“He can’t see it, because he doesn’t believe it’s possible,” spat Fingal. “He couldn’t manage to earn my mother’s love, but who could, Niall? Do ye think she loves me anymore than she does ye? The only person she truly loves is herself, and yet ye will never give up trying.”
Turning back to Katherine, Fingal continued, “Perhaps you didn’t know this, but several years ago Niall fell for the wiles of a faithless, grasping bitch who betrayed him with another. She was never worthy of your love, Niall, but ye have been so tainted by her deceit, ye can’t recognize genuine devotion when ye see it.”
Then, sounding defeated, he said “Niall, I don’t know who Tomas overheard, or why they would believe Duncurra would become theirs, but it wasn’t me. The only thing I have ever wanted was your respect. When ye appointed me to your guard, I thought I had finally earned it, but that must have been an illusion as well. If my presence here causes ye any distress, as soon as I can travel, with your permission, I will leave Duncurra and return to Laird Chisholm.”
Niall stared at both of them, speechless. Katherine trembled, forcing back her tears. She felt as if he had mortally wounded her. Fingal, ashen and obviously in pain, looked…lost. Niall shook his head and said in a calm voice, “Ye’re not going anywhere except back to bed, Fingal. Katherine, give him something for pain. I will join ye in our chamber shortly.”
Katherine ran out of the great hall and up to their chamber. Safely behind the closed door she broke down and sobbed. She had been afraid when she saw Niall’s raw anger. She felt the same heart- stopping fear she had when she knew Uncle Ambrose was going to beat her. This man she loved so desperately had hurt her more deeply than anything Uncle Ambrose could have dished out. You have learned the surest way to open yourself to hurt is to love and yet you love anyway.
How could he have accused her of something so awful? How could he doubt her so profoundly? After a few minutes, she pulled herself together, washed her face, and prepared the potion to give to Fingal, the same one Niall had seemed angry about yesterday. She shook her head at the irony.
Diarmad was helping Fingal into bed when Katherine arrived. Fingal looked miserable. “Here, drink this,” she said, handing him the potion, “It will help with the pain.”
“Is it the same bitter swill ye made me drink yesterday? Thanks, I think I’d rather be in pain.” Diarmad frowned at him and Fingal took the potion from her, “Still, I wouldn’t want to be accused of not following orders,” he said wryly. He swallowed the potion, grimacing at the taste.
“I’ll send Edna up later to change your bandage,” Katherine said flatly and turned to leave.
“Katherine, wait,” called Fingal. She stopped, but she didn’t turn around. Fingal went on, “I don’t know where that came from, Katherine, but I am sorry. I know he loves ye, he didn’t mean to hurt ye like that.”
“Still, Fingal?” Katherine asked, turning slowly to look at him, “After he verbally scourged both of us for some imagined wrong, ye would still defend him and apologize for him? I think your attempts at winning your brother’s love and approval are as vain as my own.” She turned and left the room, returning to her chamber quickly lest she cry again.
~ * ~
Niall remained in the great hall brooding. Alan and Cairbre didn’t interrupt. Niall knew they would simply wait until he either dismissed them or drew them back into the discussion. Malcolm did not show the same deference, finally asking, “Ye don’t believe them, do ye?”
“Aye, Malcolm, I do,” said Niall irritably.
“Niall, I am afraid ye are becoming just like your father. He was too willing to trust people and that was his greatest fault. I hope it doesn’t destroy ye.” Niall didn’t respond and Malcolm continued, “Well, I had planned to return to Brathanead today, but if ye would like for me to stay until things are sorted out, I would be happy to.”
“My thanks, Malcolm, I don’t think that will be necessary. I don’t know who Tomas overheard or what it means, and I really can’t see any solution to this issue with Matheson at the moment. Laying siege to Cnocreidh would be a colossal waste of resources. I will increase security along my western border and raid again to try and recover some of our losses, but I will not allow revenge to drive me to wreak the kind of destruction he did. If there is any way ye can help, I will send ye a message. Have a safe journey.”
“I’m sure you know best,” said Malcolm before he left the hall.
Diarmad returned as Malcolm was leaving. He approached Niall and said, “Fingal is in bed and your wife awaits ye in your chambers, Laird.” Niall nodded but said nothing. Diarmad shook his head and said, “Laird, I know it isn’t my place to tell ye this, but even at the risk of worsening your foul temper, I find myself agreeing with your lady wife.”