I shake my head as fear claws its way up my spine.
I feel his body pull back, and I hold my breath as I try to prepare myself for the blow when he leaves. But he doesn’t leave. He pushes his cock inside of me, so slowly that my body starts to tremble.
“Look at me,” he whispers once his pelvis is flush with mine.
I open my eyes slowly and tears well in my eyes when I don’t see a goodbye.
I see love.
I see the confirmation of the promises he made when he kissed me.
He starts to move inside of me, not once breaking eye contact. I wrap my legs and arms around him, wishing we could stay like this forever.
He pushes one arm under me and grabbing hold of my butt, he starts to move faster. Our breaths mingle, and the sound of skin slapping on skin fills the room.
When the tightening starts to build in my abdomen, I dig my nails into his back. As the orgasm shudders through my body, he slams his mouth against mine, kissing me with so much passion it makes my pleasure increase tenfold. His body jerks against mine as he groans into my mouth.
When the last of our orgasms fades away, he kisses me deeply. He only raises his body from mine, long after we’ve cooled down from our lovemaking session.
When he pulls out of me, I see the flash of worry.
“It’s okay. I’m on the pill.”
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have forgotten.”
I can’t resist and slap his butt as he gets off the bed.
“Oh, is that how you want to play this game,” he growls. He scoops me up and before I can catch my breath, he places me down in the shower. He turns the shower on, and I let out a shriek as cold water rains down on me. He steps in under the spray and soon the heat from his body chases away the chill in mine.
Chapter 13
JAXSON
I’ve been trying to distract Marcus all day, but nothing is working anymore.
I’ve tried playing cards, chess, and even scrabble. I’ve put on a comedy on TV, but he would just stare off into space.
So now we’re both just sitting here watching the minutes tick by, and it fucking sucks. I keep looking at him, thinking of all the great times we’ve had together. I wish I could read his mind so I would know what to say to make him feel better.
An hour before surgery, panic flashes over his face.
“Jax, promise you’ll keep contact with Willow. Watch out for her. Make sure she doesn’t marry some fucker who won’t appreciate her. Promise me you’ll make sure she’s always taken care of.”
His voice is filled with so much fear that I move to sit next to him on the bed. I place my hands next to his head and lean over him so that he has no choice but to look at me.
“Don’t fucking start with this shit. You are going to be fine. You have the best doctor, and she won’t let you die. Don’t give up. Not now.”
“I’m so fucking scared. What if I don’t wake up? What if I fucking die, Jax? What’s after death?”
His starts to hyperventilate and the monitors go crazy, filling the room with noise. Before I can call for help, Sebastian rushes into the room. He presses a button, and the noise ceases. I stand up and get out of the way when he places an oxygen mask over Marcus' face.
I can only stand with my hand covering my mouth as I watch my friend break when he needs to be at his strongest.
“Come on, darling. Take a deep breath. Look at me.” Sebastian breathes with Marcus. His eyes are wide with fear as he stares at Sebastian.
Sebastian keeps soothing him and places Marcus’ hand on his chest. “Breathe with me, baby. Deep in, there you go, let it out. Deep in, and let it out.”
He patiently sits with Marcus until he’s calmed down. All I can do is fight the tears that are threatening to fall.
“Keep breathing,” Sebastian whispers. He takes Marcus’ hand and holds it as he makes sure he’s okay.
“There you go.” Sebastian removes the oxygen and smiles at Marcus. “Don’t get yourself so worked up. You’re in good hands.”
Sebastian starts to pull his hand free and to my surprise, Marcus grabs hold of him.
“Don’t leave. Stay and talk to me. Tell me anything. Just keep my mind busy, or I’ll go insane.”
Sebastian sits on the side of the bed and smiles teasingly.
“You sure you want to give me free reign over the subject?”
Marcus nods as he keeps taking deep breaths.
“Okay, don’t say I didn’t warn you. Let’s see…” Sebastian’s face lights up. “Oh yes, you’re gonna love this one. So, there I was, hiding in the closet cause it wasn’t socially acceptable to be gay. I mean, I was literally in the closet trying on my Mamma’s heels. She had a leopard print pair I really liked. She opened the door and there I was with my leg in the air, trying to force her heels onto my foot.”
Sebastian starts to laugh, and it draws a smile from Marcus.
“Darling, let me tell you my mamma was pissed. Boy, I thought she was going to whoop my ass. She hauled my ass out of the closet and picked up her heels, holding them to her chest.”
A sentimental look softens his smile.
“She was angry because I was trying to get my big feet into her four hundred dollar shoes. She wasn’t angry because I was gay. Even though I had to take the trash out for a week, it’s one of my favorite memories.”
“Have you always known you were gay?” Marcus asks.
“Gay is just a label. I’ve always known I was different from other boys. I wanted to stay home and play with dolls while they played with their cars. I chose to stay home and bake with my mamma while my brothers went fishing with my dad. I’m lucky. My family never treated me differently. My oldest brother would beat up any kid who tried to bully me. When I was confused about my feelings for Ryan, my mamma sat me down and told me a soul doesn’t get to pick its mate. You’re soulmates because you share a soul.”
“Do you believe that?”
“I do, with all my heart. I can’t imagine my life without Ryan.”
“When your mom talked to you about soulmates, was that when you knew Ryan was the one?”
“No, she just gave me a talking to so I would pull my head out of my ass and go claim my man. When I saw Ryan for the first time, I knew. I knew he was the right one because I kept going back to him. I couldn’t let go of him no matter how I tried to fool myself. Trying to stay apart is like trying to tear a soul in half.”
The door to the room opens, and Leigh comes in followed by another doctor.
“Are you ready to get those fragments out of you?” she asks Marcus while smiling warmly.
Sebastian gets up but doesn’t let go of Marcus’ hand.
“Can he come with? He’s a nurse. Is it allowed?”
The panic and fear rush back into Marcus’ eyes, and I wish I could be the one to hold his hand.
“You don’t have to ask. I’ll be there with you through the whole procedure,” Sebastian assures him.
“It’s time to go, Marcus. Would you like a moment alone with Jaxson?”
“Please,” he whispers, his voice thick with tears.
Sebastian kisses the back of Marcus’ hand. “I’m right outside the door. Call when you’re ready.”
When everyone has cleared the room, I turn back to Marcus.
“You are going to be fine.” It’s all I can say. I need him to believe it too.
“Don’t tell the guys about this. I don’t want them to remember me being scared.”
“Fuck, Marcus,” I hiss. I lean over him and cradle his face in my hands. “You will not die. I will follow you right through those fucking pearly gates and drag your ass back so I can kill you myself. You’re my fucking soulmate. Don’t you even dare think about leaving me.”
“I’m scared, Jax.” He gasps for air as tears roll into my hands. “I’m so fucking scared.”
“I love you.” I press my forehead to his, and I can’t keep the tears back any longer. “I love you. I fucking love you, Marcus Reed. You hear me?” I stare deep into his eyes as he nods. “I love you, and you will pull through this. Do it for me. I’m too fucking selfish to lose you. I can’t live a life where you’re not in it. You’re in my fucking bones. Promise me you’ll fight. Fight for me.”
He grabs hold of my wrist, and with a shuddering breath, he whispers the words I need to hear.
“I promise, Jax. I’ll fight. I’ll fight because I want to be there for every minute of your life. I’ll fight with everything I have.”
He swallows hard, and his face crumbles under the emotion which only makes me cry harder.
“But if I don’t make it, don’t think it’s because I gave up. Don’t blame yourself, because I know you will. Don’t blame me for not fighting harder.”
“What the fuck do I do if you don’t make it?” I groan as the pain rips through me.
“You live,” he cries. “You fucking live for both of us. You live knowing I loved you … so fucking much.”
We both cry because no matter how good Leigh is, there’s a chance he won’t make it.
∞∞∞
LEIGH
As Dr. Yang administers the anaesthetics, Sebastian holds Marcus’ hand. He presses a kiss to Marcus’ forehead and smiles warmly at him.
“I’ll be right here when you open those gorgeous eyes again,” he whispers as Marcus starts to go under.