort this out. But what about the next time? And the time after that? And the one after that? Jay,” she said, putting her hand on my arm and turning to face me. “You’ve been dating for a couple of months and she already can’t handle the pressure of having a famous boyfriend?”
“That’s not what’s happening here,” I said, leaning my head back against the headrest and closing my eyes. I felt so defeated. And even the distraction of this conversation couldn’t take that away.
“Then explain it to me,” she said. “Because I’m worried that you are getting so involved with someone that won’t be able to hack it in the end, that you’ll lose more than just her and her son. You’ll lose yourself and your career, too.”
“No. Sara, none of this is about dating a celebrity. It’s all about me fucking up and not giving her a heads up.”
“Jay, you’re really gonna take the blame . . .”
“Sara,” I cut her off. “I’m serious.” I took a deep breath and looked around, making sure no one was paying attention to our conversation. This was not information I wanted leaked to the public. When I was satisfied that there were no prying ears, I leaned in closer to her. “Before Addison’s husband died, he was having an affair.” Her eyes widened. “Yeah. And not just any affair. Several years long, refuses-to-leave-the-mistress-to-save-his-marriage, kind of affair.”
“Oh god.”
“Right,” I said, nodding. “When I first met her, she refused to go out with me. Kept saying I would get bored because she wasn’t pretty enough or skinny enough. Some shit like that. I don’t remember the exact words. Now, you’ve known me a long time. How do I like my women?”
“Meaty,” she said with a shrug.
“Thank you,” I said with a small smirk. “I keep trying to convince her but her husband did a number on her and she still struggles with self-confidence. Anyway, I finally got her to go out with me and slowly, but surely, she’s learned to trust me. But now. . . ,” I trailed off, shaking my head, not wanting to say the words.
“Now she thinks you’re pulling the same shit her husband pulled,” Sara finished for me.
“I know this isn’t just about me, Sara. I know most of this is still old wounds from her husband.” I shook my head. “But I’m not gonna be the guy who just lets his woman feel like crap because it’s not about me. The internet rumors triggered it. But I have to do what I can to fix it. Does that make sense?”
She put her hand on my cheek and pulled me in to kiss the other cheek. “You are a good, good man, Jason Hart,” she said while looking in my eyes. “We’re gonna fix this, ok? Not just for today, but for the future, ok?”
I nodded, feeling hopeful that it was gonna work out. But still very, very afraid.
After what felt like an eternity, we landed in Dallas and began the drive to Addison’s house. Sara and I looked up every picture we had seen of last night and tried to figure out what exactly we were doing at the time the shot was taken. I didn’t want to come off rehearsed, but I also didn’t want to just say I didn’t know what I was doing at the time. The articles were more brutal. With my volatile state of mind, I decided to let Sara read through the articles. Lucky for her, she still found most of them humorous. Most of the time, I would too. But not this time.