“You don’t have to decide right now,” I said. “You can think about it. Spend some more time with us if you want to, maybe.”
“I want to,” she said. “You guys are nice. But where will I go if you guys die?”
I sighed and reached over to tuck her hair behind her ear. “That won’t happen, sweetie. Please don’t worry about that, okay?”
She nodded, but I could tell she wasn’t convinced. It would take time for us to earn her trust, and I knew that even then, she’d never be as carefree as children usually were.
“I’m really happy you want to be in our family,” I said, smiling.
“Me, too,” Ryke said, winking at her.
“And if you change your mind, that’s okay,” I said. “It’ll take a few weeks for this to happen.”
“Oh.” Her face fell. “So I’m not staying?”
“Well, not quite yet, but we still have the rest of the weekend. What should we do today? Ryke has to leave for work soon, but you and me can keep busy until we go to the game later.”
“We could watch a movie,” she said. “Or play Barbies.”
“Let’s do both.”
She turned her attention back to her doughnut and I grinned at Ryke when he caught my eye. I’d been nervous about bringing up the adoption, and now I wanted to jump up and down and celebrate. I couldn’t wait to tell my mom. But it wasn’t time yet. Today my only focus was Melody.
***
The drive home from the courthouse was surreal. I kept turning around from the passenger seat of the Land Rover to make sure she was still there. She was. My daughter was still there.
She was officially ours when we signed the papers this morning, and we were planning a huge party with family and friends tomorrow night to celebrate. I was also secretly marking another occasion: I’d made it to 20 weeks with this pregnancy – halfway through. I was past the point when I’d lost my first baby. It was bittersweet, sometimes making me hopeful and other times making me sure I was pushing my luck.
But today was about Melody. I still couldn’t believe her caseworker had been able to expedite the adoption process for us so much. She was ours now, and I wanted her to know she was safe and loved.
“I made our guest room into your bedroom,” I said. “But we’ll start fresh when we move to our new house and decorate your room any way you want. I got you a Hello Kitty bedspread since you like kittens.”
“And about a dozen pillows,” Ryke said with a smile, looking at Melody in the rearview mirror. “You’ll never be without a pillow.”
“They look pretty,” I said. “You don’t sleep with them. I mean, you can if you want to, Melody.”
She was quiet in the backseat. Probably overwhelmed. I needed to dial back my excitement, but it was hard. I’d been looking forward to this day for so long.
“I got you some books and toys,” I said. “We can play Barbies when we get home if you want.”
“I want to!” Ryke said. Melody giggled at his excitement.
“He can be our Ken,” I said. “And I’m making spaghetti for dinner since you said it’s your favorite.”
When we parked in the garage and got out of the car, Melody slipped her small hand into mine. She clutched the teddy bear I’d brought to the courthouse for her in her other hand. She was silent throughout the trip across the lobby and up to our apartment.
She came through the front door and her eyes rounded when she took in the lake view offered by our two living room walls that were all windows. Even though she’d been here several times, she still seemed awestruck.
I was glad we put off the party until tomorrow. She needed a day to adjust. We played games, baked cookies and she fell asleep early. Watching Ryke carry her into bed was another of those moments I didn’t take for granted. I’d wanted this so badly.
We were all laughing over breakfast the next morning when Ryke jumped up to answer a knock on the door.
“Who’s that?” I asked.
“I think it’s Luke.”
“Oh.” I hadn’t known he was coming over. When Ryke pulled open the door, Luke entered with his trademark smile, carrying a tiny white puppy in his arms.
“Oh! I love your puppy!” Melody said, her face lighting up. “Can I hold it?”
Ryke was beaming. “The puppy’s a present for you.”
She spun her head up to look at him. “For me?”
“Yep. This is my friend Luke. The puppy stayed with him last night so you could get settled.”
I gave Ryke a puzzled grin and he winked at me. Luke bent down and let Melody take the tiny bundle from his arms.