Captured by the Bodyguard(38)

Just as she got past the sloping ridge that cut a path to her destination, she felt a strong hand grab her wrist gently but firmly. Immediately, Alexandra whirled round to face him, her eyes shooting sparks.

“Alexandra…”

“What the hell do you want?” she spat. Her body was trembling. Dammit! This wasn’t how she’d planned it would go if she saw him again. But she couldn’t think, couldn’t process. He was here. She didn’t know how or why, but he was. Nothing made sense but her anger and pain. Her loneliness and loss of self-pride. And now he was here, looking so gorgeous and tanned, with no sign to show he’d even suffered like she had. Hence, the cad name-calling in her head.

His eyes were skimming her face the way she remembered he liked to do. His grip tightened on her wrist, and for a moment he just stayed like that, as if time was standing still. Until she jerked her hand from his grasp.

“What in damnation are you doing here, Cane?” she asked heatedly, and he drew in a long, deep breath, that little smile she adored playing on his curvy, deliciously full lips. It wasn’t fair. He was just standing there and she was already frothing between her thighs. Just seeing him had tightened every bolt inside her belly and she was virtually gasping like she’d run a freaking marathon.

For the third time, all he said was her name. This time, so softly it sounded like a caress. She shook her head, squeezed her eyes tight to blink back the sudden tears and looked away with a hidden sob. This time when she felt him take her hand, she didn’t snatch it away.

“I don’t want to talk here,” he added huskily, his other hand reaching up to cup her face. “There’s so much to say and I feel like if I don’t get you alone now, I’m going to do something really crazy out here on a public beach. Come on…”

“I’m not going anywhere with you,” she said in a quiet, though very clear, plain voice. Her body was stiff and unresponsive and she was ready to dig her heels in the sand if he tried to make her move anywhere with him. She felt her senses slowly return and she looked up at him with defiant eyes. “And I want you to let me go.”

“Let you go?” he repeated with a half-smile, half-wince. “I’m not sure that’s an option I’m ready to take right now.”

“Why not? You took it quite well three months ago when you calmly walked out of my life. And stayed away without a word,” she gritted out accusingly.

“I was never that far away, Alexandra. I was never really gone,” he told her softly. His eyes were trailing over every inch of her now. She felt that look like a laser beam. Other men ogled her and she never got even a twitch. But when Cane did it...damn. She felt like a pornography poster.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” she asked in an accusing voice that sounding squeaky.

He took his time before finally lifting his eyes above her neck. “Forgive me,” he said in a voice she noted was totally unrepentant. “When protecting you was my job, I never allowed myself the luxury of looking at you the way I wanted to; and when I did, I never let myself fully give in to savoring the beauty of you simply because I was afraid I’d snap out of control; go past the boundaries and break the rules.”

His words made the heat shoot right up between her kneecaps. But she stemmed the steamy pleasure she felt, pursing her secret inner lips before they’d seep further. She didn’t want to want him. She shouldn’t. Ever. “And you hated that, didn’t you, Mr. Perfect? Everything has to be straight and narrow with you. Maybe I wanted you to break the rules. You losing control would have at least shown me that in some degree, I mattered more than your so-called boundaries.”

“I’m not perfect,” he corrected in a calming voice. “Alexandra, I’ll admit to being as fucked up as you can imagine. Yes, I was much too concerned about control. It’s all part of my honor code and I hated how it would feel if I broke it. But most of all, if you must know, I was afraid.”

Now he was messing with her, thought Alexandra as she huffed and flicked her hair over her shoulder. Cane, afraid? A guy like him couldn’t even recognize fear. Fear was afraid of him. But then he grabbed her by the shoulders and she turned to him with a glare that seemed to bounce right off.

“I was afraid, Alexandra,” he repeated firmly as his eyes pinned to hers. “Scared witless that I’d give in to the way I felt about you and then find out I wasn’t really the one for you. That you’d suddenly wake up and realize your feelings were just an infatuation, brought on by your close contact with your bodyguard. Any other woman and I wouldn’t mind. I’d have that fling or whatever we’d have had and then when the job was over or when you got fed up, it wouldn’t matter to me anyway. But I couldn’t risk that with you, Alexandra. And that was where I fucked up. I’m not a risk-taker; and normally that’s good for a man in my line of work. Zero risk means zero casualties or mistakes. Jeopardize nothing, and nothing will be lost. Obviously that mantra doesn’t carry over well when it comes to love between a man and a woman.”