Change of Hart(52)

“Why are you dressed as a phallic symbol?” Lindsay asked as she walked over to us, holding Emma’s hand. Addison burst out laughing again.

“I am a banana,” I defended. “I’m sweet. I’m good for you. And hopefully by the end of the night, a sexy monkey will eat me.”

“Ohmygod we haven’t even left yet,” Addison said, still cracking up while Lindsay made gagging sounds.

“Why do I ask these things?” Lindsay said under her breath.

“Because you never learn,” Sam answered, shaking his head.

“Mommy, I want to eat a banana,” Emma remarked, throwing Addison into another fit of giggles. She was laughing a lot tonight. I liked seeing her so happy.

“Don’t say things like that,” Lindsay remarked. “It’s disgusting.” Emma just looked at her like she was nuts and then took off running to catch up with Jaxon.

“I swear to you, Addison,” Lindsay started, “she is only inappropriate when she’s around Jason. She gets it from him.”

“Oh no you don’t!” I said defensively. “She is exactly like you! Don’t blame her sense of humor on me!”

“Whatever,” she said, rolling her eyes. “But really, what is this costume about?”

“I’m incognito,” I said, eliciting another eye roll.

“You’re incognito dressed as a giant piece of fruit?” she said. “You stick out like a sore thumb.”

“Maybe. But the shape of the costume hides my size. The top of the banana hides my head. And the yellow makeup hides my face,” I justified. “By the time we get close enough for anyone to recognize me, they’ll be too distracted by candy anyway to pay attention. See? It’s not just beauty up here. Its brains, too,” I said, tapping my temple with my finger, causing Addison burst out laughing again, making me start to wonder if she was on a sugar high, too. Lindsay just smacked her palm to her face.

The four of us continued to banter back and forth as we followed the kids from house to house. We spent a good two hours trick-or-treating around the neighborhood. Several times, Jaxon conned me into knocking on the door with him. I kept my head down and begged for candy along with everyone else. It was actually really fun. One of the neighbors was giving out full-sized candy bars. We tried to go back more than once, humiliating Addison, especially when the neighbor caught onto us and turned us away.

By the time the kids were done with the fun, Emma was knocked out and being carried by Sam, so they didn’t stick around. After we all said our goodbyes and they left, Addison, Jaxon and I headed into the house where Jaxon and I dumped all our candy on the floor and dug through it. We made three piles . . . all the good stuff, the stuff we’ll eat at some point, and the really bad candy to sell back to the dentist the next day. Yes, his dentist spends the day after Halloween weighing bags of candy and buying it from kids for a dollar per pound. So that’s where all the strawberry Tootsie Rolls and Pixie Sticks were headed. All the full-sized candy bars were going in my pocket once Jax went to bed.

“Come on, Jaxon, it’s time to get some jammies on and brush your teeth,” Addison said.

“Ok,” he said with a yawn, meandering down the hall to his room. He must have really worn himself out because I had never seen him so willingly stop what he was doing to get ready to sleep.

Addison turned to me saying, “I’ll be right back. I’m going to change into something way more comfortable than this.”

“Really,” I said, raising an eyebrow.

“Shut up,” she laughed. “I’m putting on yoga pants.”

“Yoga pants,” I said, raising both eyebrows this time. “I like yoga pants!”

She swatted my arm playfully. “Well I don’t have any in your size, so you’ll have to put on your own clothes. Unless you wanna stay dressed like a banana the rest of the night.”

“No way. I have no idea how you women wear tights and pantyhose all the time,” I said, standing up. “These are the most uncomfortable things I’ve ever worn in my life.”

“Which is why all women have multiple pairs of yoga pants,” she said while walking away from me.

I grabbed my clothes to change and headed toward the bathroom. If I thought getting the costume on was hard, getting it off was even worse. But my legs had never felt so free once those tights were finally in a pile on the floor and not suctioned to me. The tights were easier to get off than the makeup. Apparently, regular soap doesn’t get costume make up off all the way. Lesson learned.

“Is he already asleep?” I asked Addison when I walked out of the bathroom. She was bagging up our pile of “to be sold” candy.