man was in serious need of a psychologist. Bet he had mommy issues.
A crone with a hooked nose and perky DD breasts pushed her way in. “Where is
my dear Fabian?”
I did a double take. Oh, ick. Heather De Luca in the flesh. You’d think with all her
money she would do something about her saggy, dimpled butt. A little plastic surgery
on that nose wouldn’t hurt either.
30 | GAIL KOGER
The other women stampeded through the door.
“Please come in,” I said drily.
The ladies oohed and aahed over the palatial digs.
The blonde let out an excited cry and hobbled over to Thomas Moran’s painting of
the Grand Canyon. “I’ve never seen a Picasso before.”
“That’s not a Picasso,” Heather De Luca corrected snottily. “It’s a Moran.”
The blonde’s face crumpled.
Heather was one hell of a bitch. Maybe the rumors that she dabbled in the black
arts were true and she had put the whammy on Fabian.
“Excuse me.” The blonde touched my arm timidly. “Where’s the restroom? I have
a bladder issue.” She did the wee-wee dance.
I quickly pointed to the one off the kitchen. It was snake-free. “It’s just past the
refrigerator.”
“Thank you.” She scurried off.
I triggered my hidden cameras and clapped my hands loudly to get the chattering
women’s attention. “Please follow me. I have champagne chilling by the pool.”
“Champagne,” the ladies cried in unison. Zoom! They were out the door and
chowing down on the five-hundred-dollar-an-ounce caviar and hors d’oeuvres. Poof. In
less than a minute, the two-thousand-dollar bottle of imported champagne was gone.
Didn’t they feed the gals at the retirement homes?
Fabian strutted out with a fully erect penis straining the material of his Speedo.
Holy guacamole, he could put an eye out with that thing.
“Good gracious,” one woman exclaimed, fanning herself.
Another gal added, “He reminds me of my Harold. That man had one hell of a big
dick.”
Heather licked her lips obscenely. “I can’t wait to taste it.”
CATCHING DRAGOS | 31
Ugh. I fought down the urge to hurl.
A blue-haired woman with a walker thumped her way closer and peered at
Fabian’s cock. “Can I touch it? It’s been so long.”
A laugh bubbled up. She was priceless and quite horny.
The man-whore made his pectoral muscles dance.
I watched in fascination. What an interesting talent.
Thud. Thud. Thud. Thud.
What the hell? I looked over my shoulder and groaned. Several ladies had fainted.
The other women just stood there oblivious to their fallen comrades, their
attention firmly fixed on Fabian, who shimmied and shook his tight ass.
Lordy. Was it hot in here?
“Oh my,” Heather gasped before crumpling to the floor.
Great. Four ladies and one faker down. “Should I call 9-1-1, sir?”
With a pout, Fabian stopped his dance routine. “Si.”
“This happen a lot?”
The man-whore shrugged and kissed his fingertips. “It’s amore. Sono innamorata.”
Love, my ass. I dialed 9-1-1 and explained the situation.
The fire dispatcher sighed. “Fabian? This is the fourth time this week we’ve been
called out to deal with his ladies. Has he considered cutting back on his entertaining?”
I looked over at Fabian who was preening in front of his adoring fans. “I don’t
think that’s an option.”
“The captain will want to talk with him,” the dispatcher said.
“Probably a good idea.” Disconnecting, I knelt by Heather and blew in her face.
Batting frantically at her rather large nose, Heather reared up and made retching
noises. “Ugh. Ugh. That smell. Did a demon fart? Why am I on the floor?”
32 | GAIL KOGER
A grin pulled at my mouth. Who needed smelling salts when you had hell breath?
“You fainted.”
“Get me off this filthy floor,” Heather commanded imperiously.
Before I could move, Fabian scooped Heather up and carried her over to a chaise
lounge. “Rest, cara.”
Heather wrapped her arms around his neck. “You’re so fucking beautiful.”
Fabian planted a kiss on her badly cracked lips. “Grazie.”
My stomach roiled. How could he kiss her?
Bam. Bam. Bam. The door shook under the blows. “Fire department. Open up.”
Someone sounded a bit cranky. I hurried over and let the paramedics in.
A hunky medic asked, “Where are the patients?”
“On the patio.” I pointed to the women still sprawled on the tiles. “They got a bit
overexcited.”
The grim-faced paramedics rushed over to the now moaning women.
A medic wrapped a blood pressure cuff around an old gal’s arm. “Ma’am, are you
on any kind of medication?”
The old gal grinned up at him. Her lipstick had migrated to her stained dentures.
“I’m Hyacinth.” She ran a hand up his thigh and asked coyly. “Did you know I can suck
the chrome off a bumper?”
The medic made a choking sound. “No, ma’am, I didn’t.”
“Let’s blow this joint and I’ll show ya,” Hyacinth promised.
Removing her wandering hand, the medic said sternly, “Behave yourself.”
If I had a suspicious mind, I’d think Fabian had put a love spell on the ladies. But
why?
A big bull of a fireman stormed in and snapped, “Fabian. Where is he?”
CATCHING DRAGOS | 33
“On the patio, sir.” I turned to gesture and noticed Heather had stuck her tongue
down Fabian’s throat and he seemed to like it. That was just so wrong.
Trying to push her sagging boobs back in the bikini top, the lady with the
overactive bladder crashed into the fireman. “Oh! Excuse me. I didn’t see you.”
“Mom!” the fireman bellowed furiously.
Her lower lip trembled. “Charlie? What are you doing here?”
Charlie took off his uniform shirt and draped it around her thin shoulders. “I
could ask you the same thing. You were supposed to be at the Botanical Gardens.”
Tears dripped down the blonde’s cheeks. “We changed our plans?”
I handed her a tissue. “I think your mom has had enough excitement for one day.”
Shooting me a glare, Charlie escorted his mother over to the couch and gently
eased her down. “I want you to wait here. I’m gonna have Sam check you over. Okay?”
His mom sobbed. “Please don’t be mad.”
“I’m not angry with you, Mom.” He placed a kiss on her right cheek. “I’ll be right
back.”
Oh, boy. The shit was about to hit the fan. I gleefully followed Charlie.
“You sick pervert!” Charlie shouted at Fabian.
Fabian quickly unwrapped himself from Heather. “Mi perdoni. Do I know you?”
I grabbed Charlie’s arm. “Just because he likes fucking old ladies doesn’t give you
the right to hit him.”
He jerked his arm free and punched the man-whore right in the kisser.
The blow snapped Fabian’s head back, knocking him into the pool. Splash! Water
cascaded over the old ladies, drenching them and ruining their spiffy makeup.
I quickly called 9-1-1 again.
The police dispatcher asked, “9-1-1, what is your emergency?”
“I want to report a fight.”
34 | GAIL KOGER
“Are there any weapons involved?”
“Just his giant pecker,“ I answered.
Charlie waded into the pool after Fabian.
A hand to his bloody mouth, the wuss of a man-whore retreated to the far side of
the pool.
After a long pause, the dispatcher inquired, “I’m sorry, did you say his pecker?”
“I did. Fabian’s quite proud of it, but I think it’s gonna get damaged. Charlie’s not
real happy with where he’s been putting it.” I watched the paramedics jump in the
water and grab their captain before he could hit Fabian again.
Laughter in her voice, the dispatcher continued with her questions. “Do you need
the paramedics?”
“No, we already have some.” I disconnected.
The medics wrestled Charlie out of the pool.
Heather stripped her top off and proudly thrust her DD breasts out. “Fabian,
could you be a dear and put some sunscreen on my girls?”
“Anything for you, amore mio,” Fabian called, pulling himself from the pool.
Charlie struggled to break free. “You fucking pervert, I’m gonna kill you.”
I did a mental happy dance. My paparazzi contacts at Celebrity News would love
my recording of this little shindig. It would expose Fabian as the gigolo he truly was.
While he was busy clearing his name, I could find out where he had hidden Ethel
Rossi’s medallion.
Sirens sounded in the distance.
Time for the pièce de résistance. I chanted softly, “Verisimiloria et potuero.”
Right on cue, the bull snake slithered out the patio doors and wrapped itself
around Fabian’s left leg. He yelped, jumped back, and slammed into Charlie. The fight
was on.
The police rushed in.
CATCHING DRAGOS | 35
I loved it when a plan came together.
36 | GAIL KOGER
Chapter Six
Within the hour, my video of Fabian, the gigolo, went viral. The smirking female
reporter on the Celebrity News television show asked, “Does supermodel Fabian have
mommy issues? A little birdie tells me his pool has seen more action than Hugh