Caught Up in Us(24)

“Were we awesome or were we awesome?” Jill asked.

I’d already told her she was stunning as Eponine, belting out a nearly heavy-metal-esque version of On My Own. But I wanted her to know that the encore of One Day More was just as spectacular.

“You were the freaking bomb,” I said, then introduced Jill and Nate, and Nate and Reeve. They ordered drinks, and the guys chatted for a few minutes about the show. Jill pulled me aside.

The club had started blasting recorded songs through the speakers so we were surrounded by the din of music again. “How did it go today? Did anything happen?”

I pressed my teeth against my bottom lip and shook my head.

Jill pointed at me. “That’s your tell. When you do that thing with your teeth. So what really happened?”

I wasn’t going to be able to fool Jill, nor did I want to, so I gave her the quick version. Her dark blue eyes widened when I told her what went down on his couch. She held up her hand, waiting for me to high-five her. I gave her a quizzical look.

“Kat, you pretty much dry-humped him in his office. That is fucking ballsy,” Jill said, with a mischievous grin.

“Stop! Don’t call it that. He used his – ” I wiggled my fingers.

She put her hands on her hips and gave me a pointed stare. “Fine. You dry humped him and he fingered you for the payoff. The fact that you want him so badly you can practically get off just through your clothes is a sign. I went out with this singer from an indie band a year ago. Stefan, remember?”

I nodded and Jill continued. “I wanted him so badly that the first time we did it, I was calling out his name within ten seconds of him being inside me.” Jill had a wistful look in her eyes, and I could tell she’d taken a trip back in time.

“Why are you telling me this, Jill?”

“Because. Because sometimes it’s just so good that it’s like all they have to do is touch you and,” Jill tapped my arm with her index finger, “And you are 50,000 degrees hot for them.”

“So, are you going out with this Stefan now? Are you dating him?” Like a good cross-examiner, I knew the answer before I asked.

Jill shook her head.

“See? That’s my point. What does it matter? He might have my number in the chemistry department, but I want the whole package, and I’m obviously not going to get it with him.”

Jill sighed heavily. “Fine. Be that way.” She tipped her forehead to Reeve. “I know someone who might want to take your mind off Bryan.”

“He is cute,” I admitted.

She nudged me with an elbow. “He thinks you’re cute too. Let’s go chat.”

When we returned to the boys, Jill struck up a conversation with Nate, sliding into her role as wingwoman.

Reeve moved closer to me. “So, you liked the show?”

“It was great.”

“What did you think about the modern feel of it?”

“It was the best. Master of the House was like a Jay-Z rap, and when you sang Empty Chairs at Empty Tables you sounded like the lead singer of Arcade Fire, and they’re only my favorite band ever.”

“Arcade Fire pretty much sets the standard for musical awesome. They’re amazing.”

“And so was your show. I was definitely into it.”

“What else are you into, Kat?” he asked.

I wasn’t sure if it was a prelude to a line, so I answered him directly. “Movies. I like movies. You?”

“I’d like to star in some movies,” he said. “I have an audition next week for a Joss Whedon film.”

“Wow. That would be incredible.”

I’d dated an actor once and it hadn’t worked out, but Reeve had the self-confidence Michael lacked. So as we talked about our shared love of all things Joss Whedon, I let my mind wander to his mouth, imagining what it would be like to kiss him. His lips were red and full, and he smelled of sweat and beer and the adrenaline of a fabulous opening night. I bet he tasted good, like charisma, like stage presence, like a star in the making who knew how to perform. I bet I’d enjoy the kiss. But I couldn’t kiss him tonight. I’d already been kissed by someone who could turn me inside out. By someone who had tilted my world.

When the night wound down, Reeve asked if I wanted to go somewhere quieter and have a nightcap. The offer would be tempting to almost any girl, but it was wasted on me. “I think you’re incredibly talented and will have an epic career,” I said to Reeve. “I have an early wake-up call tomorrow so I should go.”

I was caught up in Bryan, no matter how hard I tried to protect myself. He was the one I wanted. He was the one I’d never stopped wanting. I only wished Bryan wanted me in the same way. Body and heart.