Cement Heart(58)

Her head turned toward me again, eyeing me warily. “You’re freaking me out talking like that. Knock it off.”

She turned her head back toward the lake and closed her eyes as a small, tight smile appeared on her lips. I didn’t say anything.

We just sat in the warm sun, enjoying the quiet together. In that moment, as in many other moments throughout my life, I wished she were my mother instead of my grandmother. She would have protected me.





THE WEEK WENT by faster than I remembered any other week going by in my whole life. My workouts and practices were priority number one, but I found that not concentrating on where my next woman would come from gave me a lot of extra time on my hands. I did a complete overhaul of my house, going through every cabinet and closet and getting rid of carfuls of shit I didn’t need and didn’t use anymore. How does one single guy accumulate so much junk anyway?

Before I knew it, it was Sunday. Library day. I’d still been texting Michelle every single morning asking how things were going, and most days it was the same answer, though once in awhile we’d chat for a minute too.

That morning, instead of my typical text, I sent a different one.



See you at 9?



She answered almost immediately.



M: Yep. Matthew hardly slept last night. He’s so excited.



Good. Tell him I am too. Any chance I could take him for lunch after?



M: Absolutely. It might change his excitement into convulsions but I’m sure he’d really like that. Thank you, Viper. This means more to me than you know.



That last text made my day. Knowing that Matthew was so excited was one thing, but knowing that Michelle appreciated it brought everything full circle for me.

I told you, Mike. I told you I’d help, buddy. I’m trying.



Nine o’clock rolled around and I was standing on Michelle’s porch pushing the doorbell. Like a herd of buffaloes charging through the house, Matthew came flying toward the front door from the kitchen with Michelle following right along behind him, shaking her head.

She laughed as she opened the door. “Seriously. This kid is nuts.”

“What’s up, buddy?” I cheered as excitedly as I could. Matthew’s skinny little body jumped up toward me, completely trusting that I’d reach out and catch him. Of course I did.

“I can’t wait. Today is On The Farm day. Remember?” he babbled excitedly, his eyes gleaming.

“How could I forget?” I answered, looking over at Michelle and winking.

She wrapped her arms around herself and smiled at me with closed lips.

“Did you tell him?” I asked her.

“Um…” She frowned at me and shook her head slightly, clearly confused about what I had asked.

“About after?”

Her eyes grew big. “Oh. That. No.” She laughed. “He was already so excited about the library that if I’d told him about the second part, I would’ve had to lock him in his room all morning.”

I turned my attention back to Matthew, who was staring a hole through me about two inches from my face.

“So, after the library today, how about we stop and get some lunch? I know this cool place that let’s you open peanuts and throw the shells on the floor.”

“No way!” Matthew whispered loudly, moving closer to my face, if that were even possible.

“You don’t think much of personal space, do you, buddy?”

He pulled back and crinkled his little nose up. “What’s that?”

“Never mind.” I laughed. “You ready to go? Let’s leave early so we can get a prime seat on that friendship rug.”

“What’s a prime seat?” he asked again.

Michelle covered her mouth with her hand and laughed quietly. “You’ll learn,” she joked as she shook her head and handed me Matthew’s backpack.

I threw the backpack over my shoulder and we were out the door.



A couple hours later, we’d read one book about a calf who’d wandered away from his farm and couldn’t find his way home, sang the longest version of “Old MacDonald” I’d ever heard, and done a dance where we all had to pretend to be a different animal. I wanted to be an elephant with a huge trunk, for obvious reasons, but Matthew told me I couldn’t since they don’t live on farms, so he made me be a duck.

Storytime ended and I buckled him into the backseat of my car.

“Where are we going again?” he asked in his squeaky little voice.

“There’s this restaurant I like called Cowboy Phil’s. When you sit down, they put a bowl of peanuts on the table and you get to eat them and throw the shells right on the floor.”

In the rearview mirror, I could see his little mouth drop open and his eyes grow huge. “Whoa!” he whispered.