“You’re not, baby.” Torrent enveloped me in a hug, rested my head against his solid chest. His heart beat steadily, and his body warmed mine. “There’s nothing to be nervous about.”
“I don’t enjoy being the center of attention. I hide in the shed when Dewlyn and Vice visit. It’s such an event when they come. Mayhem too. Hasel prepares for days when he calls and says he’ll be stopping by. Crowds? I don’t like them much. It’s not my thing. Everyone at the party will be looking at me, smiling at me, and I gotta entertain them.” Bile rose in my throat.
“There’s a total of about thirty people in this community.”
“I know! Thirty.” He put me at arm’s length, and his lips twitched. “It’s not funny.” That did it. Torrent laughed. “Stop that.” I laughed with him.
“You look like you’re going to the guillotine, while I think it’s the best day of my life.” Ouch. I hadn’t considered his feelings. “It’s fine, baby. You’ll get through it. One hour? That’s good enough. Hasel won’t be offended if we excuse ourselves to breed.”
Oh God. “We’re gonna breed again?”
“We gonna breed all the time. I will fuck you day and night. It’s my duty to meet all your needs. You need my dick. I can smell your heat.” He inhaled. “Yeah. Smells like vanilla blossom. I love vanilla. Vanilla ice cream and cookies. Everything vanilla.” He licked his lips.
That did it. The bathroom was too far. I wasn’t gonna make it. Torrent walked to the window and opened it. I ran to it, bent, and heaved breaths. I hadn’t eaten a single bite all day. I couldn’t stomach anything. Torrent stroked my back, then held my braid to keep it from flopping over my shoulder. I rested my cheek on the window. “I can’t be sick.”
Torrent’s lips stretched into a smile. When he smiled, his eyes tilted up. It made his hard features softer. “Feeling better?”
“Yes.”
“I feel better too. At least now I know it’s the fear of crowds and being the center of attention that’s keeping you away and not the act of mating me.”
“I aim to make you feel better.”
From the pouch, he pulled out a thin necklace. A small full-heart pendant swung at the end. He wound it about my neck. I stood and touched the heart. “It’s pretty,” I said.
“It will do for now.”
“Thank you.”
Torrent grunted and winced. “My leg’s killing me today.”
Probably from all the excitement of last night. “You want meds?”
“Took a whole bunch.”
“We should stay in, then.”
“Don’t even try. Let’s go.”
“Are you sure? We could just…veg out, have a party of two.”
“I’ll hold you to it. After the party.” He opened the door. “I got your back, baby. Always.”
As we walked down the hall, I felt the walls were closing in on me. I was having a panic attack but managed to move my feet. One and then the other. If I stopped, I’d turn and run.
Torrent didn’t enter the sanctuary from the wing. He exited the wing.
“Where are you going?” I asked.
“To the party.”
“Ha-ha. It’s that door over there.” I pointed farther down the hall.
“We’re going in through the main door.”
“Oh, great.”
Torrent chuckled. “I’d carry you. If I could.” Something sad passed over his eyes. They softened, and he lowered his gaze.
I tapped his shoulder. “Hey, you know, it’s not about what you can’t do right now. It’s about what you will do tomorrow.”
“I’m surprised you didn’t run out on me.”
“I have nowhere to go.”
“If you had somewhere to go, would you?”
If he’d asked me the same question a few days ago, I’d have said hell yes. But now, I wasn’t sure, and I didn’t know why I wasn’t sure. Perhaps because he looked at me like I hung the moon or because I kind of liked being around him. Maybe. “I don’t know.”
Torrent nodded. “I’ll have to work to change your mind, even though I know you deserve better. I can’t let you go, Sienna. The only way I’d let you go is if I die.”
“We’re the most fucked-up couple in the history of the Pairing Program.”
“Oh, baby, we’re not even in the Pairing Program.” He palmed the doorknob. “Ready?”
“Nope. I want to run.”
“Please don’t. My leg is killing me.”
I chuckled, then shook my head. “My dad should walk me down the aisle.”