No one caught on that anything was different with me. No one except Deuce, that is. I finished showering after weight training when he approached me at the lockers and quietly chided me . . . grabbing his nuts and making a lewd gesture while saying, “She’s got you by the balls man! I can see it!”
I smacked him in the junk for that. Not hard, but hard enough that he crouched over, holding himself and said, “Don’t mess with my baby-makers,” without taking a breath.
The game was the easiest part of the day. There’s a lot of distraction and virtually no down time. There were always plays to review, fans waving things around, and of course tackling people. And we did it well. More than well. Blew out the Texans, 31-21. It was ugly. Well, not for me. For me it was awesome.
But once the game was over, there wasn’t much else for me to do except think about what I was going to say. I knew Jaxon would be asleep by the time I got home. But that last hour or so before I could get out of the stadium, past all the reporters and fans, were a killer. I didn’t have a choice, though. I needed to wait until we had no interruptions before having this conversation.
Before I knew it, I was home and it was late enough that I could call. I sat down on the couch, took a deep breath and dialed.
“I was starting to wonder if you ditched me,” she said when she picked up the phone.
I smiled at the sound of her voice. “Nah. I had a game so I didn’t get home until just now. And I wanted to make sure Jax was in bed before I took all your attention away.”
“That was really nice of you. It was a good game.”
“You guys watched it?” I asked, surprised.
“You think Jaxon would miss it?” she joked.
“Yeah . . . I guess he is the world’s biggest fan.”
We both paused for a few seconds. I was trying to get my nerves a little more under control.
“So, I wanted to talk to you a little more about our conversation last night.”
“Jason,” she started, sounding like she was pleading. “There’s nothing else to talk about.”
“Just hear me out, please?”
She sighed. “Ok. I’m listening.”
I smiled. This was my chance. “I know you’re worried about Jaxon. I know you’re worried because he and I are getting close and you’re afraid if you and I don’t work out, he’ll be the one to suffer. Am I right?”
“That’s exactly it,” she confirmed. “It doesn’t matter how attractive I find you. My first priority is my son. Over everything else.”
“I get that,” I said. “Because I was Jaxon. I was exactly where he’s at right now. My father was gone and I was left with just my mom. I’m so glad my Uncle Davis stepped in and took on that father figure role. But if he had left or changed his mind, I would have been devastated.”
I stopped for a minute and let that sink in while carefully coming up with my next words.
“Addison,” I said gently, “I’m not the guy who is gonna change his mind. I can’t guarantee that you and I will work out. Hell, maybe we’ll go on one date and decide we hate each other.”
She snickered softly.
“But meeting Jaxon first means something. My friendship with him doesn’t have anything to do with whatever is going on between me and you.”
“Jason,” she said quietly, “If you and I don’t work out . . . I just . . . I can’t watch him lose another man he idolizes. I just can’t.”
“I don’t want to see that either,” I said. “So I have an idea.”
“Ok,” she said. “Still listening.”
“What if we keep the two relationships separate?” I asked hopefully. I knew this was a good idea. I just had to convince Addison it was.
“How?”
“Easy. When you and I go on dates, he doesn’t know. We either meet up, or I don’t come to the door, or whatever. I still have my one-on-one time with Jax, that won’t change,” I stood up and started pacing the room. I was talking fast, but I couldn’t seem to slow down. “And when I call, I’m either calling for Jaxon or for you, not both. If I talk to him, when I’m done, I hang up and call you later when you’re not busy. We don’t lie to him. If he asks, we tell him the truth. But we don’t make it out to be this big deal. We just kind of . . . downplay it in front of him. Until we both feel confident in where this is headed.”
I stopped walking and held my breath.
“I . . . ,” she stammered, “I . . . I’m just so scared, Jason.”
“I know,” I said, dropping back down onto the couch. “I’m kind of scared, too.”