They took their seats and Sinead watched him bite into the now leaking-with-hot-sauce burrito.
“Ten, nine, eight…” she counted down.
He blinked and looked at her. His eyes going wide. “Oh my fucking God!”
“Told you it was serious hot sauce,” she said, trying not to smile as his face turned red and drops of sweat started beading on his forehead. It was like his whole body was on fire from the inside. She could only imagine what that felt like.
“You’re laughing. I can see your lips twitching,” he said around a straw as he sucked up soda. “You’re evil to laugh at my pain.”
Sinead shrugged. “I warned you.”
“Not hard enough! Oh. I don’t think I can feel my tongue anymore.”
With that she burst out laughing in his face.
* * *
Wednesday
“No. I’m not doing that again.”
She was on the night shift and Cherise had just delivered her a grilled cheese and tomato sandwich with a side order of cheese fries. Something that David had proclaimed upended his world.
He was sitting on her side of the booth so he could whisper naughty things in her ear and while she mostly liked it, they were not celebrating their six-day anniversary in the bathroom again.
“It was hot.”
It was. However, it was also illegal and she was not breaking the law. Again.
“Then how about we take the food to go and sit in my car and make out.”
“Your car is too small.”
“The squad car then.”
“Absolutely not! I’m not making out in my squad car. Do you know what happens in the back seat of that thing with drunks… it’s gross.”
“Fine then. We will not make out. Instead I’ll sit here and eat my cheese fries, which are the most delicious things on earth.”
“You do that.”
He leaned in closer. “Except of course your pussy. That is in fact the most delicious thing on earth. Cheese fries are a distant second.”
She tried not blush and giggle. She failed to do both.
* * *
Thursday
“It’s too much,” Sinead insisted.
“It’s your day off. We fly up to Seattle, we have the best salmon we’ve ever had, we stay overnight and fly back tomorrow well in time for your shift. I don’t see the argument.”
Sinead was standing at a private airport, looking at a private jet. A real private jet. Jokingly she had told him about Seattle and the next thing she knew he was driving her to a small airport where a private jet was waiting. It was absurd.
It was David.
“Seriously? We need to fly to eat salmon?”
He looked like an innocent boy. “It’s the best salmon.”
“Fine.”
“Besides, there is something else I really like to do on airplanes that I think you’ll love.”
Twenty minutes later he explained he liked to get his dick sucked while she went topless so he could play with her nipples.
“David! Uh, the pilot.”
“Has to fly the plane. The cockpit door will remain closed the entire time, I promise. See what did there? I got to say cockpit. Now come love, off with your shirt. Let me see those tits of yours.”
Ten minutes later she was topless, he was pinching her nipples, she was sucking on him hard and she could care less what the damn pilot did.
David, she learned, was hard to say no to.
* * *
Saturday
“You’re drunk,” she accused him as he snickered at her.
“They keep giving me all this wine in these tiny glasses.”
“Because we’re at a winery in Napa, asshole. But now we’re stuck here until you sober up because I can’t drive a stick. No more wine for you.”
He pouted and he looked so cute she kissed him.
Then he seemed to think about it and then his eyes lit up and it was like he was discovering relativity or something. “I forgot I’m rich. I can hire a car service to come get us and someone else to take my car back to the city.”
Since she too was a little past tipsy, she slapped his arm in agreement. “That’s completely cool you can do that.”
“I know. Rich is awesome. Does this mean we can have more wine? Because what I’m wondering is… when is the last time you had fun drunk sex?”
Sinead mentally sorted through her sexual history. “I know I did I-regretted-it- the-next-day drunk sex in college. I don’t think I’ve ever done fun drunk sex.”
He smiled and wiggled his eyebrows.
“You’re going to love it.”
And of course, she did.
* * *
Sunday
“My head hurts,” he proclaimed the next morning.
“Because we drank all the wine in Napa,” she said, unable to think about getting up from the bed.