Catalyst(96)

“You’ve been through? My kingdom has been taken. My people are starving and dying. My father is still in there—sickened and imprisoned by an evil wizard! And you have the audacity to say I don’t know what you’ve been through!”

“You’re impossible!” I threw my hands up in frustration. “I gathered two armies for you. I’m trying to help you get back your kingdom, Princess. I’m doing everything I thought you’d want me to. I’m doing all of this for you!”

Her violet eyes blazed with fire. “You have no idea what I want! Now leave!”

I raised my finger and opened my mouth. Angry words rushed through my mind, yet I couldn’t get any of them out of my mouth. The power within built up, aching to be released. This woman was infuriating. Fire seeped from my pores, encircling me.

The princess wasn’t afraid of my magic. She stormed over to me and jabbed a finger in my chest. “I said leave. Now!”

“Fine!”

I punched the tent flaps, not even caring that they didn’t open completely. They smacked me in the face as I pushed through.

“Impossible woman,” I muttered loud enough so she could hear me. “After all the things I’ve done.”

I strode off, trying my best to push aside my thoughts of the princess and do what Master Stradus wanted me to—learn about war. I couldn’t. I summoned my power into a fireball and sent it crashing into the ground, creating a little crater. That helped. A little.

King Sharald appeared beside me and placed his hand on my arm. “Princess Krystal isn’t telling you everything, Hellsfire. She was in very bad shape when we found her. She was lucky to make it this far. Our healers did everything they could, but she really shouldn’t even be walking around. Be easy on her, Hellsfire. She’s in a lot of pain—and I don’t mean just physical.” He patted my arm, then walked away before I could answer him. If I had even known what to say.

My anger cooled a bit at his words, and I was able to do what Master Stradus had asked. The first thing that struck me was how young a lot of the soldiers were, in both the dwarves’ and elves’ camps. I had expected them to be grizzled veterans like Prastian, Behast, and Jastillian. They weren't. They were like me. They had young, smooth faces free of hair, and no scars showing. But it was the looks on their faces that got to me.

They were scared. They acted brave and put on a good front with their boasting to each other, but their eyes gave them away. I noticed that older ones kept the young soldiers busy, barking orders and making them sharpen weapons, carry supplies, or drill formations.

I wondered if I had the same expression as I walked around the camp. In a way, I envied them. They had something to keep them occupied. I didn't. I was trapped with my thoughts and worries for these people willing to risk their lives for Alexandria. If only Master Stradus had me do some magical drills.

I stopped when I reached the hospital tents. They were clean and empty now, but I couldn't help but imagine how many people would fill them after the battle. Some would never leave again. Others would leave with missing limbs or horrendous scars. Blood would flow everywhere, and groans would ring throughout the night. I said a prayer to the gods and tore myself away from imagining what it would be like.

I continued to walk, trying not to see death on people's faces. If it were up to me, they would all come back alive. If I had defeated Premier when I rescued Jastillian, we wouldn't even be here now.

As my melancholy thoughts took over, I realized that Master Stradus was right. My emotions were going to get in the way of my ability to do my part in this fight. But just as I was determined not to let that happen, my heart betrayed me.

Krystal was alone in an open space, practicing with her sword. She danced as she spun, stabbing and slicing at some imagined monster. Her movements weren't fluid or perfect. Whenever she tried to use her left side, she winced, and once or twice her left hand went to her ribs before she could stop herself. I winced with her. She still kept at it, pushing past the pain, trying not to favor her wounded side. The sweat glistened from her body, and she breathed heavily.

My frustration and anger melted away. She was right, and I was a fool. I didn’t know or understand the things she’d been through. I couldn’t. She’d had to deal with these life-altering decisions her entire life, for her entire kingdom. I’d only had to worry about myself and my mother. And if we failed here, she would lose more than just her life. Yet she didn’t appear afraid of Premier or death. How did she handle it?

The princess composed herself, holding her sword out in front of her, her still form deep in concentration. With startling speed, she broke out of her stance, lunged, and thrust. She cried out in pain and fell to the ground. I wanted to run to her and make sure she was all right. I didn't. I knew she wouldn’t want my help. Krystal pulled herself off the ground and performed the same move. This time she succeeded. I couldn’t help but give her a quiet cheer.