I tapped my fingers on the bed. I couldn’t walk around naked. What to do? Ah, Reagan’s clothes fit me. From the closet, I pulled on a white T-shirt and black tights with a sense of relief I didn’t have to wear the baggy dress anymore. At the mirror, I paused. Gosh, I’d forgotten what I looked like when not dressed in those community attires. Despite going vegetarian, I hadn’t lost any weight. I expected a pale face to meet me, but my cheeks were rosy. I smiled and marched to the door.
“Where are you going?” Torrent asked.
“To the bathroom.” I opened the door.
“There’s a bathroom—”
I slammed the door closed.
“Come right back!”
“Sure,” I mumbled, intent on returning whenever I returned.
As I walked by Mr. Silent, he spoke. “Happy mating, was it?”
Christ. He’d probably heard us. “Yeah,” I threw over my shoulder, pretty sure I wouldn’t get the same greeting from Hasel since I ran late. I thought she’d chastise me. Until I walked into the kitchen.
Pans and pots covered every inch of the counter. God knows what bubbled in the big pot. Hasel, wrist-deep into dough, turned to greet me. I’d never seen her smile this wide. Even her eyes laughed. “Happy mating! May you breed the finest beasts.”
“We didn’t breed.” That wiped the smile off her face. Ha! “I thought we’re doing laundry.”
“It can wait. Mating can’t wait. Go back to your rooms.”
Which rooms did she want me to return to? I was pretty sure she meant Torrent’s, and I didn’t want to go back. “Can I help you with something?”
“No. You’re the guest of honor tonight.”
“I am?”
“We’re having a…pairing party.” She clapped her hands, and flour burst out and all over her. She giggled, the first time I’d heard Hasel laugh. “Matings are happening. It’s a cycle. Mayhem released the hunters from duty so they could scout for mates. It’s a cycle. We are in a cycle!”
“What is a cycle?”
“It’s a burst of mating heat. One after the other, bitches go into heat, and matings happen as their heat calls to the male.”
“I’m pretty sure I’m not in heat.”
“Of course you are. I smell it. If I smell it, he smells it, and he’s gonna wanna breed you until you take seed.”
“Ew.”
“Sex is healthy, child. It is healthy for the mind and for the body. In my days, my good ol’ male and I would close our tent off and…” She smiled down at her dough. “We made Lore.” She took a small chunk of dough, spun it into a ball, and put the ball on an oiled tray.
I sprinkled some flour on my palm and did the same. “Do you have any other kids?”
“I had another. Couldn’t carry him all the way.”
“I’m sorry.”
“It was a long time ago. We hit drought that year, and I barely survived myself.”
My hand flew to her shoulder. Before I could retreat from touching another beast, I tapped it. “Lore is a fine man.”
“Yeah well, I hope he’s out there scouting too. That boy needs to settle down. All he does is let those auctioned girls use his body.”
“I’m sure he’s looking.”
Hasel nodded and put the tray in the oven. She wiped her hands on a rag. “Momma Jo accepted to join us at the party.”
I sucked in a breath.
Hasel glanced at me, then back down to an empty tray. She oiled it and worked on the dough again. I made seven balls, she made ten, and we continued kneading in silence before she said, “I don’t know what to do about her.”
Surprised, I paused my work. I always thought Hasel knew everything. She seemed as strong as a rock and fast to make decisions. “What do you want to do?” I didn’t want to make it my business, but I asked anyway.
“I keep them fed and clothed, expecting nothing in return.”
“You also ravaged their home and killed her husband.”
“Their husband,” Hasel corrected. “Their tribe is inbred.”
“It was a community.”
“A breeding tribe,” Hasel repeated more firmly. “Humans produce about an equal number of males and females. Lots of females and only a few adult males in a community makes for a breeding facility. Besides, her husband supported Men of Earth and spat nonsense and hate. A waste of clean air and food. He had to go.”
“Why did you invite her?”
“Shouldn’t I have?”
I shrugged. “Don’t know.”
“I thought you’d like to have her present.”
I didn’t know if Hasel was testing me or genuinely asking me if I would like to have Momma Jo at my mating party. I shrugged again, though I wanted her to come. When I escaped the circus and came here, Momma Jo welcomed me. Despite her refusal to see me after my incident with Torrent, when she gave me the poison, she did it because she’d believed I’d be miserable mated to a beast. I’d believed it too. Now, I’d mated him. And I wasn’t miserable. Perhaps it was the novelty of sex or his promise he’d always sit in my corner. I didn’t know, but I couldn’t say I was unhappy, though I tried to deny any sort of feelings for him.