Capture Me(28)

I know what they’re doing, but that doesn’t make it any easier to bear. People who haven’t experienced prolonged sleep deprivation don’t understand that it’s genuine torture, that every part of one’s body begins to shut down after a while. I’m nauseated and cold all over, and everything hurts—my stomach, my muscles, my skin, my bones... even my teeth. The headache from earlier is a blaze of agony in my skull, and my lips are cracking from lack of water.

How long has it been since Buschekov left me alone? Several hours? A day? I don’t know, and I’m losing the will to care. If there’s any silver lining to all this, it’s that I don’t need to use the bathroom. I’m too dehydrated, and my stomach is too empty. Not that this saved me from humiliation. Upon arrival, they stripped me and went over every inch of my body. Even now that I’m dressed in a gray prison jumpsuit, I feel horribly naked, my skin crawling at the memory of the guards’ latex-covered fingers invading me all over.

I close my eyes for a second, and the screeching alarm blares to life, jolting me awake. Opening my eyes, I attempt to swallow, to gather what little moisture remains in my mouth so I can wet my throat. I feel as though I’ve been eating sand. Swallowing hurts even more than not swallowing, so I give up, focusing on just surviving from moment to moment. They won’t let me die like this, not when they hope to get some information from me, so all I need to do is hang on until they bring me some water.

Until they return to question me again.

My mind drifts, going over the last few days. There’s no reason not to think of Lucas now, so I let the memories come. Sharp and bittersweet, they fill me, taking me away from my aching, exhausted body.#p#分页标题#e#

I remember the way he kissed me, the way he fit against me and inside me. I recall his taste, his smell, the feel of his skin against mine. He’d looked at me while he was fucking me, his gaze possessing me with its intensity. Did it mean anything to him, the night we spent together? Or was I just a casual lay, a way to scratch an itch while passing through Moscow?

My dry eyes burn as I stare, unseeing, at the wall in front of me. Whatever the answer is, it doesn’t matter. It never mattered, but now it has zero relevance. Lucas Kent is dead, his body likely blown into pieces.

The room blurs in front of me, fading in and out of focus, and I realize I’m shaking, my breathing shallow and my heart beating painfully fast. I know it’s probably from dehydration and lack of sleep, but it feels like something within me is breaking, the pressure around my chest hard and crushing. I want to curl up into a ball, to shrink into myself, but I can’t, not with my hands cuffed to the table and feet chained to the floor.

All I can do is sit and grieve for something I never had—and now would never know.





13





Lucas



After my interrogation of Karimov, Sharipov assigns ten armed soldiers to stand guard over me and accompany the nurses when they take care of me. I know he’s tempted to do more, like throw me in prison, but he doesn’t dare. Peter’s already worked some magic with his Russian connections, so everyone at this hospital is on their best behavior, the minor matter of armed guards excluded.

I don’t mind my entourage. Now that I’ve had a chance to release some of my rage, I’m a tiny bit calmer, and I spend the time between Karimov’s death and Esguerra’s rescue learning how to move around on crutches. According to the doctors, it’s a clean tibial break, so the cast should come off in six to eight weeks. That gives me a small measure of comfort, lessening my anger and frustration at being stuck in the hospital while others are doing my job.

Peter keeps me updated, so I know Al-Quadar took the bait. Now it’s just a matter of waiting for Nora to be brought to wherever the terrorist cell is hiding Esguerra. Feeling cautiously optimistic, I make arrangements for the two of them to be brought to a private clinic in Switzerland after the rescue. I have a feeling they’ll need it. I also strategize with Peter about the best way to extract Esguerra out of whatever hole they’re keeping him in, and regularly check on the burned men, who are at this point stable but drugged unconscious to ease their suffering. They’ll need multiple skin grafts—an expense Esguerra needs to authorize when he returns.

With all that activity, I don’t spend much time resting in bed, which upsets the doctors taking care of me. They claim I need to lie still and not stress in order to let my concussion heal. I ignore them. They don’t understand that I need to keep busy, that even the worst headache is better than lying there and thinking about her.