They had never shared a bed and not made love. It was a strange and alienating feeling that added to the fury she felt, making it impossible to quiet her head. But apparently, a self-righteous, convinced-that-he-was-right Nik wasn’t having any issues sleeping. His breathing had evened out and he wasn’t making a peep.
She punched down her pillow. Tucked in again. Finally admitted what she knew to be true. Her and Nik’s child would be born into a firestorm. He or she would be a symbol of hope for a nation. As terrified as she was of what was to come, she had to forgo her own selfishness and be there for her child. So they knew they were loved. So they would carry the burden they would assume without it destroying them. It was the promise she would make to them.
Even if it meant giving up everything she knew. Even if it meant spending her days protecting her heart from Nik. Which might prove to be the biggest challenge of all.
CHAPTER FIVE
NIK WAS UP at the crack of dawn for his journey to the neighboring island of Cabeirius to meet with King Idas on neutral ground in an attempt to put an end to the tensions between the two countries. Democracy and a desire for its independence had spoken in Akathinia over a hundred years ago and it would continue to be its guiding principle.
Idas elected to be his usual provocative self in the meeting, many of his statements based on falsehoods and misleading information. Nik might have been able to counter them more effectively had his advisers been better prepared on the points in question and been able to provide him with comebacks on the fly. He had been away from Akathinian politics too long to have every fact at his disposal.
Things went from bad to worse. By the end of the meeting, he had been left flat-footed one too many times, his fury catching fire. “Your commentary is inflammatory and untrue,” he bit out, slamming his coffee cup down on the table. “You are making the markets and people uneasy, Idas. Push me much further and you’ll give me no choice but to shut you up.”
The white-haired, craggy-faced king eyed him, his lips twisting. “So passionate, Nikandros. So unlike your brother, who listened to reason. You are living up to your reckless reputation. I wonder what will be left of Akathinia when you’re done with it.”
Blood pounded his head, blinding him to the room around him. He stood up, fixing his gaze on Idas. “Let me know when you are willing to act like a reasonable man.”
He was still shaking with anger as the Akathinian military helicopter lifted off from Cabeirius. It wasn’t until they were halfway home to Akathinia that his brain right-sided itself. He had let Idas goad him into saying things he hadn’t intended to say. Into issuing threats he hadn’t intended to issue. Perhaps he would have called the Carnelian king’s bluff eventually, but not until he had Aristos Nicolades in his back pocket and an enhanced armed forces behind him.
It did not make his dark mood, inspired by Sofía’s recalcitrance, any better, he conceded, staring out at an endless vista of blue. She had acted like a woman wronged when he’d brought her here, determined to hang on to her story that she hadn’t planned her pregnancy. And although he’d been moved by the account of her father’s death, by where the vulnerabilities he’d always seen in her came from, she needed to agree to this marriage. He needed this particular item off his to-do list. He had only so much head space.
Was she second-guessing her gamble of getting pregnant when it had become clear this was only a marriage of convenience for him? That he would never offer her the part of him he’d suspected she’d been beginning to want? His heart, something he wasn’t sure he even had anymore.
Or maybe she’d realized just how far-reaching the consequences of her actions were and was balking at the prospect of becoming a queen?
Whatever it was, he thought grimly, it didn’t matter why Sofía was acting the way she was. Dissecting her guilt wasn’t his problem. What mattered was that she accept the reality of their situation before the explosive news of a royal heir got out, causing yet more uncertainty among the people. There could be no more blows to this monarchy.
* * *
Sofía stood with her hand poised on Nik’s office door, a sleepless night of decision-making behind her. She knew what she had to do. Doing it just seemed so much harder.
She pulled in a breath, knocked as Abram had told her to, then entered on Nik’s command to do so. He looked up from where he sat behind his desk, a distracted, somewhat black look on his face. When he saw it was her, he put his pen down and sat back in his chair.
“Everything all right?” she asked cautiously.
“Kala. Fine. Have you reached a decision?”