“Hmm . . . ,” I said, looking Jaxon in the eye. “Let’s see . . . thank you for the compliment. I agree Deuce got screwwww . . . shafted. And yes, as soon as we’re all dressed we’re going trick-or-treating.”
He wiggled down to the floor and started jumping up and down. “Did you bring my costume? Did you bring me a helmet?”
I picked up one of the bags that was still sitting on the front porch. “It’s all in here,” I said, handing it to him as he continued to jump. “Go put it on so we can get ready to go.”
“Ok!” he yelled and took off down the hallway. When I heard him banging things around his room, I stalked over to Addison and backed her against the wall, pressing my whole body to hers and kissing her with everything in me. She reciprocated for a really amazing few seconds before pushing me away.
“He got really quiet in there, Jason,” she said, still catching her breath. “That means he’s gonna come tearing around that corner any minute.”
“That little stinker is ruining all my fun,” I joked, walking back over to the door to grab the remaining bags. Sure enough, he came racing into the room before I even got to the doorway.
“Why aren’t you ready to go yet?” he asked excitedly, his helmet leaning to one side, just slightly too big for him. “What were you doing while I was getting dressed?”
“We were talking about a game plan for tonight,” I said, winking over my shoulder. Addison rolled her eyes and smiled.
“Why do we need a game plan?” he asked.
“Well, we want to get the most candy we can, right?” I said with a smile. He nodded. “Then we need a game plan of all the best houses with all the best candy. We have to maximize our trick-or-treating.”
“Ok!” he agreed. “Oh! I need our pillowcases! Mom let me decorate some for tonight!” And off he ran again.
I looked at Addison. “We’re gonna have to keep him on a leash tonight.”
“Probably,” she agreed. “Ok, I’m dying to see what my costume is. It better be good.”
I handed her a bag with a smile. “Don’t look until you get to your room and have the door closed,” I said. “I’m gonna change in the hall bathroom.”
She narrowed her eyes and cocked her head, obviously trying to read my expression. “Ok,” she finally said. “I’ll be back in a few.”
She turned around and walked back to her bedroom while I headed to the half bath. It took me more than a few minutes to get my costume on. I could hear Addison trying to keep Jaxon from climbing the walls while they waited for me. But it’s not easy getting this big body in form-fitting costumes and makeup.
Once I was finally done, I opened the door to see Addison waiting for the big reveal. I guess Jaxon had taken off somewhere. As soon as she spotted me, she threw her head back and laughed a giant belly laugh.
“A banana?” she asked between breaths. “You’re going as a banana?”
“It’s symbolic. It’s because I’m bananas for you, baby,” I said, waggling my eyebrows up and down.
“You’re making me go as a monkey and you’re a banana?” she asked, still laughing.
“Cause we belong together,” I said, still playing it up.
“No,” she argued. “It’s because you’re gonna make all kinds of inappropriate comments to me tonight.”
My mouth dropped open and my eyes widened in fake shock. “You have such a dirty mind! I would never think of such things!”
“Uh huh. Then tell me, why did you get a costume that is so tight on me?”
“It’s not tight. It’s fitted,” I clarified. “And you’re a girl monkey. So you had to be a sexy monkey.”
She rolled her eyes at me and kept chuckling as she went to pick up the pillowcases. Just then, Jaxon came barreling through the room, stopping dead in his tracks when he saw me. His eyes looked back and forth between Addison and me a few times before he spoke.
“Why are you dressed like a banana?” he asked, eyes still wild from his sugar high.
“Um, because your mother is dressed like a monkey,” I said, trying to gauge his reaction.
“Oh,” he said, pausing momentarily. Then he yelled, “Come on, let’s go!” And out the door we went.
As we walked down the sidewalk, Lindsay and Sam pulled up with Emma. We had a terrible time trying to get Jaxon to stay put while we waited for Emma to get her Princess costume situated. I finally appeased him for a few minutes by letting him get down in a squat position, pretend he was going into a play and then ram into me like he was tackling me. For a little squirt, he was pretty good. Almost knocked me over a few times. However, he did have an advantage, being that I was wearing bright yellow tights and all.